What to do? :(

  1. Hi,

    So, I was out of high school for two years(I am 20 years old now, turning 21 in January) because I didn't know what to do with my life. I decided to enroll in nursing school and here I am, in my first semester. I feel like it's too much, I can't handle it anymore. I want to switch my program but my parents will get mad because I already wasted 2 years and now another. What should I do? If I do drop it my courses, it'll say F on my academic record. I just can't take it anymore. My parents don't know yet.

    Any advice?
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    About Toaster

    Joined: Sep '11; Posts: 82; Likes: 29
    from CA


  3. by   mrsboots87
    First, you are an adult. THis is your life and not your parents. I know it is hard to feel like you will disappoint your parents, but at the end of the day, you have to do whats right for you. You can continue on and either waste money and/or fail out. Or you can drop and switch programs to something that seems more right for you. Second, you should have done your research. Nursing is not for everyone. You should have looked into what a nursing program involved and researched what a nurse really does in their day to day life. THis would have saved you time. I would suggest you do a little soul searching and make sure dropping iss what you really want to do and isn't just a spur of the moment thought because school was too hard. Nothing in life comes easy. If you want something good, you have to work for it. If you truly feel like nursing just isn't your lifes dream, then drop out and research other careers. Or take a few years off and live your life. You will only be young once, and maybe while you are exploring what life has to offer, you will find something you love. Your parents will just have to deal.

    I failed out of my first year of school when I was 18 because I thought I wanted to be a physical therapist. Turns out that wasn't for me, and I wasn't interested in school. I decided to just quit for a while until I found something I wanted to do. It took me 3 more years of being young (and an unplanned pregnancy with my now husband) to realize I want to be a nurse. So here I am at almost 26 years old and Im starting my nursing program in Jan 2014 after spending the last few years on pre and co reqs for the ADN and BSN programs. I plan to bridge to BSN after becoming and RN.

    Point is, at 21 you are barely mature enough to act like an adult. Making decision on what you want to do for the rest of your lie is not easy. If you aren't sure what that is yet, then take a break for a while and tell you parents to suck it up. That's what I did and my parents still love me.
  4. by   zoe92
    Unfortunately you have wasted time but you must have some idea of what you would really like to do.
    How close are you to graduation? If you are almost done with your nursing degree then I would suck it up and finish.
  5. by   tyvin
    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=7&cad=rja&v ed=0CGcQFjAG&url=http%3A%2F%2Fadvising.gmu.edu%2Fc urrent_students%2FMyths_About_Majors.pdf&ei=_CJWUu P4D6XUiwKTqYH4Dg&usg=AFQjCNFWIXfCMayvb1Xpgfe2YpZT8 4x96A&sig2=PPg4D0g5NLPJqaapihb5ug&bvm=bv.53899372, d.cGE

    Hi, thought I would download some humor for you. Actually it has some good points so people don't get your pants in a bunch if you see something you don't agree with.

    When I was your age I had no idea what I wanted. Most people really don't know what they want until they hit around 30. Say it's age, wisdom, etc... When I turned around 30 (it was actually 31) I don't know how it happened or how long but suddenly I knew. It's like a maturity that says "I trust I know who I am".

    Don't just let your life go by and let others decide for you. You don't want to look back and wish you had done something and you didn't. Any schooling that you have so far is a good thing. But OMG don't go through with nursing school if it was just one of the choices you had like ordering what kind of fish you wanted to eat at a restaurant you happened drive by.

    Tell you parents the truth. I'm sure they want to support you. Check out what's in a liberal arts degree while you searching for what you really want. Can you appreciate the difference between rushing through college with an unsure end or taking it easy and having fun and really learning... I mean you're not even trying to convince us that you want to be an RN.

    That's how many people find what they really want. You take a wide degree of classes and have fun while searching. Get involved with a school counselor. Find a support group of students who are going through the same thing. You'll find it if you relax and be yourself; you will have a great life.

  6. by   classicdame
    you have NOT wasted your time. You have learned what you do not want to do, and that is something. I recommend working for a while. I was 45 when I started nursing school so I can testify that it is NEVER too late to change your life.
  7. by   hazel30
    You're young and your parents will get over it. Follow your heart.
  8. by   kmac3414
    Nothing is wrong with changing your mind, but I would stick out the semester. Just because I wouldn't want the F on my transcript.. You never know. You may decide to try again one day.
  9. by   randill8084
    Find something you love. Maybe talk to the school counselor for help figuring out the career path that is right for you.
  10. by   Toaster
    Sorry for very late reply.

