I was backstabbed

[RNSunny]

I currently work in an aged care facility from April 2009. When i first arrived in this workplace...I observed that other staff, especially the caregivers are observing what I do. One time during my 2nd month with them, I was informed by one caregiver that I was not liked in the place and that "she bloody does not know what she's doing..she should leave" was the statement.

Well, I just shrugged off what I heard...who knows what if that is really true. Afterall, I am not there to be liked or like them. Everyone else appears so nice at work but there are also stories of warnings. Other times, Caregivers would come to me and report that an RN "is not helpful at all"; "i don't want to work with that RN because she gives a hard time"; or that RN only "sits all the time and so we were late with completing our duties yesterday". All those sorts of thing. Hearing these I did not want to get involved at all. I think it is a danger zone! although, I commented that either deal with it or maybe go talk to the manager if they think it affects them.

It has been 8 months now since i worked in this place. Now, I just realised that I was backstabed. These same people who came to me saying loads of complaints about RNs in the last few months are the same people who did stabbed me at the back. How sad! They complained to the Nurse manager that i was giving them a hard time - what a load of bullocks I would say! Oh dear....Well, I had a meeting with my boss...but the saddest thing was....the Nurse manager favoured the caregivers and even suggested that maybe I need to change the way i approach caregivers ... "maybe call them 'sweetie' so they will do what u asked them to do". I listened to my boss with due respect during that meeting but is that a professional advice at all? There were some advice where I expressed my agreement with and took it positively.

It looked like the stories went around to most staff by words of mouth an I could see that the caregivers took their sides....but on the other end..I deemed not to be affected by all...because I am not there to be liked...I will stay to do things under my scope and keep my residents safe and be guided by my professional conduct as a nurse. I just learned to put on a thick mask especially in this type of environment.

Thank u for listening.

RNsunny

[Grace Oz]

Sorry you're experiencing this kind of immature behaviour in the workplace.

For anyone to suggest to you to call other workers "sweetie" is plain ridiculous!

Sometimes we all need to self evaluate and reassess how we're being perceived by others, and where necessary, make adjustments and changes.

There may be some areas in which you might need to assess yourself and how you approach others, none of us is perfect. We can only try to be the best we can be.

Sometimes there's no pleasing some people no matter what we do or how we conduct ourselves or approach others.

My policy was always always to NEVER be involved in or listen to or accommodate in any way, gossip .... EVER!

I hope the situation soon improves for you.

[RNSunny]

Sorry you're experiencing this kind of immature behaviour in the workplace.

For anyone to suggest to you to call other workers "sweetie" is plain ridiculous!

Sometimes we all need to self evaluate and reassess how we're being perceived by others, and where necessary, make adjustments and changes.

There may be some areas in which you might need to assess yourself and how you approach others, none of us is perfect. We can only try to be the best we can be.

Sometimes there's no pleasing some people no matter what we do or how we conduct ourselves or approach others.

My policy was always always to NEVER be involved in or listen to or accommodate in any way, gossip .... EVER!

I hope the situation soon improves for you.

Thank you Grace for a prompt response. I really felt bad but I took the comments from my boss positively. And yes i agree, as a first year RN I have loads of things or 'issues' that i need to understand and look at it positively to reassess and evaluate my communication skills improve myself.

I felt disappointed that other RNs in my workplace would manipulate others for their own interest. We have a policy for staff complaint but looked like anything goes to the manager straight away.

I came from Australia to NZ and I worked as an AIN in a reputable aged care facility and for the 3 years that I have been there, any issues were resolved fairly by staff themselves first before asking someone of a better position to mediate.

I agree with you.. never to get involved or listen to unhealthy conversation. My husband comforts me saying that I am still in the storming side of management...it will take time before I moved on to the next.

I felt good that someone is there. Thanks to allnurses.com.

[Sophia36]

I think it happens everywhere. I want to say 'ignore it' but I know how it is difficult. If there are caregivers who worked there for a long time, it is really natural thing.

If you are there still despite of their backstabing and show you are always the same(fair to everyone, try to help others and work as a team), you will be alright.

