Bully?! Help,I need good comebacks! - page 3

I just started working PRN at an urgent care. Im an RN and there is usually only one nurse on duty (me) , a rad tech, lab, doc and front desk. We are usually busy..Lately, I noticed one of the rad... Read More

  1. Visit  Ruby Vee} profile page
    1
    Quote from rn865
    i just started working prn at an urgent care. im an rn and there is usually only one nurse on duty (me) , a rad tech, lab, doc and front desk. we are usually busy..lately, i noticed one of the rad techs keep telling me to put patients in a gown so she can do the chest x-ray. now, im new so i'm not sure of how they really do things there, but the other rad tech never asks me that, she gets it herself.

    of course i don't mind doing that to help her when she's busy but the thing is, i'm the one always busy since i see all patients and she only sees people who need x-ray. i'm mostly in patients' room so i'm not usually the first person the doctor tells if he needs an x-ray (especially chest, since it's not as predictable as extremity injuries) and so it creates a delay because she waits for me to put patients in a gown. really?!

    i asked another nurse and he said that is part of their job. we can help, sure, but they shouldn't be waiting for us to go get the gowns. apparently, he never gets asked to do that, just me. so now i'm thinking, i might be getting bullied for being new. i really need good comebacks the next time she orders me to do something she should be doing. i'm young and kinda shy and is such an easy target for these, i admit. please help! i love this job so far and i don't want to lose it.
    that doesn't sound like a bully, and you don't need a "comeback." just a simple, direct "the gowns are over here, and i'll be over there if you can't manage."
    wooh likes this.
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  3. Visit  Sacred eagle} profile page
    0
    Have you considered that maybe you are the bully? If a patientneeds a chest X-ray or anabdomen x ray, how were theyexamined,with their street clotheson? They should have changed inthe examining room Before theywere seen and Before an X-ray wasordered. X-ray departments,particularly at urgent care centers Don't have dressing rooms.
  4. Visit  rn865} profile page
    0
    I suppose I failed to mention the snide comments she does especially around other people, which to me is a form of bullying. Mostly personal ones, example, our ID has a BIG RN on it. And one time she goes, "Wow, they really put a big sign on your ID so people know you are the nurse. I guess that helps because you look like you're 12. " If it was meant to be funny, none of our other coworkers were laughing. It was a big awkward moment. And that's not all. I guess this is an example of what I meant when I asked for comebacks. I try not to let it get to me, the big issue I have is the delay in patient care because she wants to wait for me to do part of her job. She's the only tech who orders me to do that. And I'm the only nurse she does it to.
  5. Visit  rn865} profile page
    0
    Quote from Sacred eagle
    Have you considered that maybe you are the bully? If a patientneeds a chest X-ray or anabdomen x ray, how were theyexamined,with their street clotheson? They should have changed inthe examining room Before theywere seen and Before an X-ray wasordered. X-ray departments,particularly at urgent care centers Don't have dressing rooms.
    As far as I have seen in this urgent care, and where I work at full time, patients are not changed into gowns unless they need an x-ray. Chest x-rays are not as easy to predict as, say, an ankle or hand injury. I've come across patients who I expect needs a chest x-ray and the doctor doesn't order one. It would be pointless to change everyone with a cough into a gown.

    But thank you, for giving me an insight to a different way of thinking. It helps to have objective people.

    To be sure, I also asked the manager if the patient usually changes in the room or the x-ray room, and she said the x-ray room. The x-ray room is a the very end of the hall and if you walk in a gown, you will be in plain view of everyone. I didn't mention though that Ms RT is ordering me to do it each and every time.
  6. Visit  rn865} profile page
    0
    Thank you for everyone's advice. I can't wait to work with her again and see if she still does it. If she asks me one more time, like, "Can you put her in a gown?", I plan to just say, "Would you?" How does that sound? One poster is right, I'm not one who really makes smart and quick remarks, so I want to do just a plain, direct one.

    Thanks for that advice about googling assertiveness. I'm going to try that too.
  7. Visit  hiddencatRN} profile page
    1
    Quote from rn865
    Thank you for everyone's advice. I can't wait to work with her again and see if she still does it. If she asks me one more time, like, "Can you put her in a gown?", I plan to just say, "Would you?" How does that sound? One poster is right, I'm not one who really makes smart and quick remarks, so I want to do just a plain, direct one. Thanks for that advice about googling assertiveness. I'm going to try that too.
    And if she says no? I'd just say no the next time she asks and go about your business if you aren't going to have a conversation with her before it comes up.
    canoehead likes this.
  8. Visit  RNGriffin} profile page
    0
    Before refusing to do the task how about speaking with her first? This will make the transaction seem a little more professional, and a lot more clear in understanding. Simply saying "would you?" opens up the doors for inner workplace conflict. Lets face it, the two of you must work together and learn to get along. You want to be firm & direct, but also maintain your professionalism. It's not so much of what you say, but how you say it.
  9. Visit  canoehead} profile page
    1
    Just tell her you are swamped now, and can't get to it. This is a team situation, and she is part of the team. In an urgent care all she has to do is hand the gown to the patient, honestly, it's not a big imposition.

