"Nurses are so Mean" - page 10

I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." ... Read More

  1. Visit  blueheaven profile page
    0
    I do agree with quite a bit of your post. When I was young and stupid, I worked OT everytime it came down the way, was on every unit based committee known to man and just generally busted my butt for my employer (at that time). Erroneously thinking in my immature way that somehow my employer would have the same loyalty to me. It took a life threatening illness, being off work on SL for almost 4 months and getting canned one month after I returned to work for me to see the error of my ways.

    The combined stress of 2 very young children, a crazy workplace environment, and a crazy family environment almost put me in the grave.

    It is a shame that my nursing curriculum did not include self care strategies, limit setting etc. All of these things I have had to learn on my own and with professional help.
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  3. Visit  nursel56 profile page
    1
    Quote from Grapenut
    [SIZE=3]. . .I agree with your point that if everywhere you go you get treated with some degree of hostility, maybe you need to take a longer, harder look at yourself. But that’s not to say that bullying doesn’t happen in nursing. When I graduated, I worked PRN on a med-surg unit as there were no full-time positions at the time. The first full-time position that came open was on a different med-surg floor than the one I was working on. The floor where I was working PRN was great. My nurse manager was very supportive. . .
    I've worked in both types of units also, and the first 10 years of my career were mostly with the supportive type. Then I was hired for a job with the toxic/mean/bullying type. I'm convinced it is the manager who creates the good and the bad. I've seen good people change when in the presence of the bad as they wish to curry favor and avoid becoming a target themselves. It was disappointing as h** to see it happen, but when a person truly needs that job to put food on the table, they will compromise their internal values. If ever I worked with those same people and the dysfunctional ringleader was off that day, it was as if the sun came out from behind the clouds for a little while.

    Quote from notnursinganymore
    I wish I could agree with this article as it appears most others have however I really cannot. I worked as a travel contract RN, agency RN, as well as a staff RN (BSN from TWU) for over ten years. I have been in everything from Home Health to administration, and specialized in critical care. And I can tell you most nurses are mean. It's not the norm they are not.
    I'm sorry you had that string of bad experiences, but to be fair to the many wonderful nurses I've worked with over the years, and to those who may be considering nursing, I feel your impression is skewed to the negative too much. One thing us older nurses have been blessed with that new nurses may not be anymore, was an incredibly wide vista of opportunities to change the place, the manner, and the specialty of our daily job without leaving our career altogether. When I could handle a lot of stress and crazy hours I worked in a hospital with high acuity patients. When I needed more normal hours I moved to ambulatory care and worked several specialty areas within that. When I wanted to return to bedside but not be overwhelmed I went into home health/private duty nursing.

    In all of those there were the "devils" and the "angels". Most were somewhere in between. I have been stabbed in the back by people who I thought were my job-friends. I learned that for most people working together it is job first, friend later. It doesn't make them all evil people. My daughter is considering her options now - probably wants PT but open to other jobs - maybe even nursing. I won't sugarcoat anything, but I don't feel I have the right to convince another person to stay out of the field because of my own personal experiences whatever they were.
    talaxandra likes this.
  4. Visit  notnursinganymore profile page
    1
    Hello Nurse 156,

    I agree with your message. And yes, there were moments of working with 'angel' nurses for whom I am surely grateful. If only all nurses were such. It doesn't negate the fact however, that many of the circumstances (most) were in fact not good, and had nothing to do with me. I've had five years out of nursing to sort that through. In fact, one hospital in Rhode Island where I completed a 12 week travel contract was known as a "h*ll hole" by other travelers, yet I was asked by my supervisor on my assigned unit to train oncoming contract nurses and begged to return by the techs. I know I was a good and kind nurse. Yet, it was common to be moved to two different units during a shift, and sometimes three. Multiply that stress with critical patients for each move. Unfortunately, the scales do tip on the negative side after all is said and done as to working as a nurse, which is my point. For the most part I believe most nurses go into the field with the right intentions. And diversification in the field is surely one of the lures into it. I also worked as a home health liason as well as a home health nurse, and in telemedicine, outpatient clinics, and the like to stay in the field yet to get away from the hospital stress. My widowed sister, whose husband she lost at 45 years due to the high stress and long hours (and obligation to get food on the table for a family) is an RN herself and worked most of her years in administration. She has many horror stories of her own, including the lying and deceit that goes with it to "curry" management. It is not my intention to persuade a potential nurse negatively away from the field. It is my mission if you will, in my retired status as a tribute to the service and life work my family and I contributed, to give a clear and honest recount on real life experiences for what could happen again to someone else. By doing so, it is a most generous offering of self to help someone else decide if they would want to be in a similar situation one day.
    Last edit by notnursinganymore on Jan 7, '11 : Reason: changed word same to similar
    nursel56 likes this.
  5. Visit  vikki03,RN profile page
    1
    WOW!! Great article!! This is soooo true! Nurses are people, too!! We DO have bad days, nights, weeks, or even months!
    I was recently in a situation where I was the "mean" nurse. I had what was an unusul night at my LTC facility.......We got in two admissions at the exact same time (not kidding) and the nurse I usually work with was off, so I was *ahem* stuck with a nurse that was not -how do I say this nicely?- competent in doing her job. This other nurse did nothing to help me with either admission or any of the other tasks we do on midnight shift, but her email was fascinating reading!

