Disrespectful coworkers

Nurses Relations

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I work with some people who don't respect me, or don't like me, or I'm not even sure. They are all less educated than I am but treat me like I'm an idiot. I always try as hard as I can, I work hard, I do my work as best I can and I really care about what I do. But if I have any questions (I am new to the unit and have little experience with a few of the things we do for which I received about zero training because my training was supposed to be done by these mean girls) they treat me like I'm a moron or if I make a simple and non-harmful mistake they are all incredibly awful to me like I'm totally incompetent (meanwhile they are no help because they're always on break or off gossiping somewhere, which may be why they hate me, I never partake in that). I never get breaks and get stuck with far more work than most of them. not exaggerating, they eliminated one position and just gave me the workload) I also have more education and different experience than most of them. They act like I'm just dumb and they never include me in unit activities. No other nurses sit with me at lunch like it's a junior high school lunchroom! It's like a giant group of high school girls and I have even heard them talking poorly about me. It's so ridiculous that I mostly just keep to myself and do my work. I also do extra work because of their failure to complete jobs too. I'm the first one there and last to leave. I'm just not sure what to do. Short of interacting with them as little as possible, I just stay quiet and work all day. I don't get involved when they talk rudely or gossip or take a million breaks. It's just damaging to my spirit that they hate me and I don't know why. I don't know what I did to make them think I am stupid or lazy or whatever they think. They are so mean that I don't even have the guts to confront them, plus since I am new I fear for my position. I LOVE my job but some of the coworkers are awful. Some are amazing. I just don't know what to do. Anyone have a similar experience or advice?

Specializes in ICU.

For whatever reason, they want to make you miserable. Being quiet and withdrawn lets them know that they are pushing your buttons.

It is time to establish yourself as the person in charge. For example, It may be unsafe for the patients to have so many people taking excessive breaks. Take that to management and ask how this should be handled.

Whatever issue you choose to take on, be sure that you have the full support of upper management and voila you have established yourself as a member of the leadership team. They will all want to be your new best friend.

The biggest power play in any unit is being in charge of the schedule. I think that you should take charge of that.

Keep a journal. It helps to write things out.

1 Votes
Specializes in Electrophysiology, Cath Lab, MS, Travel.

Wow, forget my first post that gave advice of trying to get to know them, it's clear from your other posts that you have already given that a good shot. It's one thing to have a bad work environment with unpleasant coworkers, but it's a whole different ballgame when your license is compromised because you are put in a Charge nurse position with people neglecting to do their job. That is very unfair to you and I agree with everything the above poster said. Get upper mgmt on your side. If for some reason you can't or upper mgmt won't address your concerns, & you feel as though your license is on the line, maybe as a last resort look into a transfer to another area or look for another job? I may sound like a broken record w/ this...but: At the end of the day, you have one license & worked your butt off to get it, so you must do what you have to do to protect it. My heart goes out to you & I hope you are able to get the support you deserve!

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Specializes in Oncology.

I've spoken with management and there will be a period of time I will be removed from the unit and in another unit. I think this will make the workers understand that they need to respect me because they should come to appreciate all of the extra work I do when it's pushed back on them to handle instead of me. I will be working a different assignment for a period of time before returning.

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\ said:
I've spoken with management and there will be a period of time I will be removed from the unit and in another unit. I think this will make the workers understand that they need to respect me because they should come to appreciate all of the extra work I do when it's pushed back on them to handle instead of me. I will be working a different assignment for a period of time before returning.

I'll tell you right now, they've won. By removing you they won't care about the work (who did it before you) and no one will lift a finger. By leaving for a bit, they won. Hate to say it. As charge why weren't you writing up the breaks and such? As boss you SHOULDN'T be hanging out with them (at least that's the NCO in me saying that). Being left out sucks, but are there other charge nurses you can talk to on other floors?

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Sparrowhawk said:
They're being mean to her and ya'll are basically saying its' her fault.

No fault if you don't have the authority as charge to take action to change the behavior, there's no nurse mentor to help, (as they have no DON) and the manager is not a nurse. It's like hanging out someone to dry with no chance to have recourse.

They get away with it because they are allowed to. And there is absolutely nothing that anyone can do about it. Stinks out loud......

1 Votes
Specializes in Oncology.

I am not in a disciplinary role. I am not worried about winning. And if they don't do their jobs now, they will be responsible for patients deaths from coumadin problems, babies born pre-term, and cancer deaths. They're going to have to do some real work now. I am taking a much easier and more pleasant assignment for part of the week and then returning for part of the week. the manager, who has disciplinary action pending and is the person responsible for discipline, is having a formal meeting with the workers and discussing their new assignments. They're also being broken up so that this "clique" of coworkers moves to separate work areas. I don't want to hang out with them, but to be ignored when I speak to them and treated like the unpopular 2nd grader at lunch isn't going to work for me. They are getting what they need to do their jobs properly and act like grown ups now. I am glad I talked with management.

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Specializes in Electrophysiology, Cath Lab, MS, Travel.

That's fantastic news! I'm glad those changes are being made to your work environment & hope that it all works out positively.

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Specializes in FNP, ONP.

Resign. There is no point in staying in that environment.

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I agree with this response. If you are a manager. Go home of Friday after work, write down the expections and job description of each employee. When you come in on Monday, walk by and said a polite Hello Ladies and Gentlemen if men are involved. Whether they speak it not important. You have done your part to initate a greeting. Set up a meeting with each employee, do not bring up the past, let them know what is expected, listen for feedback and respond accordingly to what their job description states. Make a list of supplies, go around the department and find those supplies. Make yourself stay busy and smile, sing as you go. Keep in mind it is a job, not your life. Do a good job if that is your nature, but also learn to say no. Take some professional growth classes and always keep your eye looking out for new opportunities. This life is too short to be miserable on a job.

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Unfortunately, the nursing profession is very much like middle school. I've been in it for almost 10 yrs, and I just haven't figured out exactly why we are so compassionate and tolerant of our patients, yet (occasionally) so mean to each other. Believe me, I understand. I completely understand why you alluded to your education, because in many circles that should be something that earns you some respect, or at least a seat at the table of (attempted) mutual understanding.

A few of the lessons I have learned:

1) smile a lot, don't talk about others even if others gossip to you

2) do not reveal information about your private life (well things that could be controversial like your husband was an abuser or your son is failing kindergarten or your political and/or religious beliefs UNLESS they are shared by most on your unit)

3) as you can see, emphasizing your intellect, knowledge, or experience in other areas is not well received by many (some will relate to you more but that's another subject)

4) try to communicate using brief, simple statements that are NOT defensive or critical or intellectually condescending

5) when you make a small error, DONOT attract attention to yourself by being either overly peninent (" I can't believe I did that, OMG, what am I doing?", or overly defensive "everybody does that.... it was really --------'s fault"). Just smile and MOVE ON.

6) Staff people love nurses who cook and/or bake once and a while for the whole unit. Yes, it's a lot of work, and yes, you are very busy with everything else in your life, but if you are genuinely happy and maternal when you bring stuff in.... that can go a long way in the damage control dept.

7) Accept that nursing, like every other experience in life, is simply not fair. Some people, who are the same everything as you (smart, generous, well humored, clinically proficient etc) will be more well liked and respected, and some will be less so. Why? Who knows.

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