I am struggling with patient families lately.

[jennilynn]

I am fed up with patient families treating the hospital like a family reunion site. I am tired of the family members that insist on staying the night, why? In some cases I get it. But when your boyfriend has the flu or your nana needs her rest and she won't rest with a room full of visitors, please leave and go home. I am very capable of doing my job without you laying there with one eye opened making sure I do what you think I should. These are all things I wish I could say, but damn those customer satisfaction surveys.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

well, it is what it is.

We can all agree to disagree.

There will always be two sides to a story.

If allowing families to do whatever they want is the definition of patient/family centered care , so be it.

No one ever said we had to like it.

Apparently, in some areas of the US, this works with no problems. In other areas, people have learned( been taught) to take advantage of " the squeaky wheel gets the grease".

After reading the news, I don't even know why it surprises me that some people are just plain jerks, and others are sweet , wonderful people.

Just another day at the office.

That is all.

[Guest343211]

The idea that my point of view differs from yours really seems to bother you, as is evidenced by the increasingly supercilious and pedantic tone of your posts. Personally, I find such behavior off-putting. It doesn't really win me over to your way of thinking, but rather causes me to dig in my heels and trust in my own experiential frame of reference. I suspect I'm not the only person who responds to you in this way. If you truly care about problem solving dialogue and not simply about being right, if you want people to respond differently than that, you might try putting down the boxing gloves and stop with the browbeating. I really don't mean to sound nasty, and I hope you take this feedback in the spirit in which it was intended. I would invite you to return the favor, but you've already done so under section A above.

At any rate, my apologies to the OP for my participation in the derailment of your perfectly good vent thread! I'll stop now.

??? You brought up the straw man in your previous response, not I. Honest discussion would work on keeping comparisons similar. I have no boxing gloves. Strong responses are not boxing gloves. Section A is a personal observation from previous interactions. Take it as you will.

Problem-solving is focusing on the issue/problem/concern. In the past, I have noted that many of the things we were ultimately saying were very close and not as different as you had set out by your tone. In doing this, and also not fairly looking at where we are agreeing and how to focus on the real issue, suggests to me a desire to debate for debate's sake.

I care more about the issue of opening up views to and the value of family-centered care for all people, regardless of age. I have clearly stated limits must be set in its application. I never suggested that the adult pt's wishes be ignored--don't know where that came from, and I asked that fair comparisons be made.

[Guest343211]

well, it is what it is.

We can all agree to disagree.

There will always be two sides to a story.

If allowing families to do whatever they want is the definition of patient/family centered care , so be it.

No one ever said we had to like it.

Apparently, in some areas of the US, this works with no problems. In other areas, people have learned( been taught) to take advantage of " the squeaky wheel gets the grease".

After reading the news, I don't even know why it surprises me that some people are just plain jerks, and others are sweet , wonderful people.

Just another day at the office.

That is all.

No one in this thread ever stated that it's about allowing families to "do whatever they want." If anything, appropriate limit-setting, use of sound judgment, and balanced support of administration in its implementation was noted by me several times.

It's a matter of having sound understanding, policy, and good, administration-supported boundaries.

Also, it's important to note that no one ever said an adult family member would be in "moved in" mode like you see in pediatrics. But there are times when an adult family member of S.O. staying overnight is helpful to the patient. There are also issues regard rigidity of visiting hours in many hospitals that need to be reevaluated.

It's not the philosophy, it's about how it is implemented. . .all I am saying.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Personally, I think you guys are talking from two different places. The vent threads here about families are usually about the extremes, or about minor requests in the midst of chaos that a family loses their **** over when they aren't attended to immediately.

I don't think anyone is denying the importance of FCC or PCC to promoting healing in nursing, but when the complaints about how those minor requests have not been fulfilled get a nurse in trouble, that's where FCC/PCC gets it's bad rap. Application of it requires context, and, sadly, administration sometimes doesn't care about context.

In sum, samadams is talking about the importance of it, and Stargazer is talking about the extremes of it, and it's difficult to not get all riled up when, from the start, the two participants are coming from two different places on the same subject.

That's my take on where this thread went, at least. :)

[Susie2310]

samadams8,

Reading your posts here I feel a great sense of relief that some sanity is being spoken regarding the family members role in supporting and protecting their ill family member. Obviously, for the benefit of those readers who argue that not all patients want their family member present blah blah, we recognize that not all patients want their family members present for any, very much, or all of their hospitalization, and that there are instances when the family member's presence may not be constructive and even detrimental. Your posts clearly made allowances for the latter kinds of situations. Please continue to educate people. I would love to read an article by you on this subject.