    So I have dropped out of nursing 3 weeks ago (3 weeks before mid-term exams) and currently finishing my elective and nutrition course. I really regret dropping out, I am already missing the people I met and being around them.

    I have not told full story and the struggles I went through. While in nursing school, I was working 16 hours because I did not want to be in debt even though I took government loan and I thought I would be able to manage it but I was wrong! My parents paid half of my tuition for one semester. Also, my sleeping pattern was messed up and it's been like that since high school. I usually slept for 2-3 hours in the afternoon after my classes and slept around 4-5 in the morning and in class I was dead tired. I tried to change my habit but couldn't. I have also talked to counselor for help but they were not helpful.
    Not sure if this is normal in other nursing schools but my school required students to take 7 courses. It was so hard to catch up weekly readings, assignments/quizzes/tests every week. I have failed my quizzes (Less than 50%), I don't think I found the content difficult but rather bad time management.

    I don't know what to do at this point. I want to go back to nursing school fresh start but at the same time my parents will say something like, "Why you going back to nursing if you can't handle it?" Now that I know what it is like in nursing school, I believe that I can do it.

    I have talked to my professors about my situation except for one. I feel like it was inappropriate to not tell one of my professor for nursing practice that I was going to drop out. Should I email her? Is it too late? How should I talk to her...? I am bit embarrassed because what if I go back to nursing again? She'll be there.

    Any suggestions what I should do? I researched other programs but none of them interest me or am I good in those areas.

    Also, I don't have F on my academic transcript since the deadline was not in October

    Sorry if there are a lot of errors in my post D:
  11. by   BoxingRN
    Is your heart in nursing or are you more upset about starting something and not seeing it through?
  12. by   akulahawkRN
    If you were working 16 hours per week, that is one thing... but if you were working 16 hours per day for most days, and going to school, that can really mess things up. The workload for most nursing students isn't horrible, but it is a lot more than they usually thought at first. Get through the semester, get your time management on track, make sure you build in some quality sleep time, and give it a go again, without having to work so much. Over the summer break, if you don't have school then, consider increasing your work hours, but still use good time/sleep management so that you can make some money to bank before going back to school in the fall.

    Also, make sure you really want to do nursing. It's not easy to get through school even if you don't have to work... I have to work, but I count myself very lucky in that I can study while I'm at work, otherwise it wouldn't be possible.

    The "tone" that I got from your first post in this thread indicated to me that you were clearly headed for burnout. I suspect that you made the right decision for you, based on your circumstances at the time. You now have a chance to re-evaluate your situation and make some adjustments. You already know how much is too much because you've found that point for you!

    A couple years ago, I found my own limits. Fortunately for me, I was able to make some adjustments and keep on going. I was lucky in that I had a couple instructors that were willing to be a sounding board for those changes and, well, here I am today, just a semester away from graduation. It is possible to do this, but you have to be willing to examine your own situation and willing to be flexible enough to make some necessary changes.

    Like others have already said, you now know what you don't want to do... so figure out what you really do want to do and go for it, even if it's not nursing! In my case, nursing is an expression of the kind of person I am. At my current job, I don't wake up wanting to go to work, though it fills a necessary need. When I was working as a Paramedic, and on clinical days now, I wake up in the morning, excited and happy to bounce out of bed to go to do that stuff. Yes, it's not easy doing those things, but it's not work. Work is something you dread. There's a reason why "work" is a 4-letter word. This is fun. This is challenging. This is physically demanding and tiring. I've yet to work a day in my life while doing patient care.

    Do you feel that way about something? If so, do it!
  13. by   cmurra6745
    Umm I work 36 hours over night and do the ADN program and am acing the first semester if I can do it anyone can !
  14. by   Stephalump
    Quote from cmurra6745
    Umm I work 36 hours over night and do the ADN program and am acing the first semester if I can do it anyone can !
    No. The world doesn't work that way. Just because you can do something doesn't mean everyone can or should.

    OP, sounds like you've had a rough time of It. Sorry you ended up withdrawing - I'm sure that hasn't been easy to deal with!

    I don't know if you should go back or not. It's one of those "what will be different this time?" kinds of things. If you couldn't cut it last time, you probably can't cut it a second time without changing something - stopping working? Better time management? Tutoring from professors?
    Last edit by Stephalump on Dec 2, '13