I think that those kind of behaviours come from the thoughts that they want to get respected from you or they are better than you.

However, once they accept you are nice and helpful, their bahaviour will be changed.

[ceridwyn]

I had the same problem, they even wrote in the notes that they were not happy with the RN, lucky I had got in first and made notes the the after hours GP had been asked for advice and had reiterated that the problem could wait until the reisdent was seen by her own GP. I had never in 30 years of nursing had anybody complain about me before in fact I was often given praise in being a team player. This was the first time I had tried aged care since pca's had been introduced and pca's that could only find fault in RN's since their introduction into the facility. I left because the manager did nothing but give them a talk about respect for the education of RN's. I got a job that I now enjoy most of the time for better money in community nursing.

[RNSunny]

Thank you fellas for sharing your opinions and experiences. I noticed that some caregivers who have been in the organisation for 10 Yrs++ are the ones showing such 'nasty' attitudes to others, and 3 new caregivers for the last few months that i was there had resigned because of these 'nastiness'. But yes, i have learned not to let these kind of people play their cards on me...true enough from what others always say, to "watch your back". I began doing that and being assertive at every opportunity.

cheers all!

[JanisM]

I have noticed similar situations during my placements in aged care. I try to ignore them, but it's a bit hard when you're working under them. As for calling people 'sweetie' to get on their good side- how ridiculous is that?????? People should do their job professionally & courteously because they are paid to, not because their superiors decide to suck up to them. Sorry if I sound angry but I really feel for you & have been in similar situations with immature & jaded co-workers. Best of luck with our career, Sunny.

[listry]

HI,

a little story about working in aged care:

pretty much all RN's meet difficulties with the assistants, usual reason is, residents and carers have usually been there for ages, know each others needs inside out, new RN comes along, sees things with fresh eyes and commits the heinous sin of TRYING TO CHANGE THINGS

Next, sorry, but this is particularly true of new graduates or those who have never worked in aged care, the residents are viewed as patients, not as people living in their own home,

it just takes a shift of attitude, take things slowly, you must fit in around all of them, not them to you, in aged care you very much have to earn trust of staff and residents, when you do, they will love you,

don't worry, it happens to 99% of nurses, particularly the more caring ones who really want to get involved, PLEASE don't give up on aged care!

Listry

[BROKEN HEART]

I am really feel sorry about your story but try to remember this

Have you heared of ''Nurses eat their young''

Once you know this, you will know what is going on

[RNSunny]

HI,

a little story about working in aged care:

pretty much all RN's meet difficulties with the assistants, usual reason is, residents and carers have usually been there for ages, know each others needs inside out, new RN comes along, sees things with fresh eyes and commits the heinous sin of TRYING TO CHANGE THINGS

Next, sorry, but this is particularly true of new graduates or those who have never worked in aged care, the residents are viewed as patients, not as people living in their own home,

it just takes a shift of attitude, take things slowly, you must fit in around all of them, not them to you, in aged care you very much have to earn trust of staff and residents, when you do, they will love you,

don't worry, it happens to 99% of nurses, particularly the more caring ones who really want to get involved, PLEASE don't give up on aged care!

Listry

Good to be back to the site again after few days. You are right Listry and I noticed that in aged care, resistance to change is incredible...and yes, i could see what you mean coz it is actually observed. Sometimes, it is sad to think that staff attitude towards positive changes is near to nil.

Thank you for sharing your opinions. Anyway, i am surviving the first year of nursing the elderly. I am into a new mission this year and being here now has helped me a lot with nursing profession.

Cheers everyone and all the best.

[Haoyin]

Wow. I am an RN in the Philippines but will soon be moving to Australia to take up a bridging program and find work thereafter. Reading about this makes me really sad and scared of how I will fare once I start working. I mean, just being far from my family and home already causes enough emotional distress and if I will still have to endure such kind of workplace where it seems you will be under so much scrutiny with nobody to befriend...I think I might not last.

Well, at least I read about this and I'll take this as a precaution and try not to listen to gossips and what not.