Could I be the Victim of Workplace Bullying?

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After reading "Behavior that Just Shouldn't Fly" by a fellow poster on allnurses, I decided I do not want to become the nurse that quits because of bullying in the workplace.

Would you consider having a sixth person tell you over several month's time that "You always get the 'crap' patients. Someone must not like you very much" or "You always have the hard patients" or "You always get the difficult ones" as a form of bullying? I've had a pharmacist, a CNA, three nurses and a psych doctor all tell me this. I'm beginning to see a pattern in my assignments.

While charge nurses are supposed to be assigning according to acuity, I recently had 3 patients on 02, those three patients also on tele, (my team totaled 4 patients) all 4 of those patients were fall risks, 1 of those was a bariatric patient with special needs, another patient was flip-flopping between hospice and aggressive treatment based on family's indecisiveness and were constantly cornering me for 30-40 minutes about what to do (I have compassion for them - I was just very stretched). This "hospice" patient was confused, combative as well and known for strangling. My other patient was post-op and a constant whiner and was very mentally draining... This is just one example of many. On top of this assignment, there was only one CNA for the entire floor.

For some of you, having 5 and 6 patients is a luxury, but for me, when I get these heavy loads nearly every time I'm at work, it wears on me. I'm not happy to be there and I dread what assignment I will be getting that day. My co-workers are always visiting at the nurse's station, or online shopping or playing on their cell phones. Meanwhile, I'm running back and forth and back and forth and it never ends. When I'm in rooms, I find I lack energy to hold conversations and I just wish patients would stop talking to me so I can get in and get out. I always wanted to be the nurse to sit and take time to get to the bottom of why someone may be upset or depressed or lonely or what have you... I did that with the aforementioned load and was so completely drained. :bored: I learned one was grieving loss of a body part removed over two years ago and was very visibly angry for it but softened after being allowed to explain, the other had a wife who died several years ago, has been lonely ever since and was missing his companion... I don't know how to handle all this information some times. The angry patient and the hospice patient were given to me because "I knew you would be compassionate. They need a nurse with compassion" the night charge says. What about me? Typically I just love to love on my patients, but I'm beginning to show compassion fatigue. I just know that's what this is. How do I navigate this with my manager so I don't appear to be whining? I'm not the only one noticing my loads, so this should be ok to address, right?

I've considered that my assignments may be given because the night charge nurse making day shift assignments may be trying to play on our best nursing traits, but I'm tired... I sleep later, I have less energy, I've been combating depression that is slowly lifting... I say things I normally wouldn't and become angry faster...

I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I've been praying a FT position will open up in another department so I can transfer. I don't think my career on my floor should have to end this way...

I'm very diligent :bookworm: in my nursing, always researching and I have good rapport with the physicians. I've noticed nurses in the past that have been picked on because they are slower, or march to the beat of their own drum, or do not handle stress well, or do not play politics. I am there for my patients so I do not visit and gossip, and therefore, do not play politics.

I don't want to be sensitive. Any thoughts on this issue? How would you proceed? Thank you!

:cautious:

Specializes in ER, ICU, Trauma,.

It seems to me the reasons you are getting the heavy case loads is because you ARE skilled enough to handle it. The others are already freaking out and they don't even have your load, can you imagine what would happen if they actually had those patients.

You sound like a wonderful nurse, and if I needed palliative care I hope you would be my nurse.

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Are you by chance an introvert? I noticed you said you were feeling "drained." That can happen when an introvert gives too much of themselves. You sound very empathetic with your patients, which can be a good thing, but you've got to set boundaries to keep them from sucking the soul out of you. Nursing is a "giving" profession, but that doesn't mean you have to give everything you have. You can still be an excellent nurse if you don't choose to take on patient's problems as your own. Delegation and prioritizing can help you to manage you time as well, so you don't feel so harried and weary.

Also, make sure you're taking care of yourself. Try to take your breaks, eat and pee during your shift! Then leave your work at work and go home and wash it all down the drain with your bubble bath. I've had to see a therapist in the past to help me learn to set boundaries and how to stop feeling like I need to save the world. My mantra is "It's not my problem." It sounds callous, but I'm not at work to fix my patients' personal problems. I am there to facilitate their return to, or maintenance of their health. And this means delegating to social workers or pastoral care (as a PP mentioned) whenever I cannot meet certain needs.