    In the morning, during report, an STNA asked if all the dayshift staff was there and, I'll admit, I spoke sharply to her when I told her to look for herself and see. After all that I had done in the previous 12 hours (not just the admissions, but the required hand holding and questions-answering from the above mentioned nurse), I really just wanted to finish report and go home to bed (night 1 of 3 in a row). She felt that I had been "mean" to her and, as she left, she told another STNA as much and in not very nice words.

    I was mean. I was horrible. How dare I speak to her like that?!? Oh, the horror!!! and blah, blah, blah! And let me just say this- the other nurse was NOT new-to the job or the facility. She had been there longer than I had at that time.

    So maybe I am a mean nurse. But sometimes, you just have to be.

    "Be nice. Be nice, until it is time to not be nice."-Dalton, Road House
    greenfiremajick likes this.
  6. Visit  rnccf2007 profile page
    1
    I wish I had a dollar for every nurse like you. I am sick of working 12+ hour days with one 5 minute break. No reason for you to not try to help new nurses and say their complaints are unsubstantiated.
    Last edit by dianah on Jan 12, '11 : Reason: TOS
  7. Visit  rnccf2007 profile page
    1
    And blah, blah, blah about 2 admissions; try 4 on a day shift in critical care. Have to put in an IV or PICC, one patient decanulates themselves, another has the audacity to initiate a code blue. This is part of the job. We appreciate our nursing assistants and at times all staff gets short with each other, but we also have respect for each other. I work 12 hour shifts with barely a break, but I still treat my co-workers and patients with respect. And if thet suffer because my husband cheated on me or my dog barfed on my shoes last night..I would rue the day I became a nurse.
  8. Visit  rnccf2007 profile page
    1
    WOW!! Great article!! This is soooo true! Nurses are people, too!! We DO have bad days, nights, weeks, or even months!
    I was recently in a situation where I was the "mean" nurse. I had what was an unusul night at my LTC facility.......We got in two admissions at the exact same time (not kidding) and the nurse I usually work with was off, so I was *ahem* stuck with a nurse that was not -how do I say this nicely?- competent in doing her job. This other nurse did nothing to help me with either admission or any of the other tasks we do on midnight shift, but her email was fascinating reading!

    In the morning, during report, an STNA asked if all the dayshift staff was there and, I'll admit, I spoke sharply to her when I told her to look for herself and see. After all that I had done in the previous 12 hours (not just the admissions, but the required hand holding and questions-answering from the above mentioned nurse), I really just wanted to finish report and go home to bed (night 1 of 3 in a row). She felt that I had been "mean" to her and, as she left, she told another STNA as much and in not very nice words.

    I was mean. I was horrible. How dare I speak to her like that?!? Oh, the horror!!! and blah, blah, blah! And let me just say this- the other nurse was NOT new-to the job or the facility. She had been there longer than I had at that time.

    So maybe I am a mean nurse. But sometimes, you just have to be.

