I am an American.

Nurses Relations

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In the last staff meeting, NM states Dr. A has complained because the female nurses make eye contact with him. We were instructed to respect his (and other doctors) culture and NOT make eye contact or appear assertive. When asked to clarify assertive we were told assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients".

Excuse me! I am American and I am living in America! How come these doctors don't have to respect my culture? How come they don't have to respect me (I am a woman)?

Of course I will continue to make eye contact and I will continue to request things my patients need and I will continue to suggest things that the patient needs. I will continue to advocate for my patients. If the doc doesn't like it... tough crap. I live in America and have the rights afforded American women. I am not giving them up to stroke the ego of a bigot.

Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.
If we want to pull out the cultural sensitivity card, I would go down the route of women. In fact, throughout all of antiquity and modern times women have been and will continue to be the most oppressed people on this planet. It continues today. Therefore, feel free to pull out that card.

While I generally disapprove of such moves, it is all good when somebody else opens that door, and it seems that is the case in this scenario. A person hiding behind the banner of cultural sensitivity so they can act like an orifice. Two can play that game and an oppressed, frightened nurse is going to win every time.

He he..........I can't help but snicker. We have some very "assertive" nurses on my unit lol.

I can imagine the meeting now if this had happened on my unit. The yelling and tongue lashing that NM would have gotten. And God spare that doctor next time he rounds.

Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.

I AM AMERICAN................HEAR ME ROAR.

someone was bound to do it.

Specializes in ER.

I am "Arabic," I've never heard of this or had to deal with this no eye contact thing. I was born here, but lived in Lebanon for 5 years, never had to deal with that over there either. Maybe it is more of a personal thing. Either way, I would continue to give eye contact anyways. I wonder if he gives eye contact to his patients, how awkward.

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

What a bunch of bologna. The nurses would be laughing all the way to the floor pretending to listen/comply, had that been at my hospital. I too would wish mercy on that particular doc next time he rounded.

Lets be frank here, some nurses especially when jaded can be quite characters. Trust me, they would push him over the deep end in a sneaky way where he would be moving his hospital privileges elsewhere.

The afraid and opressed card would have been definitely pulled out, and used. All gone about the 'smart' way and very diligently. The group of girls I work with are angels indeed but don't rub the halo the wrong way or you will regret it. Try THAT for assertive.....tee hee!

OP, could you do this? Could you look briefly at this doc when you're speaking to him, then carry on the rest of the conversation? Also, could you speak to your NM about talking to legal about the ramifications of what this doc is asking the nurses to do? If you're not openly and actively communicating with a doc about his patient's condition, then you'll be just as liable if something goes wrong.

I do, however, want to stress that my discomfort with this situation is because of the potential ramifications for harm to the patient, not because he's in America and should do things "our way". The United States is a great melting pot, and it's important to have respect for all cultures. If this were a patient, would you be saying the same things? If you would, you might be setting your workplace up for a huge sensitivity retraining if the patient felt the need to complain.

I totally understand. I agree with you. I just don't like the way ( the doctor) acted, they both work in the medical field and they both should find a way to respect each others culture. You can't make people respect your culture, you also have to respect theirs. I would be okay if this was a patient who complained about eye contact because it is all about what the patient wants and not what the doc/nurse wants.

I am "Arabic," I've never heard of this or had to deal with this no eye contact thing. I was born here, but lived in Lebanon for 5 years, never had to deal with that over there either. Maybe it is more of a personal thing. Either way, I would continue to give eye contact anyways. I wonder if he gives eye contact to his patients, how awkward.

Arabic "muslims". Most of them do not approve eye contact. At least thats what I learned in school and by asking some of my friends.

I would suggest he find another job that doesn't entail making eye contact or talking to nurses. Because his culture needs are interfering with patient care. Maybe in a lab somewhere doing research? He picked a field that violated his cultural beliefs, not the nurses problem. HE made a choice. A patient does not, so I would respect their beliefs as long as it didn't interfere with care.

Specializes in ER.

I am Muslim. If a Muslim man wanted to avoid eye contact , it would be out of respect and in no way to make the woman feel oppressed. In this case, it sounds more like a cultural thing. Not all Muslims have the same culture.

Specializes in LTC, hospital.

If people would stop looking for things to get offended by, the world would be a MUCH easier and pleasanter place to live in.

Specializes in ER.

^^ agreed.

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

Well, it seems that the facility is going out of their way to please and 'respect' only one side versus the many that would be affected.

I would have suggested that we do rounds, patient updates etc via email, text, FB, or over the phone to keep both parties happy and cultural needs met. I know......LOL

Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatrics.
In the last staff meeting, NM states Dr. A has complained because the female nurses make eye contact with him. We were instructed to respect his (and other doctors) culture and NOT make eye contact or appear assertive. When asked to clarify assertive we were told assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients".

Excuse me! I am American and I am living in America! How come these doctors don't have to respect my culture? How come they don't have to respect me (I am a woman)?

Of course I will continue to make eye contact and I will continue to request things my patients need and I will continue to suggest things that the patient needs. I will continue to advocate for my patients. If the doc doesn't like it... tough crap. I live in America and have the rights afforded American women. I am not giving them up to stroke the ego of a bigot.

I am more offended by the actions of your nurse manager. Why didn't she stick up for her staff instead of acting as a mouthpiece for some arrogant physician?. I don't mind respecting others' cultures as long as it doesn't require me to act in a way that is not true to myself. In this case, Doc A needs to understand that the culture here is different and he is just going to have to get over it.

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