Male Nurse Interactions

Nurses Men

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Here's the issue:

I've come into situations where some women aren't comfortable with a male nurse. An example would be during my OB rotation, I cared for a woman for ten hours and at the moment of labor I wasn't allowed to witness it. I was the only nursing student who never witnessed a live birth. My issue with this is why am I not allowed to do things that other male health professionals can, such as doctors? Am I not educated enough or professional enough? What should I do when I get a patient who isn't comfortable around me, without sounding snooty or petty? Do I try to convince them that I'm a professional or do I just go on my way?

Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

I hear your frustration, but ultimately it was her birth so her choice, and your presence wasn't necessary for her care.

I'll give you my perspective as a 5x OB patient. I am one who's modest about stuff like that, to the extent that part of the reason I chose CNM groups for my care was so that I was guaranteed a woman would be the attending provider at push time (no male CNMs in any group in my area that I'm aware of). I know full well that male OBs, RNs, and students are professional...but I still feel more comfortable when my legs are apart and my lady parts in full view, and possibly being incontinent of stool, for the providers and nurses to be female. My husband was the only male in the room each time.

There are some women who are cool with a whole group of med or nursing students watching from the corner of the room, and there are some who will allow NOBODY extra in the delivery room--regardless of role or gender. And then there are some like me. I'm guessing that might have been the case with your patient also, if she was willing to have you in the room for the labor but not for the pushing and birth.

Again, I do hear your frustration. And I'm sure you would have been completely professional. But patient care is about the patient, not about the RN.

Did you only have the one opportunity?

With my first, about 11p the house supervisor (small rural hospital) rounded amd I couldn't have cared less. I did think about it for a nano second, I was he was male but it was fleeting. It WAS awkward for a moment when we ended up working together a couple of years down the road lol. I don't think he had any idea though.

I bet it had more to do with you being a male student versus a male nurse. I can see how you might have been perceived as just a guy in the room.

Male nurse here. There isn't much that you can do besides respect the patient's wishes and try to make accommodations. I've had plenty of little old ladies tell me they weren't comfortable with me helping them to the restroom. I don't argue or try to convince them that I'm a professional. I say "yes ma'am, I completely understand. Give me just a second and I'll find a female nurse or PCT to help you to the restroom." They don't have anything against you as a nurse. Some people are just a little more modest than others or have different beliefs.

On the flip side I've also seen them swoon.

HereIStand,

I understand what you're saying about patient care, and I suppose the least amount of males in the room the better, but it was frustrating because the doctor was male and she let all 5 other students except myself watch. I guess it's something I'll have to get used to if I ever decide to become an OB nurse. Thanks for the reply!

Libby,

That may have been it! I hope so at least. I'd rather the patients view me as a nurse instead of as some pervert guy. Thanks for the reply.

Male nurse here. There isn't much that you can do besides respect the patient's wishes and try to make accommodations. I've had plenty of little old ladies tell me they weren't comfortable with me helping them to the restroom. I don't argue or try to convince them that I'm a professional. I say "yes ma'am, I completely understand. Give me just a second and I'll find a female nurse or PCT to help you to the restroom." They don't have anything against you as a nurse. Some people are just a little more modest than others or have different beliefs.

That makes sense, I guess I'll just not take offense. I truly believe in patient care and being the best nurse I can be, so if the patient wants a different nurse I have no problem getting another nurse.

Here's the issue:

I've come into situations where some women aren't comfortable with a male nurse. An example would be during my OB rotation, I cared for a woman for ten hours and at the moment of labor I wasn't allowed to witness it. I was the only nursing student who never witnessed a live birth. My issue with this is why am I not allowed to do things that other male health professionals can, such as doctors? Am I not educated enough or professional enough? What should I do when I get a patient who isn't comfortable around me, without sounding snooty or petty? Do I try to convince them that I'm a professional or do I just go on my way?

Just go on your way. The only thing I see to gain is a sense of acceptance. I don't need acceptance that badly from those kinds of people. I've always gone on my way, and never had a problem with it.

Just go on your way. The only thing I see to gain is a sense of acceptance. I don't need acceptance that badly from those kinds of people. I've always gone on my way, and never had a problem with it.

Thanks. I was just really wondering if the standard was to try and talk about it politely like "May I ask why you don't believe in vaccines" or just tell them "ok" without question and walk away.

Thanks. I was just really wondering if the standard was to try and talk about it politely like "May I ask why you don't believe in vaccines" or just tell them "ok" without question and walk away.

No. The standard is to make the patient happy so when they get their HCAHPS survey they will mark it satisfactorily enough for your institution to get reimbursed as much as possible. The ultimate goal as a nurse, the way your employer sees it, is for you to prevent them from losing as much money as possible. That is what will keep you employed. It may sound cold and heartless and all that, but thems the facts as HR sees it.

Now, this may clash with your desire for acceptance, or your wish for "the best patient outcome", but step back a second...you will take care of that patient for what? A few days? A few months at the extreme max? I've never seen anyone change how they lived because of a hospital stay. Even my grandpa who had an MI. He lost 30# the first year out, and then gained it all back on years 2-3. That was a fear-reaction of his. Not something due to his hospital interaction. It still didn't "stick", and he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that HE COULD DIE. So if the threat of death won't fix it...I can promise that "debate" won't, either.

As to vaccines, determine if there is an allergy, and if not, I typically do not ask further beyond "would you like to know more about the vaccine?" If they say "no", then "no" it is. I am not going to unravel a lifetime of belief in a non-receptive patient.

Likewise, you will not change their beliefs about male nurses, over-eating, not working out, not taking meds, etc. either, I'm wagering.

Bottom line is MAKE THE PATIENT HAPPY---MAKE THE BOSS HAPPY---BE SAFE! DOCUMENT!

No. The standard is to make the patient happy so when they get their HCAHPS survey they will mark it satisfactorily enough for your institution to get reimbursed as much as possible. The ultimate goal as a nurse, the way your employer sees it, is for you to prevent them from losing as much money as possible. That is what will keep you employed. It may sound cold and heartless and all that, but thems the facts as HR sees it.

Now, this may clash with your desire for acceptance, or your wish for "the best patient outcome", but step back a second...you will take care of that patient for what? A few days? A few months at the extreme max? I've never seen anyone change how they lived because of a hospital stay. Even my grandpa who had an MI. He lost 30# the first year out, and then gained it all back on years 2-3. That was a fear-reaction of his. Not something due to his hospital interaction. It still didn't "stick", and he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that HE COULD DIE. So if the threat of death won't fix it...I can promise that "debate" won't, either.

As to vaccines, determine if there is an allergy, and if not, I typically do not ask further beyond "would you like to know more about the vaccine?" If they say "no", then "no" it is. I am not going to unravel a lifetime of belief in a non-receptive patient.

Likewise, you will not change their beliefs about male nurses, over-eating, not working out, not taking meds, etc. either, I'm wagering.

Bottom line is MAKE THE PATIENT HAPPY---MAKE THE BOSS HAPPY---BE SAFE! DOCUMENT!

Thanks. All good advice. I was just using the vaccine comment as an example. I suppose all this feedback has made it clear to not make waves and go on my way. Thanks everyone for the help and advice!

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