Dealing with female nursing students

KellNY, RN · Apr 14, 2007

Kevin,

I find myself needing to ask you what this has to do with their being female? It sounds like they're just a group of unhappy, vocal, attention seeking and/or jaded people. They don't complain due to the fact that they're female any more than you don't complain due to the fact that you're male.

They sound like somewhat toxic people, and maybe you should distance yourself from them if they don't bring anything positive to your mental/emotional plate. If you really do want to have a relationship with them and enjoy your time together, you could try changing the subject to something lighter?

Really want to get along with us women folk? Don't ask questions about how to "deal" with us.

krazykev · Apr 14, 2007

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it!

Kevin,
I find myself needing to ask you what this has to do with their being female? It sounds like they're just a group of unhappy, vocal, attention seeking and/or jaded people. They don't complain due to the fact that they're female any more than you don't complain due to the fact that you're male.
They sound like somewhat toxic people, and maybe you should distance yourself from them if they don't bring anything positive to your mental/emotional plate. If you really do want to have a relationship with them and enjoy your time together, you could try changing the subject to something lighter?
Really want to get along with us women folk? Don't ask questions about how to "deal" with us.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2007

Continue to set the example of quiet positivity and allow them to be who they are. Live and let live, take what you need and leave the rest. Let it go in one ear and out the other.

If you don't learn how to deal with it now you're going to continue to be frustrated because in a field as tough and demanding as nursing, we vent and we complain. Howver, you can't let it draw you in to the point you're unhappy, disillusioned and only looking around you listening and looking for negative people and perhaps becoming jaded and negative yourself. Seek positive people, be one, and if there are none at least seek out the neutral people. If there are none of those, then you're out of luck.

There's a difference between everyday negativity and venting and what the poster above describes as toxic whining and negativity.

Grace Oz · Apr 14, 2007

Ditto what Tweety said.

And ..... take frequent toilet breaks! :)

gitterbug · Apr 14, 2007

Agree with Tweety, say a little prayer to be a positive example to the other people you come into contact with each and every day. If you must distance yourself from the more toxic individuals then do it, but a prayer for them to be able to find some joy, peace, and happiness would be worth the breath saying it. I hope you have a blessed day, receive a ray of sunshine and joy today.

Lovely_RN, MSN · Apr 14, 2007

Distance is the only thing that works when you are dealing with negative people. I got really tired of dealing with the negativity of some of my classmates so these days I excuse myself and go "find" something else to do when they start. Some people just like to be miserable and they want you to be miserable with them. When they say something negative I will counter it with something positive, that usually shuts them up or drives them away to go find someone else who is just as miserable as they are. If you allow them to hold you captive by listening to their complaints or try to be sympathetic and agree with them they will take it as a sign that you approve of what they are saying and in essence you are encouraging them to be even more miserable.

P.S. I am not talking about people who are normally good natured and just venting. Even the most happy well-adjusted people have off days and need to vent sometimes. I am talking about people who are always in a funk. Nothing seems to go right for them from the time they crawl out of bed until their head hits their pillows at night.

I had one classmate (who was recently dismissed) who complained all day long! She could see the bad in every single scenario and spent way too much time complaining about school and not enough time actually doing her work or studying.

I came to class one day and said "Good morning" like I always do and you know what she snapped at me "Well, what's so good about it?" Then she proceeded to complain about everything from her commute to school (it was dreadfully long in her opinion) to our incompetent instructors, the fact that "they" gave us far to much work to do, and how much she regreted ever coming to this particular school because she could have had her pick of any school.

All of that and I had simply said "Good morning"

So I said, well it could have been worse.....like you could have not woken up at all!

She didn't like my response but I mean dang, some people are so negative they truly can suck the life out of a person.

gitterbug · Apr 14, 2007

Dear Falon:

Under the circumstances you have described, prayer and aerial spraying of Prozac might work wonders. LOL! I do wish you a happy weekend.

krazykev · Apr 14, 2007

I apologize if my post appears to be a slam against females

because it is not.

However, with being the only male in a class of female nursing students, I did not see any other way of seeking input for this

issue.

Finally, thanks for all of the wonderful insight. I appreciated it.

AirforceRN, RN · Apr 14, 2007

Krazykev...This may or may not be the issue but...

I have found that a lot of the people in my class whine/complain too. I think that it is due to age more than anything else. Most of the people are in their late teens and early twenties. Not that these folks complain a lot, but they are going through a brand new experience with college, are having a great deal of responsibility and demands thrust upon them and are still trying to figure out how to handle everything. One way to cope with this is to bounce ideas off of everybody else, which often times consists of complaining, seeking support and then attempting to figure a way to fix the problem. Being an older student, you are used to having demands and responsibilties, know how to cope with them and therefore don't need to engage in these behaviours. I don't mean to offend the younger students (I'm only 28 myself) but this is why I think this happens. I know I did it when I was that age. Any thoughts?

gitterbug · Apr 15, 2007

Hey Kev,

Sometimes you just have to let it go and call it like you see it. Hope you have better days ahead.

lpnguy26 · Apr 20, 2007

I'm a 25 y.o. guy in my second semester of a 2yr ADN program. Women are more talkative than men.....And all in class in the hear is my kids, my husband, my fiance, my diet, my neck, my back, my neck and my back, my tan. There is rarely a moment of silence. The lecture is 4 hours from 5-9 p.m.. They have even dragged a couple of guys into their web, This one guy, he's about 35 brings his newborn baby picture to class....the ladies went wild ooh the itty bitty baby....there went on an on an on........, nothing wrong with trading photos, but its like there making him one of the girls now, I have to suffer in silence when the women speak, they get upset when i smirk and grin because I Never give my 2 cents. Being a guy in the program will bring a lot of attention and dont be too one on one with the ladies, Speak and walk away, I have now been accused of having a girlfriend on every floor in the hospital which is flattering and donwright ridiculous. I love nursing school, lot of laughs, lots of women.