Hi all! I figured this may be a good place to seek some support on this, as it is really stress-related.
So, I'm a brand new GN. I just signed-up for an incentive program whereby I typically work an extra 8 hrs a week (sometimes an extra 12, sometimes an extra 4). I really like the program and we certainly need the money. Every one of my paychecks vanishes the same day it shows-up. We have a lot of bill debt accrued from the last couple years, not to mention the new bills. This week I've also been working a lot of OT on top of the incentive program (got called-in d/t high census). On top of it all, I'm taking two measly courses at the CC where I graduated last spring, pre-reqs for an accelerated BSN program I'd like to apply to in dec-jan. When I made the decision to do so, hubby was very supportive, talked a big game about being supportive and so forth.
Well, the reality is he is acting like a complete tool. I work overnights and he is constantly waking me up before I'm ready to get up "because it's late". He also wakes me up constantly throughout the day playing his computer games in the same room where I am trying to sleep. When I get home after my 13 hour shifts at 7:30am, I have to practically BEG him to get out of bed and get our 2 year old ready for daycare. He thinks it's just a small thing to ask of me, for me to stay-up even longer after my shift and get the kiddo ready for his day. Not only that, but if I DO have a day off, it is automatically assumed I will be the one getting the kid ready and off, being the primary caregiver when he is home while DH plays computer games, etc.
Oh, yeah did I mention he isn't even working right now?
I have tried SO HARD to draw the line and stick to it. NO I am not staying-up longer. NO I am not getting the kid ready to go. NO I am not working more OT (he is constantly pressuring me to take the call-ins, I typically say no unless there are really extenuating circumstances). This has only resulted in him acting like he's mad at me all the time. All. The. Time. This week, he didn't speak to me for 4 days. He's acting like a child.
I can't even express to you guys how much I value my marriage and my little family. EVERYTHING I do, I do it for these guys. When I am having a tough night at work, feeling sick and not wanting to go ... I think of my family and plow through it anyhow. I talk about them constantly, and with great pride. I just don't understand why I am so underappreciated. It is exasperating to be so exhausted from work, only to come home and have even more expected of me. I know my limits, and they're being disrepected.
If you've made it this far, thank you so much. I've learned so much on all nurses, I'm hoping someone can help me with this too.