I am being harrassed
- 7Jan 25, '12 by abbakingI have a major problem at work. My supervising RN has been sexually harrasing me on-going now for months. I can no longer cope with the constant sexual jokes, double entandres, references, and the occasional physical touching. He is the kind of guy that makes this out to be a joke and all in good fun. ITS NOT.
I am meeting today with my nurse manager to discuss this in person. I hope that I can remain annonomous - I do not want to stir the pot so much that I get labeled a trouble maker. However, I also want this crap to end. Its been on-going for months now and I can no longer tolerate or cope with it. I have spoke to this guy and told him to stop but I would have better luck talking to a brick wall. He is not the brightest bulb in the chandeleer.
I feel like i am ranting here but I need to get this off my chest. Compounding the issue is that I am a guy.
- 4Jan 26, '12 by leslie :-DQuote from abbakingeven if he's not the brightest bulb, what doesn't he understand about "stop!"I have spoke to this guy and told him to stop but I would have better luck talking to a brick wall. He is not the brightest bulb in the chandeleer.
i'm 'assuming' you've been clear with your concerns.
plus, you really need to be realistic.
there isn't anyway you can remain anonymous, since you are the target of his harrassment.
while it's going to be awkward confronting the issue head on, it's going to be even more difficult if you don't nip this in the bud.
perhaps talking to the mgr, WITH him also present, should stop him in his tracks.
don't forget to put this complaint in writing, along with meeting mgr in person.
i'm sorry you're going through this abbaking, but you really need to stand up to him, and tell him to knock his **** off.
there isn't any other way around it.
- 1Jan 26, '12 by shhhhI really hope your meeting stops this goon's acts right now. I can understand how co-workers get comfortable with each other and they crack off a rude joke every now and then, but most people tend to really stop in their tracks and start behaving themselves if anyone says, "Whoa, that was a little much. Knock it off." Because this guy was told to stop and keeps doing it? No excuse for that, no matter how dim you may be. I suspect he's a lunatic.
I will say that you get brownie points for going directly to him first and telling him to stop privately. You can definitely use that to your advantage. Good luck to you!
- 5Jan 26, '12 by shhhhOh, I just remembered something I think I should add. If you've already been doing this, wonderful, but if someone else is reading this and is being harassed, I wanted to stress the point to you that you should document everything! Like, seriously, bring a notepad and write down anything that can make your case if you have to go to your manager or HR!
At my previous job right before I took my current job, our unit secretary started nursing school, and a few months after that, she got too big for her britches, developed a rude, holier-than-thou attitude, and started condescendingly "suggesting" to very experienced nurses (like, they've been nurses 15+ years) how to do their job. Yeah, I'm not kidding.
I left before it got too bad, but my friends on the unit kept me in the loop because they wanted me to go to HR with them to report everything I had to deal with before I left. My friends filed a hostile work environment claim. The secretary found out about their claim and immediately filed a sexual harassment claim against them. Why? Well, in her mind, if they were filing a claim against her and trying to get her fired, it was most likely because they didn't like her because she was gay. Her behavior had nothing to do with her being gay. No, they didn't like her because she was a crazy, mean b*tch!
Anyway, her claim fell through because she didn't have any documentation that anyone was sexually harassing her (which makes sense, because no one was harassing her!). Unfortunately, my friends who had good reason to report her lousy behavior never thought to write every rude thing down that she did or said, and since they had nothing in writing, the unit secretary was allowed to come back and work after stretch of administrative leave. My friend told me it made for a very awkward work environment until the secretary transferred to another unit some months later.
HR told the unit that they could see right through the secretary and felt something was off about her, and she definitely would have definitely been fired if someone wrote down dates, times, who said what, who did what, etc. But from a legality standpoint, no one in that situation had a real leg to stand on because it was basically all heresay. Backing up your claims with everything in writing definitely gives you more clout to the powers that be. If you don't, it seems to really keep their hands tied and they cannot give the appropriate punishment. Okay, off my soapbox!
- 1Jan 26, '12 by CapeCodMermaid, RNQuote from MN-NurseAs satisfying as it may be to say that. don't sink to his level and get yourself in trouble. He might say you are a violent person and you'd be the one getting written up...or worse."If you don't stop hitting on me, I am going to kick your "That should about do it.
- 1Jan 26, '12 by Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, RN Senior ModeratorQuote from MN-NurseAnd if the OP says that they may very well find themselves on the end of an assault charge. Though I won't lie: wanting to say that would run though my mind too."If you don't stop hitting on me, I am going to kick your <censored by allnurses>"
That should about do it.
Threats may not help and often have a nasty habit of backfiring on you. You need to take it to your supervisor.