I am a home health care nurse and I recently went to visit a typically noncompliant diabetic / chf patient. I visited him about 3 days ago only to find his blood sugar over 500 as usual, called the doctor, got blessed out, and in turn, gave the patient a good talking to...(he called me a warrior priestess and he didnt appreciate me ruining his nice quiet day). So I went to follow up with him yesterday and knocked on his door. No answer. I rountinely let myself in his home - he keeps it unlocked b/c he doesnt like getting out of bed. So, i walked in calling his name and ended up finding him very much deceased on his toilet. It was very graphic and disturbing. I cannot get it out of my head. As much death as I have encountered and dealt with, this is just too much I think. I feel like I'm in a trance. I called 911, and they didnt even touch him and called in the cops who are investigating it as an unattended death bc he was alone - it looked like a massive MI, but we dont know yet. I was interrogated in the 100+degree GA heat by investigaters and the deputy coroner and cops.
I couldnt sleep and when I did all I remember dreaming about was him in ghostly form explaining what happened to him. When i visited my patients this morning, the first lady i went to see took a long time to respond (not unusual) and i about flipped out - sweating, nausea, palpitations! I told myself to get it together and I was fine the rest of the day to see the remaining 10 patients I had, but I am seriously concerned that I am having some real trouble dealing with this! Anyone else have any words of wisdom or similar experience????