RNdude123

Wow. I hope everything works out with you and your situation. I do know where you are coming from, though. Fortunately my wife and I have found a way to make our situation work. I routinely work ~60 hours a week to enable my wife to stay home with our 2.5 year-old son. The OT income more than makes up for the loss of her full-time income. Over the last 2 years I have gotten used to 4-6 hour sleep sessions. It's tough, but I nap when I can to get by, and I think that I manage pretty well. In return, I get a corner of the house where I can sleep uninterrupted. She does all the housework, the laundry, (most of) the yardwork, and takes care of the bills. All of this is in addition to keeping up with a VERY demanding toddler. Until the last week or so, our son has refused to sleep in his own bed, making for a lot of sleepless nights for mommy. I found myself so concerned about her health and mental state that I began routinely staying up an extra 2-3 hours after getting home from 8 and 12-hour night shifts to look after him and give my wife some breathing room. It's been tough, but I think we've finally turned a corner and he's staying in his bed. I still am committed to accompanying him to his play group (once a week), but as already suggested in this thread, this proves to be wonderful bonding time. What's the moral of my novel? Anything is possible if you can put your mind to it. If your husband is genuinely concerned over the health of your relationship, he will find a way and work it out with you. Family time is important - you have to be creative and make it work within the constraints of your schedules. Give him his 'goof time' but make it clear that your sleep time is priority #1. Hope it all works out for you and your family...

For my first few years in nursing I worked with high-risk OB inpatients. Unfortunately many of them led to fetal demise. Talk about tear-jerking! What made the experience special (for lack of a better term) for me was the fact that my wife and I lost our little girl at 38 weeks. I could really relate to these patients, and yes I did cry with a few. Nothing wrong with that at all. We take our personal experiences and our emotions into the room with us to help us cope with the challenges that are thrown our way. Just remember that it's about the patient (and family), not you. It's OK to show some emotion as long as it does not become a distraction to caring for the patient or family. When it gets to that point it's time to excuse yourself from the bedside.

I would agree about having a bachelor's degree in general, but clinical knowlege and experience are supremely more important than a few extra letters behind your title. Not once have I ever heard a doctor question a nurse's level of education. And before you ask, yes, I do have my ASN. But I also have a BS from a former life. While I consider this education important, this has nothing to do with my ability to relate with the MD. Just as I'm sure you have seen ASN nurses who are unprofessional and unpolished, I have seen many BSN nurses exactly the same. Sorry about the rant here as well.

Congrats on an excellent career choice, Tony. Nursing will open all kinds of doors for you that you won't believe. Just ignore the naysayers and you will be fine. Most of my friends can't believe that my family can afford for my wife to stay home full time and still live comfortably. And we just moved into a big house in a nice neighborhood to boot! The opportunities are out there if you are open-minded enough to take them. I'm a former IT guy that couldn't find work after being laid off. Going into nursing for me was ALL about job security, but it grew on me very quickly. The challenges are many, but I have no doubt you'll form relationships that will help you to weather them. Stick with it and you'll be glad you did.

Unfortunately when we perpetuate this kind of attitude amongst ourselves we greatly diminish the opportunity to be accepted as skilled professionals. Yes, a lot of what we do is motivated by what is right for the patient, but don't think for a second that personal considerations aren't a major factor. Without the pay, benefits and flexibility that most of us enjoy, I guarantee you the shortage would be much worse. Nobody said that changing peoples' minds would be easy. That doesn't mean we have to lay ourselves down and accept the status quo.

I wholeheartedly agree that we need to change the public perception of nursing as a lowly, feminine profession. This alone would do wonders for attracting more men to the field (probably some women as well). And I suspect we won't accomplish this solely through the excellent care we give our patient. Isn't it true that a patient will tell far fewer people of a positive experience than they will of a negative one? We need to get out in our communities and show the public who we really are, guys. Only problem for me is that I've never been an activist kind of person and wouldn't have any idea how to go about doing such a thing. My only idea thus far would somehow entail getting involved with a high school career day or something like that... Any ideas, guys? (or gals, for that matter...)

Repeat after me - "Flexi-seal is my friend..." Seriously though, working in a hospital as an aide (tech, whatever they call them) is your best bet. You'll have plenty of opportunities to help you elevate your comfort level, and will have resources around you to boot (at least most of the time). Just try to keep a straight face and explain what you are doing before you do it. Most patients won't give you a hard time. They want to get through it just as much as you do. And remember that confidence is king. If you don't project it, your patients will be wary. But that comes with time. Good luck!

Having worked on an all-female (patients AND nurses) unit before, I can vouch for what the original responder said. It can be very catty and clique-ish at times. But these things exist in any workplace. You just have to develop thick skin and remember that you ARE in the minority here. You will be appreciated for your contributions.

Melissa - Tell him to go for it. If he wants a good idea of what he will be getting into, he can try to work part-time as a CNA. A lot of hospitals will even pay you a scholarship for committing to a minimum # of hours while in school. It's good experience. Former IT person here, although I was only in the field for 2 years before I was laid off. Job security was the main reason for me going into nursing, but I quickly grew to love it. I may have gone through it at an earlier age, but it still wasn't easy. Tell him to persevere. He'll be glad he did.

I have no problem with anyone in the field for the money, provided they carry themselves as a competent professional and at least try to act like they care about their patients' welfare. I know my wife appreciates the opportunity to stay home with our son full time. That wouldn't be possible without the monetary benefits this job affords.

Let's not turn this into a war of the sexes. No one is suggesting that we try to control our female patients. We are all in this profession because we have a genuine desire to help people that are scared, suffering, etc. I for one would never force my care on a patient that truly didn't want it. But when we let ignorance go unchallenged, we all lose. Some patients have simply never considered having a male caregiver, plain and simple. There's nothing wrong with gently suggesting that we rethink these preconceptions and accept us for who we are, not for our gender. Let's face it, ladies. We men are here to stay, and as the shortage becomes worse, you'll only depend on us more. We're not all chauvinist pigs. We all win when we work together.

I found this to be the case in my first nursing job, working in OB/Gyn... Fortunately I had supportive coworkers and charge nurses. Unfortunately I still see male students and aides that have their authority as a caregiver undermined by overzealous nurses who automatically assume that little old ladies don't want a man 'looking at them'. In most cases I find the attitude of the senior nurses and physicians set the tone for the patient. Even in cases where the patient is a little resistant to the idea, when our attitude is one of "don't worry, this is how we do things now, and it's really OK" most patients open up and accept you without regard to gender. Unfortunately, the other side of this argument has validity as well. Our patients do have rights. There are some patients out there that may have been abused/raped/traumatized by a man at some point in their lives. These patients can have lingering fear about being alone in close physical contact with a man. It would be entirely inappropriate to suggest to these patients that they just deal with the situation and get over their inhibitions. Unfortunately you can't necessarily ID these patients ahead of time. Moral of the story - try to be progressive and encourage the public to be accepting of the demographics in the field of nursing, but above all pay attention to what your patient is saying with their body language and facial expressions. Those will usually tell you if you can break through their preconceptions.