The silver lining: Learning to manage a difficult patient load well will turn you from a great nurse into a stellar nurse. Good luck!

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I set boundaries with my patients especially with the demanding and emotionally draining ones and their families. And I admit that I am emotionally detached somewhat because I'm a floater. And no this doesn't make me a bad nurse. I meet their needs the best I can but I'm not a fluff and puff type of person. I may not have time to go get them that second cup of coffee or give a back rub but I make sure that they are safe, their dressings are changed, ordered tests are performed, educational needs are met and any change in symptoms are addressed as well as other nursing care needs. And if I'm coming in to do something with them then I let them know exactly what I'm doing and answer any questions they may have. I will take the time out to listen but if it isn't pertaining to their hospital stay I redirect the conversation back.

A lot of times being a floater I actually do get the worst assignment but I get through it because I know I'm not coming back the next day. I have a firm and direct approach now. And I tend to be very vocal about assignments. Where I work they don't staff by acuity. You get rooms 1-5 no matter what type of patient is in there (don't get me started on that crap way of staffing). But if I have people that all need blood transfusions, drips, or complicated care I make my thoughts known to the charge, nurse manager and my direct manager. Are you speaking up when you are getting these types of assignments? Or better yet have you asked the charge nurse why he or she thought this particular assignment would work?

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

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Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.
What kind of unit is this? A bariatric pt with special needs; a hospice pt; tele pts; a post op...? That's a very strange combination of pts. Agree with the PPs.

I work in a small rural hospital and that kind of assignment is routine.

Throw in some peds every once in a while to know true misery.

Clarification: I have nothing against kids as patients. They just make me nervous as I only have one every 6 months or so.

To the OP: You're going to burn yourself out. You're not the pt's friend. You're not their confidant, counselor, or spiritual advisor. If you feel the need to be any or all of those things you certainly can. But then you need to accept your current situation as normal, and stop complaining about the nurses who get to sit and play on their phones. That sounds offensive, it's not my intent.

As every one has already posted, you have to make boundaries. You might not make the "nice" list of nurses that's posted monthly, but you'll save yourself some sanity.

Are you being bullied? No. They are taking advantage of you though.

Work on being more assertive, pts AND co-workers, and everything will improve.

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1. If your coworkers are surfing the net or visiting while you race around like a fiend, ask them for help.

2. Does your hospital have a pastoral care department? I worked on a busy surg floor and didn't always have time to meet pts' emotional needs. Pastoral care were worth their weight in gold (they weren't there to preach or proselytize) and pts would thank me for calling them.

3. When you get overloaded, tell your charge nurse in a matter-of-fact tone that you will need help with your pts if they are to receive quality care for their myriad needs.

4. Smile and thank everyone for the wonderful help they provided. When you stop suffering in silence, you may start receiving more realistic work loads.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

THIS!!!! IS!!!! PERFECT!!!!

Once upon a time, I was you. The bolded parts are what I did. Life is much better now.

I didn't try pastoral care, but I am going to add that to my bag of tricks now!

Good luck!

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

I don't see any bullying, and the comments from others about how you get the most difficult patients may be their attempt at a compliment. You may get the assignments you do because the charge nurses know you can handle it, and that you won't whine about it. If you're worried about being bullied, rest assured you are not. If you're worried about being taken advantage of by others who are not doing their fair share, just ask them for help. And be sure to thank them effusively afterward.

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Specializes in Pedi.
I don't see any bullying, and the comments from others about how you get the most difficult patients may be their attempt at a compliment. You may get the assignments you do because the charge nurses know you can handle it, and that you won't whine about it. If you're worried about being bullied, rest assured you are not. If you're worried about being taken advantage of by others who are not doing their fair share, just ask them for help. And be sure to thank them effusively afterward.

I agree. This isn't bullying at all. I'd view it as a compliment. Not all nurses are able to take care of the most difficult patients.

I was one of the nurses (when I worked in the hospital) who took all the patients that "no one else wanted to take care of". I was the primary nurse for many of our "nightmare" patients. Why? Because I could handle them.