    Any other snide remarks, just pause, say "Wow, that was rude," and move on. If she huffs, explain that you found it hurtful and request that she stop saying those things.
    catlover314 likes this.
  10. Visit  wooh} profile page
    4
    THIS: Suicide of Ryan Halligan - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    is bullying. You're working with someone that is annoying and rude.
    nursel56, KelRN215, Meriwhen, and 1 other like this.
  11. Visit  not.done.yet} profile page
    0
    Never ask a yes or no question if you aren't prepared to deal with getting the answer you don't want.
  12. Visit  rn/writer} profile page
    4
    Quote from rn865
    Thank you for everyone's advice. I can't wait to work with her again and see if she still does it. If she asks me one more time, like, "Can you put her in a gown?", I plan to just say, "Would you?" How does that sound? One poster is right, I'm not one who really makes smart and quick remarks, so I want to do just a plain, direct one.

    Thanks for that advice about googling assertiveness. I'm going to try that too.
    To be painfully honest, this response sounds kind of childish, like you are tossing it back in her face and throwing down a challenge. This isn't about coming out on top in a power struggle. Or rather, it shouldn't be. As long as the question remains, "Who is tougher?" nothing is going to change.

    The only way to win is not to play.

    This is what I suggested earlier in the thread:

    . . . learn how to say what you want in a firm but non-emotional manner. "You know, Jane, I've helped you out with that in the past, but it's really your job to gown the patients." And just walk away. If she fusses, come back with another dose of reality. "It's part of your job, Jane."
    I wouldn't make a big deal out of being swamped. That implies that you'd do it if you weren't so busy. The truth is that you don't mind helping out once in awhile when everyone is busy, but you would be helping Jane with her job, not agreeing to be dumped on.

    Don't waste your time trying to convince her to stop acting this way. Don't try to justify why it's her job to gown the patients. Maybe once during the conversation you can point out the obvious, that the patients don't need to be parading around unnecessarily in patient gowns in front of other people, but that really isn't the important part of the issue.

    The crux of the matter is that Jane needs to do her job.

    So, when Jane asks you yet again, "Can you put her in a gown?" your answer should be, "That's part of your job, Jane," and walk away.

    One more thing. You've made this into something bigger than it needs to be. The behavior you've described isn't bullying so much as it's establishing a pecking order. This will happen no matter where you work and whom you work with. It's part of nature. We size each other up, even if we aren't aware that we're doing it. You've indicated to Jane that you have wishy-washy boundaries, and she is acting accordingly.

    It's time for you to step up in your own spirit, not to be mean or snippy or to put Jane in her place, but to establish your own internal boundaries, turn your focus back to the patients, and do your job. In this case, that means the patients need to wait until they are back in X-ray to gown. And that task belongs to Jane.

    You can't change Jane. You can only change your own thinking and decision making. Acknowledging this will give you strength (without making you mean-spirited).

    I hope you can learn this life lesson and put it to good use.
    Sugarcoma, catlover314, not.done.yet, and 1 other like this.
  13. Visit  catlover314} profile page
    1
    Agree that this is establishing a pecking order, not bullying. Agree with rn/writer "I wouldn't make a big deal out of being swamped. That implies that you'd do it if you weren't so busy. The truth is that you don't mind helping out once in awhile when everyone is busy, but you would be helping Jane with her job, not agreeing to be dumped on.

    Don't waste your time trying to convince her to stop acting this way. Don't try to justify why it's her job to gown the patients. Maybe once during the conversation you can point out the obvious, that the patients don't need to be parading around unnecessarily in patient gowns in front of other people, but that really isn't the important part of the issue.

    The crux of the matter is that Jane needs to do her job.

    So, when Jane asks you yet again, "Can you put her in a gown?" your answer should be, "That's part of your job, Jane," and walk away."

    The other stuff? Agree with canoehead "Any other snide remarks, just pause, say "Wow, that was rude," and move on. If she huffs, explain that you found it hurtful and request that she stop saying those things." I've used something along that line before "That sounded rude...did you mean to insult me just then?" but the tone has to be factual, not angry or defensive.

    Just as the tech has to be held accountable for her actions, you have to account for yours. If you don't let her know that you expect her to do her job, you will continue to allow her behavior.
    interceptinglight likes this.


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