Bullying by Nurses and CNa - page 4

Have any new grads feel like they are bullied by other nurses on the floor they work on.? First off I am a new grad with 10mths experience on a chf floor. I precepted on mornings and opted for night... Read More

  1. by   DTWriter
    In regards to the OP's case:

    Usually, a person in a similar situation as the OP's situation should try confronting the individuals spreading the rumors BUT not without a mediator, or at least a willing, impartial witness nearby. However -

    The OP's situation has progressed to a point where (based on the OP's post) her colleagues are literally endangering her license by prompting her patients to complain about her. It could be so bad that even her managers may have been poisoned against her.

    If more than half the night shift have (legit or "whatever") issues with the OP, can the OP realistically salvage the situation, especially if most of the issues are "whatever" issues?

    Can someone realistically reason with colleagues who can not put aside personal issues in favor of patient care? Yes, there are stories of people "resolving" issues with co-workers, but the peace tends to be short-lived.
  2. by   OrganizedChaos
    Quote from DTWriter
    In regards to the OP's case:

    Usually, a person in a similar situation as the OP's situation should try confronting the individuals spreading the rumors BUT not without a mediator, or at least a willing, impartial witness nearby. However -

    The OP's situation has progressed to a point where (based on the OP's post) her colleagues are literally endangering her license by prompting her patients to complain about her. It could be so bad that even her managers may have been poisoned against her.

    If more than half the night shift have (legit or "whatever") issues with the OP, can the OP realistically salvage the situation, especially if most of the issues are "whatever" issues?

    Can someone realistically reason with colleagues who can not put aside personal issues in favor of patient care? Yes, there are stories of people "resolving" issues with co-workers, but the peace tends to be short-lived.
    If it really is that bad for the OP (I don't believe everything brought to the Internet table since we only get 1 side) then of course there is no salvaging her job there. But the OP isn't completely blameless.

    She never once had a sit down with anyone to stop nor did she even try to be at the very least cordial with them & she isn't a team member at all. What do you think will happen if the OP gets a new job & keeps acting this way?
  3. by   JayDee87
    I don't see anything wrong with not talking to others on a personal level. You are there to work and talking to your colleagues about strictly work related matters only is NOT unprofessional. I think it is more important for the group to welcome you and help you get comfortable with the unit than it is for you to get in their clique. I have been a nurse for many years and have precepted many nurses in my career. My main goal when a new nurse comes in is to help them get acquainted with the floor as fast as possible. If they are new grad, I want them to be comfortable with taking care of patients and be confident in the care they are giving. I want to provide support so that they can stand on their own feet. Cliques are the least of my worries. The better these new nurses feel about their jobs, the less turn over we will have, and the better staffed the unit will be. I don't see any issue as long as you take care of your patients well, act professional in the workplace, and treat everyone with respect. I am very busy at work and I don't have time for coworker drama. Some like to talk and some don't, nothing wrong with either one. With that being said, I can confidently say I am well liked by my colleagues. We have a very good unit and a very good team. Not because I am on top of the new gossip, or I ask my colleagues about their personal lives. It is because of how I treat them. When I ask for help, I ask in the kindest, nicest way I can. I compliment my CNAs when they did a great job with something. I tell my patients when they come to the floor that they are in great hands under so-n-so's care. I thank them every after shift for their hard work. I recognize them through a written note to management when they do something extraordinary. When they do something wrong, I talk to them directly and in private. I've had instances when a CNA yelled at me in front of the patient. That is unprofessional I don't tolerate such behaviors. I talk to them and if it not resolved, I bring it to the manager. I offer my help whenever I can. I educate my CNAs about why we do certain things (ex don't give ice cream because he's diabetic and the sugar is high right now). If they don't follow my instructions, I make sure they understand the repercussions on the patient's health. Yes, I've had to deal with CNAs who are "divas" and I've worked with difficult people, but I've always been able to get through them and delegate tasks that I need them to do. Just kill them with kindness, act professional, but never ever tolerate a bad behavior.
    Last edit by JayDee87 on Jul 16
  4. by   silasozzie
    being bullied has nothing to do with being a new grad. I've nursed for 30 yrs this year and I get bullied by mangaement all the time.
  5. by   OrganizedChaos
    Quote from JayDee87
    I don't see anything wrong with not talking to others on a personal level. You are there to work and talking to your colleagues about strictly work related matters only is NOT unprofessional. I think it is more important for the group to welcome you and help you get comfortable with the unit than it is for you to get in their clique. I have been a nurse for many years and have precepted many nurses in my career. My main goal when a new nurse comes in is to help them get acquainted with the floor as fast as possible. If they are new grad, I want them to be comfortable with taking care of patients and be confident in the care they are giving. I want to provide support so that they can stand on their own feet. Cliques are the least of my worries. The better these new nurses feel about their jobs, the less turn over we will have, and the better staffed the unit will be. I don't see any issue as long as you take care of your patients well, act professional in the workplace, and treat everyone with respect. I am very busy at work and I don't have time for coworker drama. Some like to talk and some don't, nothing wrong with either one. With that being said, I can confidently say I am well liked by my colleagues. We have a very good unit and a very good team. Not because I am on top of the new gossip, or I ask my colleagues about their personal lives. It is because of how I treat them. When I ask for help, I ask in the kindest, nicest way I can. I compliment my CNAs when they did a great job with something. I tell my patients when they come to the floor that they are in great hands under so-n-so's care. I thank them every after shift for their hard work. I recognize them through a written note to management when they do something extraordinary. When they do something wrong, I talk to them directly and in private. I've had instances when a CNA yelled at me in front of the patient. That is unprofessional I don't tolerate such behaviors. I talk to them and if it not resolved, I bring it to the manager. I offer my help whenever I can. I educate my CNAs about why we do certain things (ex don't give ice cream because he's diabetic and the sugar is high right now). If they don't follow my instructions, I make sure they understand the repercussions on the patient's health. Yes, I've had to deal with CNAs who are "divas" and I've worked with difficult people, but I've always been able to get through them and delegate tasks that I need them to do. Just kill them with kindness, act professional, but never ever tolerate a bad behavior.
    I don't think you have to get along with coworkers on a personal level, but making small talk does help.

