I would like to hear from other nurses about effective ways to handle people who are nasty, have friends who back them up who are also mean, and use the system to make my life a misery at times. I find the trends are changing and that the hospital doesn't want this type of behavior and yet they have loopholes in the system that allow for this to happen. I want to say too that for the most part, I would say the nurses I work with are great. There are just one or two mean people and the few times I've had to work with them alone, my night has been a nightmare and I don't know how to handle it.
Things I've tried so far that have been a total fail and why:
1. Go my direct supervisor: Yes, they agreed this was wrong and dealt with it. But....friends of the bully came out of the woodwork and falsely accused me of things. They also wrote me up over ridiculous accusations in which the management threw it in the garbage. It doesn't matter. The purpose of the attack was to sting me. It worked.
2. Talk to the bully: Bullies have more excuses for being bullies than one can imagine. My personal favorite is the one that says they were born this way. Hmmmm.
The other is that in their country they are all bullies. I can't believe how many other nurses buy this one hook, line and sinker as though it is normal. What is wrong with these people? So now if you want to be a bully, you can by just being born in said country? At any rate, it doesn't work because at this point, the bully says they will no longer support me at work. Bully also starts spreading hateful rumors in which I said publicly something I never said. This causes young nurses to actually believe this ridiculousness and to talk to me in a demeaning way about my need to learn how to talk.
3. Be nice back to bully instead of reacting: This seems to communicate a roll over and take it mentality. I think this makes matters worse. It's like they establish their superior position so that I find myself being pushed around in the wake of their domination. This causes me to preform nursing actions their way instead of the way I want to do them. I'm not saying those things are wrong necessarily. They are just not the way I would have done them and that bothers me. There are reasons we do things the way we do ie. use a particular type of taping method just for example.
4. Say or do nothing: It keeps the thing going.
Things I haven't tried for fear they will make matters worse:
1. Go up the chain of command to the next level of authority: I am afraid that this will tick off my supervisors and I will be out a job.
If ANYONE has found a way to deal with these wonderful folks, I would REALLY like to hear from you. Help!! I don't think that in this day and time, this junk should be tolerated and yet, it is. Thanks for any advice. I am really looking forward to hearing from someone out there that has found an answer. My biggest concern is that one day they are going to get me fired by either too many accusations and write ups or through bullying me into a way of doing things that ends up being the wrong way.