Having a problem with the rudeness - page 2

by SoundofMusic

2,182 Views | 19 Comments

Of doctors. of the floor secretaries, of the techs, the transporters, the lab people, the co-workers, and, of course, SOME of the patients (...not all. ) Why is everyone so rude? Why are some of the nurses so rude? Some of... Read More


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    Quote from caliotter3
    Try this approach. Everytime you encounter this behavior, say "Is something wrong, you seem so upset? or distracted?" Or if there is the dirty look, "What's wrong? You look angry?" "Can I help?"

    By confronting the behavior each time it displays itself, you are eventually going to make the person aware that their bad side is showing. If they have any intuition, they might catch on and take the repeated hints. You most likely are not the only one who notices this. Vocalizing about it reinforces the instance in the mind of whoever does the other's performance review, should they be present. You deserve a more pleasant working atmosphere. This might help bring it about. If the person explodes at you, then by all means tell them what their behavior is doing in terms of the unit morale. They are not displaying good team behavior by making the unit tense and miserable. If they continue, you can make a comment to the nurse manager.
    Sounds like good advice! I feel as though I have tried, but will continue to keep the positive flair and hope that they eventually come around. I feel less paranoid, that some other newbies that aren't new grads, just new to the unit, have shared w/ me their own feelings similar to my own. Cross your fingers for us! We are very few and get this! 4 nurses have left the unit in the time I've been there. Just don't know if they were canned or left of their own accord.

    Chloe
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    I think a lot of the time, rudeness is in the ear of the beholder.

    I have had to fine tune my "ear" so as not to be quite so sensitive to (in the sense of perceptive of) rudeness.

    I try to overlook it and I try not to emit it.

    Sometimes though, it is just there, it is a pain in the neck, and I smile, ignore it and I silently plan that when I get home I will have a little glass of wine. If I still remember it when I get home, I have the wine.

    Most of the rudeness in my life comes from family members. Frankly, they have been challenging enough that it is the rare patient, fellow nurse, fellow employee or physician that bothers me.

    There are some benefits to having come from dysfunction.
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    Quote from chris_at_lucas_RN
    I think a lot of the time, rudeness is in the ear of the beholder.

    I have had to fine tune my "ear" so as not to be quite so sensitive to (in the sense of perceptive of) rudeness.

    I try to overlook it and I try not to emit it.

    Sometimes though, it is just there, it is a pain in the neck, and I smile, ignore it and I silently plan that when I get home I will have a little glass of wine. If I still remember it when I get home, I have the wine.

    Most of the rudeness in my life comes from family members. Frankly, they have been challenging enough that it is the rare patient, fellow nurse, fellow employee or physician that bothers me.

    There are some benefits to having come from dysfunction.
    Oh I am the first to admit Chris, that I am very sensitive and easily hurt. Not sure at this point if I'll ever develop that leather skin. Given that knowledge, I need to have other options. Such as a brilliant comeback or the ability to know it's ok to turn and walk away or will I be judged insolent or in some other negative way on my orientation file.

    I always thought it was my sensitivity to pain and suffering and wanting to jump in and make it better that made me cut out for this line of work. I always put my pts' needs in front of my own, so it enrages me further when I see and hear the other nurses speaking of the "frequent fliers that complain" or continue to treat me so rudely.

    My homelife hasn't always been so easy either. Perhaps if I'd learned more self-confidence there, I'd have it now? But cannot contine to lay blame there. I'm a big girl now. And I would just like a little kindess and respect for all that I do at work. Not the rude condescension, and mistreatment.

    Chloe
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    Quote from ChloeinAtl
    Oh I am the first to admit Chris, that I am very sensitive and easily hurt. Not sure at this point if I'll ever develop that leather skin. Given that knowledge, I need to have other options. Such as a brilliant comeback or the ability to know it's ok to turn and walk away or will I be judged insolent or in some other negative way on my orientation file.

    I always thought it was my sensitivity to pain and suffering and wanting to jump in and make it better that made me cut out for this line of work. I always put my pts' needs in front of my own, so it enrages me further when I see and hear the other nurses speaking of the "frequent fliers that complain" or continue to treat me so rudely.

    My homelife hasn't always been so easy either. Perhaps if I'd learned more self-confidence there, I'd have it now? But cannot contine to lay blame there. I'm a big girl now. And I would just like a little kindess and respect for all that I do at work. Not the rude condescension, and mistreatment.

    Chloe
    I so agree with you! Probably the one thing that irks me is when colleagues are rude or callous about patients. They may be whining, they may be making a mountain out of a molehill, they may in fact be admitted A LOT, but their issues, their discomforts, their frustrations are significant to them.

    Personally, I believe that when we have a negative attitude toward a patient, even if we put on the happy face, etc., it can show through. This is, IMHO, not such a good thing. Bad for patients, bad for morale, just not helpful at all!

