Very stressed (2.5 years into it) - please help Very stressed (2.5 years into it) - please help | allnurses

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Very stressed (2.5 years into it) - please help

  1. 1 Hey everyone,
    Another nurse here stressed out from the profession, to be specific, beside nursing. I really need some guidance because i feel as if I have lost a piece of my soul that I will never get back. I still love nursing. I love impacting people's lives and having the knowledge and experience that I have now, but I just can't handle this stress anymore.

    I started off on a medicine floor and worked there for 1.5 years. Now I am in the medicine ICU and have been here for 9 months now. My attitude has changed. I remember once I was an extremely tolerant, stress free person. I have never been so discouraged in my life.

    I have read many posts from other sites of stressed nurses on the floor. Main stressors being paperwork, poor managmement, workload. I can handle irrate family members, needy patients, even management (to a point). I'm not stressed by any of the paper work, patient care, or having to wear MANY hats with this profession.

    My BIGGEST stressor are fellow co-workers. Giving report is where I get my biggest stress. I HATE getting talked to by a co-worker about something I didn't do or questioning me as if I was an idiot. Most of the time for petty things. I am not one for confrontation, especially not at the work place. I have noticed this culture EVERYWHERE in bedside nursing. It's disgusting that fellow RNs act this way. I do my best everyday but it's never enough. Someone will complain about something. When you've had a long 12 hour shift about to leave and having someone tell you basically "You didn't do your job" or "You didnt do your job well" is extremely discouraging. I would mull over these things for DAYS.

    All this is leading me to not want to come into work and leave bedside nursing. I just can't take it anymore. RNs deal with too many people and to get attitude during report from a fellow RN who KNOWS how things are, is just ******. It's horrible. I'm a grown man and I have never been stressed from "bullying", but all this is taking its toll on my mental health. I'm still a young nurse and there is definitely a lot that I do not know, which is what makes me feel like crap when I get talked to.

    I am thinking about doing something outpatient but staying with the medical center. I love working with people especially during times of great need. The politics are killing me. Does anyone else here find this as a stressor? Have any of you moved to OP settings and felt great happiness? I love nursing but I need to find a way out of this stress. PLEASE HELP! Thank you for your time.
  2. 14 Comments