    And, sorry I have to respond again. Yes, nurses are people and so are STNAs. I have to wonder why you took your aggression against the STNA and not the other nurse. Power? The stress of nursing can overwhelm most nurses that I know, but we usually drive home and think about the care we would like to give/r/t the care we actually gave r/t short staffing, cut backs, etc. NOT about being a "mean nurse." But then again..."sometimes, you just have to be."
    Last edit by dianah on Jan 12, '11 : Reason: TOS, pm to member
  9. Visit  caroladybelle profile page
    0
    Please remember the TOS people.
    Last edit by caroladybelle on Jan 12, '11
  10. Visit  vikki03,RN profile page
    1
    rnccf2007- In response to both of your previous posts, I only ask that you re-read my original post.
    I work in long term care. 2 admissions a day (or a week) is unususal, but to have 2 on night shift on the same night, at the same time is practically unheard of. As for the questions of the other nurse, she was NOT new. She had been there three months longer than I had been at the time and I have been there for 3 years.
    LockportRN likes this.
  11. Visit  vikki03,RN profile page
    0
    WOW! I seem to have offended someone. I have to say this- YOU do not know me, nor do you work with me. This is ONE situation on ONE night that everything seemed to go to hades. I will do anything for anyone at any time. I was an STNA. I know what that is like and to have nasty nurses treat me like poo. I did not take anything out on her. I fully admit I spoke sharply. It was one sentence, not a tirade, as you make it sound. I am the charge nurse in a 67 bed facility where, on night shift, I am solely responsible for 34 of my own residents, the issues requiring an RN for the other 33, and 5 staff members.
    I have never worked critical care. I do not know what you do nor would I even attempt to try to judge you or your attitude regarding that area of practice. By that same token, have you worked in LTC, on nights, as the charge nurse where you are ultimately responsible for 72 other people? You do not know what my job entails, as I could not even begin to understand yours-- until I have walked in your shoes.
    Last edit by Silverdragon102 on Jan 12, '11 : Reason: pm to member
  12. Visit  dianah profile page
    0
    please discuss the issue at hand, without personal attacks or comments, insults or flaming.
    several posts have been edited to comply with the terms of service.

    per the terms of service:

    debates
    we promote the idea of lively debate. this means you are free to disagree with anyone on any type of subject matter as long as your criticism is constructive and polite.
    personal attacks

    our first priority is to the members that have come here because of the flame-free atmosphere we provide. there is a zero-tolerance policy here against personal attacks. we will not tolerate anyone insulting another individual's opinion nor name calling and will ban repeat offenders.


    if you feel a post violates the terms of service please report that post rather than engaging the member.

    thank you.
  13. Visit  mildlycodependentrn profile page
    1
    I am sure this opinion is not going to be well received but I don't care. Nursing is my second career and when I was going to nursing school I used to use words like Nobel when talking about nurses and I got some looks from other nurses I knew that no longer worked as nurses but they didn't explain. Now I know. I also know why people put themselves through the agony of nursing school and then decide within a year to never work as a nurse again. I don't know if being in the south east has anything to do with it but I have never in my life encountered such predatory women any where else in the country. It isn't just being snappy or impolite it is planning and plotting cruelty and trying to get people's licenses taken away or have people fired or other wise ruin lives. This is entertainment for these women. The mean girls in high school have nothing on these women and a few men. Also forget getting into any area besides med/surg unless you are young and attractive or a man. I worked in a high stress job before being a nurse and would gladly go back right now if the economy was better. It shows in this area of the country that codependent people are attracted to nursing and I also understand why so many nurses have substance abuse problems. These people don't go after everyone because they have to suck up to some and intimidate others so they "mind there own business" so they can have a group to cut the weak one out of the heard so the rest can bully and harrass one for the entertainment of the rest. The worst part of it all is that the worst offenders are usually made management because they are so sick that they are such two faced conartists. In this day and age when our society is so appauld and suprised at all the bullying in our schools and can't figure out where it is coming from I am not suprised at all. Companies pay lip service to the idea of zero tolerance for work place violence or harrassment but they will fire the victim that makes a complaint in a minute and promote the offender right after they make them employee of the month. I really hope these things aren't going on in other areas of the country as bad as they are here but I am afraid that that is a nieve hope on my part.
  14. Visit  joanna73 profile page
    1
    I think it really depends on where you are. I am a recent grad and the nurses where I work seem like nice, decent people. Sure, they all have their own personalities, but they have been very helpful. Nursing is also my second career, and I have learned not to allow miserable people bother me. I think the larger issue is partially systemic. Nurses are overworked in many facilities, afraid of losing their jobs, and budget cuts are rampant. As a result, we sometimes take out our stress on each other. Maybe I have been fortunate. I am aware that for many people here, their environments may be toxic. Even in nursing school I was pretty lucky with decent instructors. I can say that other professions can be just as toxic at times, based on my experiences. That's why I switched to nursing. I also think part of the issue arises from too many hormonal women


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