Confrontation with bullies at work place; need advice with next step

I'm a new grad, and have been working as a new nurse for early 5 months. I've heard a lot regarding "nurses eat their young" before I stepped a foot into this profession, however, I didn't quite comprehend the significant meaning behind it until I have personally experienced it at my work place. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Dear readers,

I'm a new grad, and have been working as a new nurse for early 5 months. I've heard a lot regarding "nurses eat their young" before I stepped a foot into this profession, however, I didn't quite comprehend the significant meaning behind it until I have personally experienced it at my work place.

She's one of my preceptors when I initially started working there. As a new grad, I anticipated a lot of support, a hand of guidance, and patience, however, after a period of time spending with her, sadly to say, she had successfully made my life miserable, and made me feel extremely unwelcome. At a point I even contemplated whether this is what nursing is about. I lost my eager passion for nursing. Initially, I would greet her with a hi and bye whenever I see, and her reaction to my greetings were very indifferent and sometimes she would just look at me and turned away. Ultimately, It made me feel very embarrassed in front of everyone, several times, I thought to myself, why am I so persistent with her? why am I so desperate to get her approval? Why am I let her put me down again, and again? For what?

So yesterday was the climax of this bullying business, or perhaps, put an end to my misery. First, I walked in on her gossiping about me with another co-worker in the nursing station. At that moment, I just looked at them both in disbelief. Secondly, what really ignited my untold emotions was with a patient's IV antibiotic. Another co-worker, let's name her B, whom I gave report to, also a close friend to hers, and her (A) were discussing that she discovered that there's very fluid backed up, about 5ml, in a 3g Unasyn bottle which was attached to the 100ml 0.9% sodium Chloride. Be mindful, I gave all my reports already, had to stay to hang another bag because another co-worker © was complaining that I should have done that during my shift, of course, I willingly agreed to change the IV bag. It was close to 8am in the morning, I was preparing to head back to the locker room, when I heard my name, I looked up it was nurse A calling for me to go to nurse B. They knew exactly what to do with the bag, but had me call the Pharmacy and bring it down to the Pharmacy department to have them show me how.

On my way down, I was so upset, tears were inevitably rolling down my cheeks. My nursing educator saw me. She told me that she heard a calling from God and saw me standing in a corner crying. I thank God that she saw me. After hearing what had happened, she furiously took me upstairs and called in each person for confrontation. My manager was there at the time of event. My former preceptor, nurse A, admitted that she was closed off to me, and it all started when she first precepted and perceived my attitude and action as not receptive to her teachings. I stood there shaking my head while listening to her complains. So my manager inquired when all of this was going on, how come as a senior nurse, especially a preceptor, she didn't express it to her when they had meetings together. In addition, she fabricated more lies about me not giving her full reports in the morning. I voiced myself and said it loud and clear in front of everyone that every time we sat down to give her reports, she's either not listening attentively and in the middle of giving reports, she would turn away to start conversing with another nurse, or snatching reports from my hand and telling me she knows the patient and need no more reports from me.

I've been thinking a lot. I don't know if I can still work on that unit anymore. I don't know if I should transfer to another unit, or apply to another hospital. I know distinctively that these nasty people are everywhere, but especially, since the confrontation and mediation took place, I'm not anticipating my work life to be any more easier or comfortable on that unit. Words will spread like feathers throughout the whole unit. I don't know how people will view me after this incident. Perhaps, using higher authority to report the "bullies"?

I feel lonelier than ever. It makes me dread going to work everyday. Please help!

Sincerely,

Your desperate fellow nurse

Sorry you're having a difficult time. Sometimes taking a coworker aside (after reflection and thought) to have a discussion may be helpful in clearing the air. If that's ineffective, you may have to seek counsel from a manager. It's also good to remember that folks may have another perspective (and work on issues that you may be creating).

I can't help but wonder if lateral violence/rudeness/indifference/passive aggression/bullying are more prevalent in some industries such as healthcare because of their histories. Healthcare culture is often entrenched with a hierarchical mindset that fosters negative behavior. I also think negative behavior amongst colleagues may be rooted in poor management, limited supplies, under-staffing, economic pressures, etc. Organizations that do not actively address such issues often have cultures that are unsafe for patients and more stressful for workers.