  3. Visit  pinknblue82 profile page
    #1 0
    I feel the same way. The drama among co-workers and the politics from admin make it hard to just do your job. Don't know if it's an option for you but I'm changing shifts from week day shift to weekend special. More money, more independence, less people to deal with. Keep your eyes open, there may be some small change you can make to better your situation. Good luck to you.
  4. Visit  Hygiene Queen profile page
    #2 0
    I hear you.
    I feel the same way.
  5. Visit  iluvivt profile page
    #3 2 do you deal with the pettiness and attitude when you are giving report? You need some effective skills to take care of the problem at its lowest level. Then depending upon how that goes you can work for a change in your unit. I remember years ago there was one IV nurse that used to ask me all the time..."why did you put the IV there" and of course, this was said in a nasty critical way. I had just about had it with these comments b/c anything I said to defend my choice was not good enough for her. and I finally said something to the effect " well that is b/c you were not here and until you want to work around the clock you will just have to deal with it. She never ever questioned my choice of sites again and now that I know so much more about my specialty I know I was not doing anything wrong.
  6. Visit  ukjenn231 profile page
    #4 0
    When people try to grill me during report, I apologize if I truly forgot something. If I did something wrong, I tell them I didn't know and thank them for teaching me. If this isn't enough for some people, I have learned that if I truly believe I did my best in my 12 hours, I have to walk out of there at peace with that. I used to be very consumed and mull on things for days as well, but I decided it's really not worth it and again, I will go to work and do my best and it will have to be enough.
  7. Visit  anotherone profile page
    #5 0
    I hate that part a lot too. Especially when you ran the whole day, for them to whine about having to give one extra multivitamin or some other bs. the biggest ones on this are usually the laziest and the ones that leave the most unfinished. what I find myself doing, childish or not to the constant offenders is I will right away reply with something he/she left for me to do, or what they do wrong. shuts them up right away. this was almsot only a problem when i was new to the floor and also a new nurse. the peopel who usually did this, did it to everyone and complained endlessly if they had to get up out of the chair a few times. rarely is it the nurse who also tries to do everything or gets everything done that complains.
  8. Visit  IcanHealYou profile page
    #6 1
    Thanks for the replies everyone. I have stood up for myself mutiple times. But I've just gotten tired of this environment. It relieves me somewhat after reading what you guys posted. I just want to feel happy to go to work. I haven't felt that way since..... My high school jobs lol. The good ol days when responsiblity was low...
  9. Visit  iluvivt profile page
    #7 0
    If it is that bad start by looking for a new job or a transfer to a different department. Since you are already employed I would start in that facility for a new position. perhaps you just need something less stressful and there are those positions in hospitals. If I was not an infusion nurse I probably would go into wound care. Many hospitals now have wound care nurses especially since the recent changes in reimbursement. There are so many ares you can go into..but I do think you need to start looking.
  10. Visit  TNOHAZCA profile page
    #8 0
    Looks like everybody covered your issue well. I've felt your pain. I think the most important thing to have to remember is how YOU and your patients feel about the care you have given them over the past 12hrs. If all is cool than you need to also remember that nursing is a 24hr - 7 day/wk - 365 days/year profession. If you forgot to change the IV tubing and somebody is getting there panties in a wad over it my god be the bigger person. You have to feel good about what you've done over the past 12hrs and some days that's not possible just the nature of the beast but don't let that petty crap eat away at you. If there's one thing that nursing has done for me it has given me leather skin to that stuff. Now if your neglecting a patient in any way shape or form then this calls for another thread. Bedside nursing is not for everybody that's for sure. You also need to handle the stress in a healthy way. That's if you want to survive this crazy world of nursing. Good luck!!!!
  11. Visit  IcanHealYou profile page
    #9 2
    Welp, its now 2016. I just re-read all the encouraging and supportive words everyone on here has had to offer, which is greatly appreciated. I've left the ICU as I could not tolerate that toxic environment anymore. I am now working on a Bone Marrow Transplant Unit. Everyone here is extremely mature and friendly. I've finally found a place where I feel myself again and happy to go to work. I still love my career! lol
  12. Visit  coolrndude profile page
    #10 0
    I feel your pain guy because I'm also in your same predicament where I am being bullied at work by this charge nurse who feels that she can talk to me like I am a five years old child. She is a passive aggressive bully who does a good job covering her tracks and also put blinders over everyone's eyes. In my opinion she is the epitome of the wolf in sheep clothing. I've had her snatching my report sheet from my hands, aggressively confronted me, call me by other names and then say things like "what's your name again, I can never remember your name" or you don't look like a Brian to me you look more like some name that has an ethnic sound such as a Malik or whatever else she can think of at the time.

    Every time I open my mouth and question an unsafe assignment or something that concerns the safety of my patient, she is quick to snap at me and act as if I'm being the difficult nurse, it is almost as if I'm not allowed to have an opinion or exercise my free speech. I, like yourself actually find great pleasure in being a bedside nurse and also enjoy being an ICU nurse, but the politics, the sorority like environment have make the place where I work such a toxic environment that I'm experiencing all the symptoms that comes with being bullied such as insomnia, anxiety, loss of appetite and sometimes some suicidal thoughts.

    I just want her to leave me alone. Recently I made the decision to complain to management about safety issue where I was asked to pulled back on a picc line that was not in good position. I told the person that it was out of my scope of practice, so I reported the request to my charge right away and she got on the phone and spoke to the individual who turns out to be her friend and she got off the phone and said that " you misunderstood what he had said to you" I told her no, I did not. I read back the order twice to him to make sure that I heard him correctly and when he insisted, I told him that I would consult with my charge and get back to him since I believe that I'm not suppose to pull back on the PICC line. She said to me in a rude tone "I'm telling you that you misunderstood him and you are still here arguing with me" at that point I decided to reach out to the manager through email and recounted the incident.

    Well, let me tell you, since doing that my life at work has become a living hell. All the the bullying I mentioned above has intensified and they are coming from the leader of the pact, who feels that she needs to stand up for her fellow member. She took it to heart and I think that she wants to see me gone. She has done a lot of questionable things to me that would take too long write on here and I don't want to bore you guys. So, to conclude this my man, remain steadfast and put God first. I keep thinking it will get better, but I'm beginning to think that it just wishful thinking.
  13. Visit  notnursezelda profile page
    #11 0
    You have the right to not work in a toxic environment. Report them and find a better place or different unit.
  14. Visit  IcanHealYou profile page
    #12 0
    I'm sorry to here this man. Our institution actually has started an anti-bullying campaign to raise awareness about these things. I hope things get better for you. Your mental sanity is worth a lot.