    I think you and I would work well together! Wish we had the opportunity.....
  5. 0
    Quote from chris_at_lucas_RN
    I so agree with you! Probably the one thing that irks me is when colleagues are rude or callous about patients. They may be whining, they may be making a mountain out of a molehill, they may in fact be admitted A LOT, but their issues, their discomforts, their frustrations are significant to them.

    Personally, I believe that when we have a negative attitude toward a patient, even if we put on the happy face, etc., it can show through. This is, IMHO, not such a good thing. Bad for patients, bad for morale, just not helpful at all!

    I think you and I would work well together! Wish we had the opportunity.....
    Aw Chris, how nice of you to say all this. Who knows? I might be working alongside you quicker than you know! LOL. Cannot stay at the homestead much longer w/ my dysfunctional homelife, nor work where I'm not wanted, but spend most my waking hours.

    One thing I've noticed in life, is that negativity is so contagious! Coworkers complaining about pts being "drug seeking" when really they're in end stages of life (I work on Oncology/Renal/Dialysis/Hospice unit) only instigates furthered discussion and beratement by the other nurses who had that same pt a week ago, or just last shift. (our pts stay months!).

    This isn't the unit I dreamed of working on, but i feel it's a terrific learning experience. I just hope I still have some stomach lining and tooth enamel left at the end of orientation or I make it a year so I can leave to pursue my true niche elsewhere.

    Then who knows? I may be knocking on your door to be my roommate! :spin:

    Chloe
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    MPH is committed to providing all employees with a healthy and safe work environment free from bullying.

    Bullying is repeated unreasonable behaviour directed toward an employee, or group of employees, that creates a risk to health and safety. Examples of behaviour that could be bullying include:

    excluding someone from workplace activities
    giving someone the majority of unpleasant tasks
    verbal abuse
    humiliating someone through sarcasm or insults
    intimidation

    MPH expects all employees to behave in a professional manner and to treat each other with dignity and respect when they are at work.

    We encourage all employees who experience bullying to report it. When bullying is reported, it will be seen as a serious matter and will be investigated in a timely manner. The reporting and investigation procedures for dealing with bullying are set out in the personnel manual, as are disciplinary and appeals procedures. Managers and supervisors have a responsibility to ensure employees are not bullied.


    (we also recieve rewards for being caught by doing some-thing good)...makes every one behave nice
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    There are couple of rude people on my unit, but I've been through so much crap already that I'm now of the "bring it ON!" attitude. I've discovered that I can say almost anything to anyone as long as I plaster a big old smile on my face. One morning I heard the nurse I was supposed to be giving report to making fun of my last name as she tried to pronounce it off the assignment board. She was repeating it over and over to the charge nurse and saying, "Who the H*LL is that???" The charge nurse could see me standing right behind this woman, and I could see a look of panic on his face as he tried to signal my presence to her. When she finally turned around to face me, I said brightly (ENORMOUS SMILE ON MY FACE), "That the H*LL is ME! It's pronounced *****, and I am ready for report when you are!" I heartily enjoyed her embarassment. I have found that laughing when people are trying to bring you down really throws the jerks off.
    Poi Dog, paxpax, and Suninmyheart like this.
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    I am so glad you posted this and so many replied. I was hoping there was a decent place out there to work. My place sounds just like yours. I agree with another post---it is the clinical managers problem to deal with these issues. But in my case, my clinical manager will stand at the nurses station and bad mouth other nurses. In 10 weeks I have my full year in. I WILL BE MOVING ON!
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    Sigh.... nursing is so full of stress and personalities and more stress. I am not surprised this is a common topic that comes up on allnurses. I too have sooooo much to learn. I know I tend to take things too personally and too seriously and this has already reared it's head several times and I am 4 weeks into orientation on my cardiac progressive care unit.

    I love being able to come to allnurses and get insight and help. I LOVE the advice about laughter.

    I have to admit I was terrified in a sense about landing a job in a unit that sucked because of many of the stories I read about here. So far I have been lucky, GREAT NM, GREAT preceptor, mostly friendly people. But people are tough and professional and expect the new grads to know their stuff. No hand-holding but that's a different topic.

    I do know that if I ended up on a unit where the rudeness was unit-wide I would seriously look into going somewhere else. I value respect and professionalism and kindness too much to waste a whole year or two dealing with that crap.
  10. 0
    I feel so bad for those of you dealing with this. As a new nurse myself....there is PLENTY to stress about without rudeness and belittling. I work where I did the majority of my clinicals...and one of the main reasons I chose the facility is the work enviroment. They lose alot of new nurses who want a larger facility...but I wouldn't trade the pleasant atmosphere and decent work loads for more critical pts if it means dealing with what I read about on here.

    ((hugs)) to all you other new nurses...and hopefully it'll pass. You HAVE earned your way..and you ARE nurses. You don't deserve to be treated with disrespect.


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