A culture of safety requires collegiality amongst teammates - whether nurse/nurse, nurse/provider, nurse/patient, nurse/family member, MD/family member, nurse/unlicensed personnel, nurse/dietary, etc. It also requires that team members listen to one another and respond to one another effectively and respectfully. If there are issues, participants should pursue resolution.

Neither rudeness nor bullying (nor indifference) foster patient safety. Teamwork and collegiality do. They also create more pleasant working conditions.

Wow! This is a very interesting conversation!

I have been reading AN since nursing school five years ago and have learned a lot from new and experienced nurses on this site and in real life. The one thing that never ceases to astound me though is that new nurses are often told to "grow thicker skin" or basically just suck it up and shutup or get out of the game. Everyone was "the new guy" at some point and while I have learned not to take things personally when others have personality deficits, I still often wonder why so many people think that it is okay when others find it too much trouble to return a greeting to a coworker especially when it is someone in a position of authority. New nurses or even experienced nurses who are stepping into a new area are generally nervous and scared. I would be worried about a nurse who wasn't nervous in unfamiliar territory. After all, the scariest nurses are the ones who have nothing left to learn. We are a community and even though the attitude that you "don't go to work to make friends" runs rampant, I will always be grateful for the people who take the 2 seconds to say "hi" in the mornings (or evenings) because I have been in situations where that was all it took to let me know I could breath and if I can provide that reassurance for someone else so simply then I will be more than happy to earn a little karma.

Very well put. It takes so little time and effort to be decent to our fellow coworkers. Why then is it rarely ever done. This will forever boggle my mind.

Specializes in ER.
No, it's not bullying. It's being rude.

so what defines bullying? Consistent rudeness in the workplace, directed to a specific person?? When is it acceptable to just deal with it, or when to address it to avoid this from becoming a bigger problem? Don't tolerate it, no one should have to. Hower one defines it, don't tolerate abuse.

Hmm, I think I may have developed my PICOT question after reading this thread. My two cents on this subject is this. Your preceptor needs more training. I know that it is hard, but keep your head up, you will never be more than an associate of your preceptor. When it comes to the "gossiping" if you can hear it then tell them to stop. They have the right to their opinions but you should not have to hear it unless it specificly relates to your job performance and if that is the case you should be spoken to directly not talked about behind your back. Good luck to you.

I'm sorry to say that this kind of maladaptive behavior has gone on in nursing for the past 30 yrs as I know of it and currently still does, it doesn't matter if your a new nurse or a very experienceed nurse- I am currently still getting it. I'm getting it from some pip who has less than 10 yrs experience and I have the misforutune to have her as my nurse supervisor. I can ask her the same question 2 days in a row and will get 2 different answers. I did test this out-

Her issue is she is inexperienced and she knows it. And it all come home for her when she gets around a more experienced nurse. So once you pass to the very experienced side of things- the game switches to the lesser experienced bullying the more experienced. It's all done to bring someone down and make them feel good. In their eyes- it's all about them. It's not about team, it's not about work to get done, it's about the little girl with the prettiest dress at the party. Bring her in some birthday cake with a candle and a barbie dress and tell her how pretty she is. Sorry - this behavior enrages me.

Specializes in cardiac, psychiatric emergency, rehab.

The beat goes on and only we can stop it!

My way of dealing with it is to get as far from clinical nursing as I can. I truely don't care how much inexperience floats around clinical nursing anymore. Heaven help the nursing unit that gets one of my family members as a patient- I will be eyes wide open and the first mistake I find, I am going right to a lawyer and informing them to investigate the how the nursing staff gets along( nurses aides aides included, I don't care that they don't have a license- they can be sued also) I don't care to teach, mentor or precept. I am thoroughly fed up and disqusted by it. I have been on the recipient end of this holy crap one too many times and it has cost me too much. Loss of jobs, loss of income, loss of spouse and a mammed mother. Because a bunch of fools can't behave themselves.

I would love to see the malpractice lawyers investigating a malpractice or negligence case start delving into the interpersonal dynamics of what is going on - in these clinical areas. The managment doesn't stop it, the nurses themselves won't stop it. Let a few of these insecure maladapted little bullys get dragged into a law suit because the object of their bullying entertainment was distracted and emotionally upset by this crap.