Have you ever cried when a Pt died - page 4

Sorry if there is a thread somewhere on here already about this. I remember the first time one of my patients died on me. I was taking care of her and she got very sick, I was working in Assisted... Read More

  1. Visit  nerdtonurse? profile page
    0
    I'm as tough as they come, but I've cried. When you're in a room with 12 people, and they are all quietly crying, while a child is in bed with their dead father begging them to come back (and you can't leave because the wife has a death grip on your hand), I can't imagine standing there like a stone. I've cried "off stage" when I know I'm about to have to code someone who's in their 90's, end stage everything, and the leeches in their family are crowing "do everything" in the same breath they're asking how long they can wait until they have to notify medicare/medicaid to stop the check. I've cried with families who've just received devastating news that a child is brain dead, all while watching the mom absently petting the teddy bear they'd brought from home for their little boy. I've cried when a patient is going for a nursing home placement to the crappiest place in town, and their only worry is who's going to look after their cat, when I've heard the family saying they're going to "take it to the dump" as soon as "mom's out of the house" and the mental image of that poor cat being thrown out, losing both home and human is breaking my heart (I managed to get them to give me the cat, and took it to the SPCA -- declawed, and they were going to throw it out). I see a lot of bad, sad, maddening things in my job; we all do. And the one thing we do a poor job of as nurses is getting to mourn. I think if you don't have some kind of mourning mechanism (tears, exercise, art, whatever), especially for patients you've had for long periods of time, it can hurt you more than you think.
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  3. Visit  Topaz7 profile page
    0
    Great comment! Yes I think it is healthy to let it out, the soul can only take so much built up stuff.
  4. Visit  nursel56 profile page
    0
    Quote from tewdles
    Some of us shed a tear and some of us don't.
    If your eyes fill with tears, know that it is okay...but check yourself and your emotions as it is important not to reverse roles with the family. We cannot let ourselves be perceived as needing comfort from the bereaved.
    Absolutely. We owe it to our patients to be in control of ourselves so they can rely on us when they are thrashing in a sea of strong emotions. I cry at home, or someplace away from the area I'm working in. There are a few patients I still can tear up over as their deaths so affected me.
  5. Visit  tothepointeLVN profile page
    0
    Quote from nerdtonurse?
    I've cried when a patient is going for a nursing home placement to the crappiest place in town, and their only worry is who's going to look after their cat, when I've heard the family saying they're going to "take it to the dump" as soon as "mom's out of the house" and the mental image of that poor cat being thrown out, losing both home and human is breaking my heart (I managed to get them to give me the cat, and took it to the SPCA -- declawed, and they were going to throw it out).
    A death on every shift that I can handle but the above would get me bawling every time. I still cry every time I watch that part in Breakfast at Tiffany's

    Cat!
  6. Visit  tewdles profile page
    1
    nerdtonurse? made a good point about nurses and grief. In hospice we recognize that the staff experience cummulative grief and try to provide good outlets for them to process the losses and "refill their buckets".

    Ignoring our own bereavement leads to nowhere good!
    Topaz7 likes this.


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