    How can the unit welcome her in if she never gave them a chance? She admits to be an introvert & never talking to them. If she closed herself off to her unit, then she made it mighty difficult for herself from the beginning.

    She doesn't have to join a "clique" (I hate that word). But it does help to at least be friendly towards one another & in her OP she doesn't exactly come across that way. I also doubt there is a "clique". I'm sure everyone is already comfortable & knows each other, she just is the new kid. She never tried to introduce herself or warmed up to them.

    How will things be any different if she gets a new job? She was run over by the CNA (which was wrong) but she never said anything. She never confronted the CNA & told her the behavior was wrong. If the OP gets a new job, there might be another CNA that will use her as a door mat.
    If the OP didn't start out with a great impression on her coworkers, unless she changes, she won't start out on a good foot with her next job.
  6. by   JKL33
    Quote from OrganizedChaos
    She doesn't have to join a "clique" (I hate that word). But it does help to at least be friendly towards one another & in her OP she doesn't exactly come across that way. I also doubt there is a "clique". I'm sure everyone is already comfortable & knows each other, she just is the new kid. She never tried to introduce herself or warmed up to them.
    Hey OC -

    Agree with your thought that one has to at least be willing to stretch out of the comfort zone in order to not give an impression of rejecting people. This is a skill that introverts and "quietly anxious" nurses should learn in hopes of preventing a problem like the OP. I agree with you that it's likely to repeat if it's not recognized and no efforts are undertaken to rectify it.

    I'm sincerely curious about your feelings re: clique. Is it that you think it's most often used inappropriately/misapplied, or you don't like the sound of it, or you don't think they exist?

    My example is that I hate hearing about nursing "burnout". I hate that people are quick to call a nurse "burned out" just because s/he reports being fed up with BS. I hate the word as it is thrown around in our profession and good people are accused of "burnout", or worse - may assume they themselves are "burned out" rather than, say, disappointed about the problems that plague Nursing. I think burnout exists, but that the word is misapplied a great deal of the time. So...do share what sets you off about "clique"...
  7. by   OrganizedChaos
    Quote from JKL33
    Hey OC -

    Agree with your thought that one has to at least be willing to stretch out of the comfort zone in order to not give an impression of rejecting people. This is a skill that introverts and "quietly anxious" nurses should learn in hopes of preventing a problem like the OP. I agree with you that it's likely to repeat if it's not recognized and no efforts are undertaken to rectify it.

    I'm sincerely curious about your feelings re: clique. Is it that you think it's most often used inappropriately/misapplied, or you don't like the sound of it, or you don't think they exist?

    My example is that I hate hearing about nursing "burnout". I hate that people are quick to call a nurse "burned out" just because s/he reports being fed up with BS. I hate the word as it is thrown around in our profession and good people are accused of "burnout", or worse - may assume they themselves are "burned out" rather than, say, disappointed about the problems that plague Nursing. I think burnout exists, but that the word is misapplied a great deal of the time. So...do share what sets you off about "clique"...
    I think I just don't like how it was used in this context. How was it was "clique"? Just because they all got along? I don't think that makes them a "clique". She never gave them a chance to get to get to know her & made it very easy to not like her. If someone is going isn't going to even say hello to me, change their schedule to avoid me, won't help me but want me to help them; yeah, my hackles will be raised.

    I just don't agree that they're a "clique". Of course that shift all get along, they have worked together for awhile. She is a new grad & new to the floor so she had to prove herself. Instead of doing that she just made her work life difficult by shunning her coworkers.

