What I Wish I Could Say to My Residents and Their Families

Specialties Geriatric

Published

1. You are NOT the only resident in this facility.

2. Your mother is NOT the only resident in this facility.

3. No, there is no way you can still receive Dad's Social Security check. Get a job.

4. If you're unhappy with her care here, by all means, take her home. Here, I'll help you

pack.

5. Your Dad, the aphasic, bedridden, 5 yrs+ incontinent resident with advanced dementia

said he needed to go to the bathroom? Really? Well stop the press! We are witness to a miracle! And right as we're serving lunch, too....

6. YOU aren't paying good money for anything. Medicaid is. You're welcome.

7. Sure, go ahead and give you're NPO Mom on a feed tube her beloved coffee. She'll

aspirate and maybe even die, as explained ad nauseum. As if sneaking her foods/drinks by mouth when we're not looking somehow lessens the risks...

8. No, Mom is not going to suddenly "snap out of" the catastrophic stroke she had so

you can take her check, er...her home with you.

9. You can cover Dad up as well as I can.

10. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (As I bang my head on the desk).

Thank you for letting me get that out. As you can see, I'm a "little" fed up with LTC. I've been a LTC nurse for almost 6 yrs now, and I HAVE HAD IT!!!!!!!!!!! Demanding/whiny/entitled residents, demanding/whiny/entitled family members, mountains of paperwork, it's crushing my spirit and making me resentful at nursing. I have many more things I would LOVE to say to residents, MD's, families, corporate CEO's, etc., but I think the above will suffice for now. Again, thank you for the rant. Please feel free to add your own.

Specializes in PCCN.

Lol. My coworker had a pt say to her, and I quote verbatem " hey you get me a spoon now. You are here to serve me."

this was an aox3 person.

so rude.

Specializes in Care Coordination, MDS, med-surg, Peds.

I had a gentleman in a nursing home who demanded coffee in a very rude manner.I finally told him I would not get him coffee unless he said please and thank you and I didn't. The other CNA's took the same stand, and it didn't take him long to come around!!!

With another resident who insisted on calling me a foul word(B------ Illegitimate male child). I finally told him if he was gonna curse me, to please use the correct foul word, that I am a B---- (female dog), not a B@@t@@d!! LOL

I would just like to add one to the list: "No.... the comfort cart, is not for YOU to snack on, it's for the family of the DYING resident!"

I understand ALL of those! No one understands how hard it is to be a floor nurse in LTC

"12. (To my administrator) You walked right past that call light to tell me to answer it? Oh, I see. When you said anybody can answer a call light, you meant anyone but you."

I LOVE this!!!:roflmao:

ROFL at this

""12. (To my administrator) You walked right past that call light to tell me to answer it? Oh, I see. When you said anybody can answer a call light, you meant anyone but you.""

except mine say "IT IS EVERYONES RESPONSIBLITY TO ANSWER CALL LIGHTS"

well except Administrators...

I don't think any of this is funny.

1: Not all families have the time or means to care for a loved one at home

2: My grandmother died at a nursing home because some lazy CNA allowed her to fall out of bed. Also there were numerous times I had to march up to the nurses station because some nurse was just sitting there and I had pressed the call button one million times. I pressed this call button because she was sitting in her own waste and it was dripping on the floor.

I agree some families make outrageous claims, however a lot of the time (most of the time) I blame entitled nurses.

Specializes in LTC.
I don't think any of this is funny.

1: Not all families have the time or means to care for a loved one at home

2: My grandmother died at a nursing home because some lazy CNA allowed her to fall out of bed. Also there were numerous times I had to march up to the nurses station because some nurse was just sitting there and I had pressed the call button one million times. I pressed this call button because she was sitting in her own waste and it was dripping on the floor.

I agree some families make outrageous claims, however a lot of the time (most of the time) I blame entitled nurses.

I'm sorry for your loss but the question begs: Have you worked LTC? Either way, it sounds like you had a bad experience in a bad facility. We are not all to blame, and certainly are not all "entitled." Unfortunately, people fall despite our best attempts to prevent it. In most facilities, we are not allowed to restrain resident's in any capacity even though they have a hx of falls. All we can do is alarm them and place fall mats in hopes of decreasing the severity of injury. As is said here in East Texas, "the resident has a right to fall." That statement is made tongue-in-cheek d/t the dismay most of us feel toward state and federal regs that prevent us from taking whatever reasonable action is necessary to ensure the safety of our fall risk residents. My assignment has 45 residents on 2-10 with 3 CNA's. We can't stand by every resident the whole shift to ensure their individual safety. It would be nice, but staffing will not allow for it. Besides, if we chose one res to hover over, the other residents would be neglected and end up sitting in their own waste as you described above. We have to keep moving to ensure that all residents are cared for. Again, I am truly sorry for your loss.

1 Votes
I wasn't a nurse during those times, but I was a CNA from 85 to the mid 90's. The families were just as bad/demanding then as they are now. I just realized it more when I became an LPN in 2008 because I got all the complaints from my residents family whereas a CNA I only had to relay the info to the nurse about an upset/angry family member.

Been a nurse since 1984. I was a CNA before for two years. Today patients are coming that was in ICU years ago. Some are younger and expect to heal within a week. Families think that it is a hotel. The problem really comes down to funding, staffing, realistic expectations and greedy bean counters. I wish all jobs could shadow it other for a week and learn how frustrating it is. Admin to CNA.

"I like how fast that Norco works! You limped over to me to get it and as soon as you swallowed it you sprinted away! And exactly four hours to the second! And right as I'm about to leave! Amazing!"

Specializes in LTC.

We had a male resident that had PRN orders to straight cath. At night, he would use his call light and wave at his groin and say "my bladder is full, can you pee for me?" I am not kidding! I told him he needed to get up and use the bathroom first, and he refused, laid in bed and demanded I straight cathed him. I told him he had to get up and use the bathroom and that he was here for rehab and if he wanted to go home, he had to use the bathroom He got so upset when his PVR was less than 200mL and I wouldnt cath him. Told me he was going to report me.

I also had a large family get upset with me because their mom was not in a private room and demanded I move her. I explained that we did not have one open for her and they could speak with social services on Monday. I even had one of the daughters looking at other rooms up and down the hallway and when she did find an empty room, she

was upset and told me to move her mom. I explained that room was taken, and could not move her mom .

I had another large family visit their mom who was in for therapy after hip surgery. They were upset because she could not go outside to smoke. A little while later, I was pushing a snack cart for a family who was with their dying father. I put the cart in the doorway of the private room of the resident who was actively dying. As I was walking back, one of the son's of the mom with the hip asked me for a snack cart for him and his siblings.

I explained to him that there was vending machines and coffee/juice in the coffee shop (all for free) and the snack cart was for residents and for family with dying residents. He wasnt happy with me and walked away. A few minutes later I saw him and a few others go into the room of the dying resident and take the cart out and helped themselves to most of the food (the other family had stepped outside). I then asked him and his siblings to leave.

1 Votes
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