doctor with unprofessional personal life - page 6

a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a... Read More

  1. Visit  heart2nurse profile page
    0
    i guess i didn't really make my first post too clear. and also i totally see and agree with the replys. the doctor i'm talking about is actually a friend of mine and we have become closer in the past couple years. i guess it is just my own personal belief that she deserves much more than the scum husband she is with. he doesn't treat her well at all and he lives off her money and doesn't contribute a thing. i would never "tell" or try to her her into trouble- she doesn't do anything illegal or wrong and thats i guess not what i meant by my first post. and also when i said she only smokes a few cigs a day - i mean that that is all she does- not the pot or alcohol. sorry i guess this is more of a friendship issue --meaning i want her to be happy and she isn't. i don't mean to sound like i'm just prying into her life- she invites me to hear what she tells me. i guess all i can do is - yes - give her emotional support...
  2. Visit  fab4fan profile page
    0
    Quote from heart2nurse
    a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?
    Yes...MYOB! (Is this post for real?)

    There's nothing to report. Just do your job to the best of your ability.
  3. Visit  Tweety profile page
    0
    Quote from heart2nurse
    I guess all i can do is - yes - give her emotional support...

    Exactly. This is what she needs from her friends. She will to come to when she wants to talk. Best for you just to listen and perhaps suggest AlAnon.


    Alcoholism is so frustrating and it's very frustrating watching friends and family get caught up in it.
  4. Visit  fab4fan profile page
    0
    If you're such a friend, why would you post intimate details about her life on a public BB?

    I vote for this thread to be closed...maybe even deleted, given the personal info.
  5. Visit  Sadie04 profile page
    0
    I agree...it's not appropriate.
    Quote from fab4fan
    If you're such a friend, why would you post intimate details about her life on a public BB?

    I vote for this thread to be closed...maybe even deleted, given the personal info.
  6. Visit  krob0729 profile page
    0
    Quote from Cute_CNA
    I'm glad you asked for advice before approaching her. I feel like I'm just repeating what everyone else is saying, but I do think it's true: it's not your place to point this out.

    Unless these problems are affecting her work, it's nobody's business. And it doesn't sound like she is the one with the problem; it's her husband's problem.

    Yes, this may have tainted your view of the health profession, but there is the ideal, and then there's reality. Reality is never as pretty as the ideal.

    Work on yourself first and foremost. Unless she SAYS or DOES something unethical at work, there is no grounds to say anything about it.

    One more thing: don't repeat what you hear about other peoples' personal lives, whether it's good or bad. Gossiping is unprofessional at best, and can get you fired at its worse. I think it creates distrust among staff, and therefore can result in a lack of cohesion and teamwork.
    Plus, 9 times out of 10 the gossip is a lie, built out of petty jealousy, or staff evidently not having enough to do at work. $ 0.2
  7. Visit  krob0729 profile page
    0
    Quote from letina
    This doctor deserves admiration rather than criticism. Can you imagine how difficult it must be for her to have to deal with her husband's issues then come into work and care for others, with a smile on her face? Not easy
    Not to mention, she's probably aware of everyone gossiping about her which makes it even worse.
  8. Visit  rn/writer profile page
    0
    Quote from heart2nurse
    i guess i didn't really make my first post too clear. and also i totally see and agree with the replys. the doctor i'm talking about is actually a friend of mine and we have become closer in the past couple years. i guess it is just my own personal belief that she deserves much more than the scum husband she is with. he doesn't treat her well at all and he lives off her money and doesn't contribute a thing. i would never "tell" or try to her her into trouble- she doesn't do anything illegal or wrong and thats i guess not what i meant by my first post. and also when i said she only smokes a few cigs a day - i mean that that is all she does- not the pot or alcohol. sorry i guess this is more of a friendship issue --meaning i want her to be happy and she isn't. i don't mean to sound like i'm just prying into her life- she invites me to hear what she tells me. i guess all i can do is - yes - give her emotional support...
    Maybe if you'd posted a question about how to help a friend in a tough situation, you would have gotten a more positive response. Then you could have mentioned that she is a doctor and it wouldn't have seemed so narky.

    Calling attention to her medical status up front put your post in the category of a professional-type inquiry and the beef that almost every subsequent poster had (and I'm with them) is that, unless there is incompetence, illegality, or some other kind of patient-threatening behavior, there is NO professional aspect to this poor woman's situation whatsoever.

    Miranda
  9. Visit  button2cute profile page
    0
    Quote from heart2nurse
    a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?
    Hello,

    May I ask you a question? Heart2nurse.....Do you live a perfect life and practice it ? Because no one on this earth is perfect. We all live to the best of our abilities and hopefully, we choose the appropriate choices in our lives that give us the best times in our lives. No one can pick up a stone and throw it into her glass house. Because everyone lives in a glass house for one reason to another reason.

    I am not sure how you obtain this information about her home life via friends, co-workers, and/or the physician herself. Regardless, it should not be a discussion on allnurses.com or any place at all. It is not your or mine or anyone's business. I hope you are flawless cause what comes around goes on.

    Are you a hypocrite? Because airing someone's business is not appropriate.

    I am sorry this thread is inappropriate and I hope the physician never reads this thread. Because it will hurt her more than dealing with her husband problems. You are suppose to be supportive and be there for her, if she reaches out for your advice and friendship. I would not want you to work with me or think you know my business and for you to air it on the internet. I would be so pissed at you for your inappropriateness and I would never want you to be on my shift.

    In conclusion, I never want any one to speak about me as I do make a pratice of not talking about anyone and especially at work. That is called GOSSIPING and that can hurt a person or a group people emotionally, and it also effects your working relationship, friendship and reflects who you are as a person. Think about it because I know you lost your angel wings because you are gossping about someone at your job. That is so wrong and hurtful. Therefore, please try not to judge others because people will do it to you and then you will feel the hurt.

    Sorry,
    Buttons
  10. Visit  pricklypear profile page
    0
    Heart2Nurse - That does change things a little. I think it just sort of sounded like you felt she shouldn't be "preaching" to her patients given her own personal situation. If she's a friend, and you're concerned about her welfare or emotional well-being, that's different than just a working relationship.

    My advice would be to be available for her to talk to (which it sounds like you are) and let her know you support her. That's all we can do as friends. We can't say magic words that make them realize they don't need to live that way. IT's hard to watch someone have to go through things like this. Good luck to you, and her. She's lucky to have someone like you who is concerned and willing to listen.
  11. Visit  jmgrn65 profile page
    0
    Quote from heart2nurse
    a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?
    Sorry if you get offended by what I am about to say, but it isn't any of your business how she lives when not at work.
  12. Visit  NRSKarenRN profile page
    0
    Closing the thread.

    Sounds like you are intereacting with this person on two different levels.
    a. Professional
    b. Friendship which grew out of professional role.

    As long as her professional role is not being compromised, what goes on at home is of no consequence--- 100% agreement here with bb members.

    Just because she has bent your ear with personal details does not make for true friendship unless you are socializing together after work hours.
    Let her vent if you desire but just remember you may still have to work with her in a prefessional relationship after the "friendship" is over.

    VERY hard to keep your boundaries here. Many nurses have been burned when they try do be both.

    Best advice. Do Nothing unless directly asked to comment.
    Might be wiser to cool relationship totally.

    Closing thread now.

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