[Guest343211]

Personally, I think you guys are talking from two different places. The vent threads here about families are usually about the extremes, or about minor requests in the midst of chaos that a family loses their **** over when they aren't attended to immediately.

I don't think anyone is denying the importance of FCC or PCC to promoting healing in nursing, but when the complaints about how those minor requests have not been fulfilled get a nurse in trouble, that's where FCC/PCC gets it's bad rap. Application of it requires context, and, sadly, administration sometimes doesn't care about context.

In sum, samadams is talking about the importance of it, and Stargazer is talking about the extremes of it, and it's difficult to not get all riled up when, from the start, the two participants are coming from two different places on the same subject.

That's my take on where this thread went, at least. :)

Basically, yes, dudetee10. I would agree with that. :)

[Guest343211]

samadams8,

Reading your posts here I feel a great sense of relief that some sanity is being spoken regarding the family members role in supporting and protecting their ill family member. Obviously, for the benefit of those readers who argue that not all patients want their family member present blah blah, we recognize that not all patients want their family members present for any, very much, or all of their hospitalization, and that there are instances when the family member's presence may not be constructive and even detrimental. Your posts clearly made allowances for the latter kinds of situations. Please continue to educate people. I would love to read an article by you on this subject.

Thanks Susie. Yes, I did try to make allowances and strove to be a proponent of not throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Thanks again.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

like someone said, there are two views of this subject. What is ideal, and very useful, when families participate in the pt's care/plans. Like I said before, there is nothing I like better when ( especially in dementia pts) a family member stays with the pt. It keeps the pt calm, and the family member can help make decisions regarding their care.

The problem I had was when we have the " family reunions" , and 10 chairs in a semi room, noise, requests for drinks and sandwiches, etc.Because of the fact that the corporation doesnt allow us to set limits in the almightly name of customer service, this is what makes the job difficult. I am not allowed to set boundaries.I sure wish I was. I mean, now we have concierges, valet parking, etc. Why wouldn't anyone not view the place as a hotel? Visiting hours? Nope, come whenever you want. **** off the family members, you risk ******* off the patient.

That was my only point, and dissapointment.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

I think it is good to get things off our chest sometimes. We can all appreciate the necessity of having patients families at the bedside and the benefits to the patient. BUT......there are many instances it has gone WAY too far.

I too have had thoe familiy member that have come into a trauma room during resuscitative effort to demand attention for some mundane complaint, like knee pain for 3 day, and proceed with outrageous behavior until removed by security....only to have our behinds on the carpet the following day because there was a complaint and it is obvious that we "the staff" were not communicating properly with the complaining family. Not that they were nuts/rude/out of line/violating that patients privacy to begin with and should be horse whipped (not really but it feels good to say it) for entering a trauma room for a complete stranger....but we were not nice to the crazy person....even though the arrested from anaphylaxis 14 year old from her friends hot chocolate containing peanut oil has died.......the unmitigated gall of some people.

We all have opinions and we have strong opinion....we are nurses. We are not known for our retiring nature and mild demeanor......however....... we can agree to disagree politely.

Allnurses

promotes the idea of lively debate. This means you are free to disagree with anyone on any type of subject matter as long as your criticism is constructive and polite. Additionally, please refrain from name-calling. This is divisive, rude, and derails the thread. Our first priority is to the members that have come here because of the flame-free atmosphere we provide. There is a zero-tolerance policy here against personal attacks. We will not tolerate anyone insulting other's opinion nor name calling.

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The thread and been edited....please be respectful of each other ...or the thread will be closed.

[Silverlight2010]

requests for drinks and sandwiches, etc.

I'm just wondering if someone could fill me in on who pays for the drinks, sandwiches, guest trays and so on. Is this a "cost of buisness" or does the patient end up paying for this on his or her bill. I can't imagine insurance companies footing the bill for these things.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I'm just wondering if someone could fill me in on who pays for the drinks, sandwiches, guest trays and so on. Is this a "cost of buisness" or does the patient end up paying for this on his or her bill. I can't imagine insurance companies footing the bill for these things.

I believe it's all included in the hospital room and board charge, which covers nursing, dietary, housekeeping, linens, etc. Lab work, supplies charged out of the Pyxis, drugs, IVF hours, respiratory, pt/ot, and probably a few other things I'm missing are itemized. Of course, the attending bills separately.I think this is right, from looking at my family's EOBs, so someone correct me if I'm wrong.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

No, our floor is responsible for ordering these things. Must be the cost of business then,