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And it seems as if your strengths ARE being played up. You are quite good at juggling difficult patients--and lets face it, every patient can be difficult. For all of us, some days you just can't catch a break. You must be highly organized and have the temperment to handle more emotionally difficult patients and families. Have you tried saying something along the lines of "you KNOW how much I love my complex patients, however, I am getting burnt. Can we mix it up a bit?"

Your comment is very encouraging. I do need to say something. After speaking with another co-worker, she said she has heard night shift say before "Insert my name is very good with that kind of patient. She is so calm and does a good job so we'll give them to her." I immediately thought the worst. I guess, in part, b/c I have overheard a day charge assign a night nurse a difficult patient just to be mean. It would be nice if these sorts of praises were actually shared.

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Are you being bullied? No. They are taking advantage of you though.

Work on being more assertive, pts AND co-workers, and everything will improve.

I am going to be more assertive and speak with my manager. I've made comments in the past about how I can't handle another patient being added to my already difficult load or how I need help, but am still given this additional patient and do not receive help. I will be more vocal, in a tactful way, of course.

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Are you by chance an introvert? I noticed you said you were feeling "drained." That can happen when an introvert gives too much of themselves. You sound very empathetic with your patients, which can be a good thing, but you've got to set boundaries to keep them from sucking the soul out of you. Nursing is a "giving" profession, but that doesn't mean you have to give everything you have. You can still be an excellent nurse if you don't choose to take on patient's problems as your own. Delegation and prioritizing can help you to manage you time as well, so you don't feel so harried and weary.

Also, make sure you're taking care of yourself. Try to take your breaks, eat and pee during your shift! Then leave your work at work and go home and wash it all down the drain with your bubble bath. I've had to see a therapist in the past to help me learn to set boundaries and how to stop feeling like I need to save the world. My mantra is "It's not my problem." It sounds callous, but I'm not at work to fix my patients' personal problems. I am there to facilitate their return to, or maintenance of their health. And this means delegating to social workers or pastoral care (as a PP mentioned) whenever I cannot meet certain needs.

The silver lining: Learning to manage a difficult patient load well will turn you from a great nurse into a stellar nurse. Good luck!

Yes, I AM an introvert! Good guess ;-) I like the pastoral care idea as I am constantly forgetting. Our pastors do regular rounding but sometimes they are definitely needed more! I'm learning to establish more boundaries. As an example, when people ask me for coffee while I'm doing an assessment, I will tell them breakfast will be up soon with coffee and that if they still need it, I will bring it after I'm done meeting with all my patients. That seems to go over well and they understand. It feels a little strange saying "No" or "Not right now" as people are VERY demanding, but it makes me feel better knowing I have some control and I can only do what I can do without having my hair fall out or losing my sanity.

I do delegate...when I first started the tech that sent out the pages wouldn't actually send them as I had requested. I finally figured that out. She was an advocate for CNA's and did not like nurses asking them to do things (delegating is part of MY job as I'm not super-human). I didn't make ridiculous requests. After speaking with my manager, he straightened this out. Sometimes, I still have issues with the CNAs not doing tasks and not telling me - this is irritating. I don't ask much and am constantly telling them to let me know if they need help. There's a select few that give issue... Anyway, I'm finding my voice, slowly but surely after 2 years! Agh!

Thank you for your input.

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What kind of unit is this? A bariatric pt with special needs; a hospice pt; tele pts; a post op...? That's a very strange combination of pts. Agree with the PPs.

Strange indeed. I work in a rural hospital on a tele/med-surg unit with an occasional peds patient. A hodge podge of cases. :cyclops:

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Your comment is very encouraging. I do need to say something. After speaking with another co-worker, she said she has heard night shift say before "Insert my name is very good with that kind of patient. She is so calm and does a good job so we'll give them to her." I immediately thought the worst. I guess, in part, b/c I have overheard a day charge assign a night nurse a difficult patient just to be mean. It would be nice if these sorts of praises were actually shared.

SEEE! I knew it was a compliment!

It would be nice if praises were shared -- but usually it's only the complaints that we hear. Try to keep in mind that if you're not hearing the complaints, you must be doing it right!

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