Burnt out and struggling emotionally - page 2

by MomRN0913 7,446 Views | 21 Comments

As I have mentioned, I do hospice and palliative care. It's been a year. I'm completely burnt emotionally. Hospice I handle much better than palliative care. Palliative care is quite draining as I have most patients who have... Read More


  1. 0
    Hugs..everything will be alright.
  2. 0
    And somehow, this turned political...^^^^^^

    OP, you have been given some great advice. Prayer, setting boundaries, seeking counsel, or (if all else fails) finding a new field. I hope you soon find peace in both your work and home life, or at the very least some effective coping mechanisms. You are in my prayers.
  3. 0
    Grammy, that was great advice. And compassion. And that notebook idea is great. Because I am sick of waking up at 4am with something left over bothering me, whether it be about an order I received or a patients condition......

    I am not religious which probably doesn't help me in this field......although I find myself praying a lot these days. The chaplain I work with is nice, but ummmm, but not someone I would confidein. I confide in the MSW's. it's just too much. Not only havei been emotionally trapped the thought of more paperwork and visits is making it worse.

    I was an ICU nurse for 5 years. Then I went out of bedside because as a single mother with not much help, I couldn't do shift work anymore. My ex took her some days but neither of us could do anything about the early mornings or late nights. I eventually came back after taking some jobs that weren't for me to do hospice. However, I do mostly palliative home are which I didn't want to do, I was told it would be only a little palliative. Well, it's mostly palliative and I get the worst of the worst cases, unfortunately.

    I took a big pay cut for a work life balance. I have all work and no life now and now they want me to more work.

    I am waiting on a position for way too long for a work from home job. I am just waiting for them to start rehiring for almost 4 months now. I'm feeling hopeless. I would go back to the hospital but now my daughter is in kindergarten and there is no one to get her to and from school.

    This stinks. I love what I do but not full time. Per diem I could handle. Not case managing, just making visits.

    I'm sad my work/ life plan went down the drain. When we had our daughter I was going to work 2 nights a week in the ICU per diem. Brought in good money, was there for our daughter, had his health insurance. Did it for a few months then he decided to leave me for his affair partner when our daughter was 6 months old, so there went those plans!

    It is what it is. But I've spent 5 years trying to balance a nursing career with single motherhood of a young child and can't seem to figure it out.
  4. 1
    If it is available get a company cell for patient calls and turn it off when you are off duty. If no company cell is available, look at getting a cheap cell (like Net10 for example) for work calls. This may even be tax deductible as a work expense. Your peace of mind will be well worth the investment!
    Grammy9330 likes this.
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    Try taking 5 minutes everyday, just to focus on YOU. No chores, no calls, nothing but a quiet room, or even in a parked car. Close your eyes and empty your mind. (Of course emptying your mind is easier said than done, so maybe try thinking calming thoughts and just breathe.) You will get through this.
  6. 3
    Quote from FLArn
    If it is available get a company cell for patient calls and turn it off when you are off duty. If no company cell is available, look at getting a cheap cell (like Net10 for example) for work calls. This may even be tax deductible as a work expense. Your peace of mind will be well worth the investment!
    I agree. Leave a really long voicemail on the work phone telling them if it's an emergency please hang up and call 911. If not, please call the office number if it is after 5pm. This phone is tax deductible.

    The other great advice I heard here is "let go". Easier said than done but make it your daily practice. And delegate. If its not your job don't do it. Let the social workers, ministers, aides, and on call nurses do their job. Insist on it if you have to.
    leslie :-D, anotherone, and Grammy9330 like this.
  7. 0
    Thanks for all the ideas, feedback and support. After a grueling week, I have had a grueling Monday and now my boss is out to get me. She has taken the hospice cases I enjoy and had left me with the palliatives which are extremely draining. Any " easy" visit I have she has taken away from me so she can take out the new nurse to see those. She's made jabs at me all day and is making my job considerably more difficult.

    I saw her do this to a nurse when I first started. That nurse left because she couldn't take it anymore.

    I'm just so sad. I thought hospice would be a great experience. Well, perhaps it would be if I was doing true hospice and didn't work for a company like this.

    I just cry everyday. I'm pretty depressed. If I could quit tomorrow, I would.

    I live in Nj and really wish I was the winner of that powerball ticket. I see patients in the town it was bought in.

    I'm just so sad.
  8. 0
    Quote from MomRN0913
    Thanks for all the ideas, feedback and support. After a grueling week, I have had a grueling Monday and now my boss is out to get me. She has taken the hospice cases I enjoy and had left me with the palliatives which are extremely draining. Any " easy" visit I have she has taken away from me so she can take out the new nurse to see those. She's made jabs at me all day and is making my job considerably more difficult.

    I saw her do this to a nurse when I first started. That nurse left because she couldn't take it anymore.

    I'm just so sad. I thought hospice would be a great experience. Well, perhaps it would be if I was doing true hospice and didn't work for a company like this.

    I just cry everyday. I'm pretty depressed. If I could quit tomorrow, I would.

    I live in Nj and really wish I was the winner of that powerball ticket. I see patients in the town it was bought in.

    I'm just so sad.
    Perhaps you could speak with your physician and take some time off work.
    Hospice is very difficult work, and sometimes the affects of it creep into our daily lives without our knowing. This cummulative grief may be affecting your ability to cope.

    Try to step back and care for yourself, if possible.
    Good luck.
  9. 0
    I usually go to nursing homes and independent living. I have a very kind team leader, albeit a little mousy. But anyway, I once took a home patient as they were close to home and I live far away. We usually don't take them that far, but we did; It was 2 miles from me. I offered myself night and day, and his symptoms were bad as far as agitation and the doses of meds he ended up on were really high and wouldn't touch him. Boundaries. That post was the best. We all have nasty bosses and political crap. You are out in the field most of the day so hopefully you can get around that. But setting the boundaries will make it so much easier. It may take a while until your census turns over and you can start anew with new patients, but it will help. But if you cannot pull yourself out of this rut you MUST take a leave. You will not make it otherwise. I find myself questioning the meaning of life all the time after taking this job, but honestly, I think it is just from turning 40, a little mid life crisis. I love my job and I know that once I get through my "existential crisis" I will be better for it. Right now I am listening to "Conversations with God, an uncommon dialogue" . Neat stuff. I pray alot. Maybe you need a new company. Start looking.
  10. 0
    My heart goes out to you. I have felt your pain for along time. My life was work and work only. I blocked out friends, family, hobbies, etc. to put my heart and soul into my career as a RN on a fast paced, difficult unit in a large teaching hospital. My depression deepened, and led me to do something very stupid that has forced me to not be able to work. I urge you to listen to your inner thoughts and feelings. Crying everyday is not worth it. This job sounds too demanding emotionally and physically. This is no way to live your life as a mother, friend, nurse, etc. There are multiple fields of nursing out there to discover. DO NOT settle for a job that leaves you crying and feeling the way you do. Take care of yourself first. When you do this, life brings more meaning, happiness, and peace. Please take care of yourself and family. Patients, coworkers, jobs come and go, but family is always there <3


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