    But this is just my opinion.
  8. by   futurepsychrn
    I agree with the OP. First job out of nursing school, the good ole boy system was in full force. The nurses that had been there 10+ years had their way of doing things and if you chose to defy them you were out plain and simple. The floor director was new to her position and I give her kudos for trying, however because we were so short staffed she was trying not to tick off the long-term nurses before she could find replacements. Understandable. I tried the chain of command, clear up to the DON in the hospital. Know what that got me? The reputation of being a tattletale. I went to her twice! I never saw her, because I worked midnight. The final straw came the night the charge nurse whispered to everyone(in a voice loud enough I could hear mind you), not to say anything to me because I told the floir director everything that was said. Not even close! If that were true they all would have been disciplined long before that! I did my 12 hour shift with people only speaking to me when "absolutely necessary" from nurses to PCT's, went home, called the DON and resigned that morning. I'm not in high school and refuse to play high school clique games. I also refuse to gossip about every single person behind their back and be nice to their face. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, bullying is alive and well. My mental health is worth much much more than a job.
    Last edit by futurepsychrn on Jul 17 : Reason: Spelling
  9. by   OrganizedChaos
    Quote from futurepsychrn
    I agree with the OP. First job out of nursing school, the good ole boy system was in full force. The nurses that had been there 10+ years had their way of doing things and if you chose to defy them you were out plain and simple. The floor director was new to her position and I give her kudos for trying, however because we were so short staffed she was trying not to tick off the long-term nurses before she could find replacements. Understandable. I tried the chain of command, clear up to the DON in the hospital. Know what that got me? The reputation of being a tattletale. I went to her twice! I never saw her, because I worked midnight. The final straw came the night the charge nurse whispered to everyone(in a voice loud enough I could hear mind you), not to say anything to me because I told the floir director everything that was said. Not even close! If that were true they all would have been disciplined long before that! I did my 12 hour shift with people only speaking to me when "absolutely necessary" from nurses to PCT's, went home, called the DON and resigned that morning. I'm not in high school and refuse to play high school clique games. I also refuse to gossip about every single person behind their back and be nice to their face. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, bullying is alive and well. My mental health is worth much much more than a job.
    Agree with the OP how? She has no back bone & never even talked to her coworkers! She alienated herself from them. You two have two completely different stories. She aided into her demise.
  10. by   JKL33
    RE: Clique

    Quote from OrganizedChaos
    I think I just don't like how it was used in this context. How was it was "clique"? Just because they all got along? I don't think that makes them a "clique". She never gave them a chance to get to get to know her & made it very easy to not like her. If someone is going isn't going to even say hello to me, change their schedule to avoid me, won't help me but want me to help them; yeah, my hackles will be raised.

    I just don't agree that they're a "clique". Of course that shift all get along, they have worked together for awhile. She is a new grad & new to the floor so she had to prove herself. Instead of doing that she just made her work life difficult by shunning her coworkers.

    But this is just my opinion.
    Fair enough! Thanks for answering.

    Perhaps I need to let the "Ice Cream Incident" go, LOL Honestly, that inflamed me so much when I read it that I had (and to some extent still have) a hard time not seeing this situation as clique-y for the fact that it seems like some collusion was at play. The whispering...perhaps not actually clique-y, but pretty immature.

    KWIM? They didn't just "fall into" that ice cream request by accident because they are so nice and helpful with her patients . Okay....let me re-phrase: I find it very coincidental that they ended up in her patient's room and just so happened to give the ice cream she said the patient couldn't have.

    Anyway - this discussion all put together has brought up a real scenario and portrayed both sides of it quite well. Serves as a pretty good cautionary tale for those who might not understand how important it is to start off on a good foot and do one's part to build appropriate work relationships!
  11. by   OrganizedChaos
    Quote from JKL33
    RE: Clique



    Fair enough! Thanks for answering.

    Perhaps I need to let the "Ice Cream Incident" go, LOL Honestly, that inflamed me so much when I read it that I had (and to some extent still have) a hard time not seeing this situation as clique-y for the fact that it seems like some collusion was at play. The whispering...perhaps not actually clique-y, but pretty immature.

    KWIM? They didn't just "fall into" that ice cream request by accident because they are so nice and helpful with her patients . Okay....let me re-phrase: I find it very coincidental that they ended up in her patient's room and just so happened to give the ice cream she said the patient couldn't have.

    Anyway - this discussion all put together has brought up a real scenario and portrayed both sides of it quite well. Serves as a pretty good cautionary tale for those who might not understand how important it is to start off on a good foot and do one's part to build appropriate work relationships!
    The OP stated that wasn't the CNA's patient. So if someone else comes in & asks me what I want, I'm gonna tell them what I want. Lol. The CNA didn't know (& neither do we) why the patient couldn't have ice cream. The CNA didn't ask the OP if the patient could or couldn't have ice cream.

    If the OP saw her patient had ice cream, why didn't she confront the CNA? Holding everything inside isn't good. She really needs to confront her coworkers when they do something wrong, especially the CNAs. I don't think the CNA was honestly going out of his/her way to mess with the OP. Is it wrong that the CNA gave the patient ice cream when the patient shouldn't have had any? Yes. But we don't know the full story. Were there signs? Was the patient completely NPO? Was there anything alerting the CNA to ask the OP to ask if the patient could have ice cream? If not, I would probably give him ice cream too. It's a simple request, not something I would think twice about.

    As far as the whispering behind the OP's back, everyone talks behind everyone's back. She just has to grow a thicker skin. If she doesn't well, her nursing career will be short lived. How did she make it out of high school?

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