Thinking About Having Another Baby...

  1. Off and on for a few months now, I have had the baby bug bite me.

    My situation: I am 28, almost 29. I am in school, taking my pre-reqs for nursing.

    My kids are ds 8, dd 6, ds 3 and ds 2.

    I had a tummy tuck last April along with a breast augmentation. Needless to say I didnt think I would feel this way now. Had I known, I would have waited.

    There are women who do have babies after having the tummy tuck sx.

    I had to have a c section with #4 due to him being in a breech postition and my water breaking at 34 weeks. My OB cut me up and down inside which means I will have to have another c section. I had a bad recovery. I had a spinal headache which was deadly, not really but completely miserable. All in all I prefer a vaginal birth. For me it is so much more enjoyable. But there is nothing i can do about that.

    We also are having financial problems, we dont even have medical insurance at the moment. We have it for the kids, just not me and dh.

    My little one is 2, turned 2 in November. I prefer smaller gaps.

    I would like to have 2 more real close to each other.

    Several of my classes are online so that helps.

    Any thoughts?

    Dh is not completely against the idea, he just wishes I would have waited on the surgery since it was really expensive.

    Thanks for reading if you made it this far

    Cheryl
    mommy to 4
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  2. 16 Comments

  3. by   Southernkitten
    I have three children, ages 10, 17 and 15. I just finished my first semester of nursing school - it took me 2.5 years to finish my prerequisites (I have a B.S. in sociology already). Even with my children being older and able to take care of a lot of things on their own, it was VERY difficult. With four children already, it is going to be hard enough - especially when nursing school begins. I would seriously consider a tubal ligation in your position, to take the whole idea away. I had a tubal at age 37 because I had a feeling I would want to have another baby, when I knew in my head it was not the right thing for me to do, for myself or my children (I was divorced that year too). Do some research on the classes and commitments, and think about the developmental stages that your kids are heading towards - the physical stuff gets easier as they get older (they can dress, feed, toilet themselves) but the actual child-raising becomes much more difficult (teaching them what they need to know, soccer, scouts, school activities) and the amount of time you have stays the same while the amount of time you need becomes a lot greater. Consider it very carefully.
  4. by   Jules A
    Cheryl,
    Really I can understand the baby bug but the whole time I was reading your post I figured you must have great financial resources backing you up to even be considering another one. In my very humble opinion bringing more children into this world than you can afford is irresponsible. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you asked. Please finish school, get your family some medical insurance, savings and then make the decision.
    Jules
  5. by   Lisa CCU RN
    Honestly, I'm thinking if you are having financial problems and you and the husband have no insurance that those are reasons to NOT have any more kids right now, but that's just me.
  6. by   future L&Dnurse
    I have had the baby bug for about 2 years now, BAD, so I absolutely understand. Having another baby is something I think about daily, literally. I absolutely, 110% understand that desire.

    That said, I would strongly urge you to wait a while. At least until you have insurance coverage for yourself that will cover a pregnancy. I know you're still taking pre-reqs so graduation feels like a billion years away - Believe me, I know! But I think there are a lot of arguments against having a baby right now, for you, and it would make a lot of sense to wait a little while. You are still young and you could wait until you are in a better place financially, and you are insured, before you have another baby.

    I know it's hard. I wish you luck with making a decision.
  7. by   cdietrich404
    I would 100% not have another baby unless I had medical insurance.

    I am not one of those people that makes quick decisions.

    This is going to take time and I have already started my pros and cons list.

    The title was "thinking" and thats all i am doing at this juncture.

    Thanks for the replies some harsh some not either way thank you.


    Cheryl
  8. by   User123456
    i have two little boys who are a joy but i want a girl the baby bug keeps bitting me but im pushing myself to wait till i graduate. beside dont you want to enjoy the makeover for alittle bit? im waiting and saving for the same deal cant wait! good luck!!
  9. by   cdietrich404
    Quote from trendynursingstudent
    i have two little boys who are a joy but i want a girl the baby bug keeps bitting me but im pushing myself to wait till i graduate. beside dont you want to enjoy the makeover for alittle bit? im waiting and saving for the same deal cant wait! good luck!!
    the makeover is wonderful but my hope is that it will last since my surgeon pulled me pretty tight. i talked to another women who has had 2 babies since her tummy tuck and she is still tight.


    i hope you get your girl. i would love another girl!

    cheryl
  10. by   Eirene
    cheryl,

    please don't take offense to some of our replies. nursing school is so hard. put kids into the equation and it's 10x as hard. i didn't understand how hard it would be until i actually began the program.

    i get that baby bug once in a while, i think it's normal physiological response. i don't know.

    what i do know is that when i'm settled in after graduating, we might be thinking of another adoption. our kids have a huge age span; 15 and 6. my oldest would be in college. time will tell.

    best of luck in your decision.
    dani
  11. by   RNDreamer
    I want a baby, like, yesterday...but everytime I think about it, I tell myself that I am just no in a position to have a child right now. Wanting children is one of the reasons why I decided to stop waiting and hurry up and get my nursing degree. I know I can provide more to my child if I would just wait until I get a better paying, even if it means having my first child in my 30s.
  12. by   cdietrich404
    Dh is getting us med insurance sometime this week :spin:

    We already have it on the kids now.

    My little one is already 2 years old and our thoughts are to make a final decision this summer. If we choose to go for it there will be a 3.5 year age gap which is the longest gap with all my kids.

    I am not in NS yet and I still have a handful of pre reqs to take.

    I personally would rather have my babies first then complete school.

    Now if I didnt have any kids at all, I would rather do school first but it just didnt workl out that way for me.

    Cheryl
  13. by   Eirene
    it looks like you've already made your decision.

    i wish you the best! have fun with that baby-making.

    always,
    dani
  14. by   ChargeNurseAmy74
    Best wishes! Nursing school, along with motherhood, is a personal choice of where, how, when. I have 3 children, 16 yrs old, 9 yrs old & 8 yrs old, and hubby wants another... My last child was very difficult with full bedrest, placenta previa, bleeding since the 7th week, finally born at 28weeks with an emergency c-section (from navel down to pelvis) resulting in that if I ever want another its another c-section. ewww. They said the chance of me having another premature birth is 50%, I don't think I can handle that again. My son was so expensive, he cost over 1/4 million. I would be in debt FOREVER if I didnt' have medical insurance. You had mentioned having a c-csection, isnt' that over $10,000 with everything anyways? *not including any complications that may arise*, I had no clue I'd have such complications with my last child, so not having insurance I think would be a risky gamble!
    As far as the tummy tuck & breast augmentation, whew...I think my old man would be a lil off the charts after spending all the money then deciding children again LOL. I just got accepted to my nursing school of choice, and will start in 5weeks. You said you still have some pre-reqs to do, are you going for LVN or RN? How close are you?

    Take care...

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