How can you be nonjudgemental?

[Kristy02_RN]

I know nurses are supposed to be non judgemental, but how do I not judge??

I was doing a sterile task for a pt and w/o even realizing it according to her i contaminated my sterile field. now she doesn't say to me "oh i think you contaminated that." she SCREAMS at the top of her lungs "YOU CONTAMINATED YOUR STERILE FIELD NOW I'M GOING TO GO SEPTIC AND DIE IT'LL BE ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!" Now I hadn't even touched this woman yet! The procedure I was doing was something she did at home all the time but now she's in the hospital and can't?! if she was truly sick i'd understand but she was admitted as a precaution b/c her husband was in for something highly contagious. Her tests had all come back negative. She and I had argued before we started because I wanted her to clean herself up a little bit and she wanted me to do it! She's independent from home! why should I give this healthy woman a bedbath?? Now where i begin to be the naughty judgemental nurse is, this womans hospital room REEKS of cat urine!! apparently her home is the same and she won't be allowed to go back. As she's yelling at me i'm thinking. "why is she so concerned about me breaking sterility if she does this in a home infested w/ cat feces and urine?!?"

I feel so awful for thinking that...how do you keep from being judgemental? It's so hard sometimes, but she deserves my best!! I'm beating myself up because I made a mistake and for thinking so badly of this woman. I'd never knowingly break sterility and put a patient at risk! I threw everything away and asked another nurse to do the procedure for me b/c I was upset and I didn't want her to accuse me of anything!

[crjnursewarrior]

Because if we don't, our own fellow nurses will call us out and make our lives miserable for failing to conform to the image of the angelic, always-compassionate nurse.

Most of the nurses I have ever had the pleasure of working with would not "call me out" or make my life miserable...most of them understand that nursing is not always about compassion. I am sure even Flo Nightengale would tell you that she had days where she thought very judgmental thoughts! It's just a fact of nursing...you have to meet people where they are at and sometimes that's not a very good place! Occasionally you will work with some idealistic Pollyana nurses who think they can save the world, and may try to "call you out", but it has been my experience that these nurses are usually brand new or just not in reality!

[crjnursewarrior]

Some people could win a million bucks, and be whining about the serial numbers on the bills.....

I like that saying, xtx...a very intuitive nurse I once worked with used to say a variation on that theme. She said these type of pts. would complain if their ice cream was cold!

[Cuddleswithpuddles]

You can judge but also realize your judgment is often irrelevant and hinders you from providing care.

It does not help your patient.

It does not help you.

So let it go in the moment and vent after work.

[kelll]

I believe everyone is judgemental. I have found it impossible not to judge myself or the quality of the work that I do. Think about it this way, you must assess every situation before you take action and you must prioritize your day. I understand that this woman was on the "to do list" and eventually some action would have to be taken maybe her best course of action would have been to plan some "self care" or "patient education" seriously I think we all have come to this at some time or another a seemingly ridiculous request that is fruaterating beyond belief(and may feel like a waste of time). Try not to beat yourself up over having to "judge" afterall its part of your daily "plan" and venting is also normal as far as I can tell. I chuck it all up to we all have to do things we don't like. (and yes sometimes afterall the one who yells loudest gets the "best" care to shut them up...i agree this sucks)

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

since not a poll thread, moved to our nurse colleague / patient relations forum.