So I guess it is true...

[ThePrincessBride]

Nurses really do eat their young.

Long story short. My last quarter's clinical instructor told me in feedback via paper, that I was good. Good in clinical. My last clinical, I made a mistake in accuchecks and made too many attempts to get an accucheck. I own up to my mistake and have not had any more problems in accucheck.

So this scholarship opportunities arises. I need a letter of recommendation. So, I e-mail her asking if she would be willing to give me a reference. No response. Tried again about a week later...still no response. So I email her a third time (the deadline is REALLY approaching) and she finally answers. Her answer? She is "uncomfortable" with my clinical skills and feels she won't be able to give me a good reference. And she waits FOUR days before the deadline even though I've emailed her twice before in 2.5 weeks.

This whole time she made me believe that I was doing a good job. Told me verbally and even in our comments papers. Not once did she tell me, outside of the accucheck incident, that I was doing anything wrong (told me I was doing very good).

So I e-mailed her back requesting a meeting for specific feedback, and I even typed out the misleading comments she gave me that made me believe I was doing good. I also told her that it is unacceptable to not give a student feedback and to check her off when he/she is doing something wrong.

I feel like if I don't get a meeting or if she isn't specific that I should file a complaint against her.

Luckily, my present clinical instructor says she will give me a recommendation. She says that my clinical skills are average but feels that if I work hard enough, I will be able to improve my skills.

Am I going about this the right way?

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

The complaint would be that this teacher is passing students when she doesn't feel comfortable with their clinical work. And she told all of us in a large group that she would give us recommendations.

It is unsafe for a teacher to allow students who aren't fully capable to continue out on the unit. I feel like I've been cheated out of good learning experiences. My current clinical instructor lets me know when I am doing something wrong, and she doesn't put me down for having average clinical skills. I'm happy for that, but at the same time, I'm worried that other students who are even worse than myself are being passed through the system/ not being corrected.

Is it so wrong that I'm upset about my former clinical instructor being dishonest with me?

No student is fully capable. A passing grade does not mean "fully capable", it means capable to the passing standards of what is expected of students at that point. A 1st semester student would get an A for being able take VS, give bed baths and interview a patient. You yourself said that your skills are average. Average is "passing clinical"-worthy but not necessarily "scholarship recommendation letter"-worthy.

Again, I will say that I don't think there's anything "unfair" about your instructor not responding to your email with any sense of urgency. It very well may be that she didn't check her email for several days and when she logged in she found ALL of your emails.

I am glad that you have decided not to report this instructor because the school would likely react the same way the majority of the posters on here have and believe that you are angry and reacting to her denial of your request for a recommendation letter which would make your complaint less credible.

All you can do at this point is pick your head up and move on. Seek feedback from your current instructors and work on your skills.

[Woodenpug, BSN]

To paraphrase Ruby vee: Your instructor could have written a mediocre recommendation. which would have been worse for you but easier for her. If you get a chance to talk to her face-to-face, I think it will be valuable. "damming by faint praise," is a cherished passive-aggressive tool in nursing.

[inthedistrict]

I just wanted to chime in and say that I'm sorry for all the harsh criticism you've received. I understand why you've become increasingly defensive and I think people are being very unfair. Not really sure why this is playing out this way.

It is unprofessional, not to mention rude, to ignore a student request for a recommendation. I doubt you'd be hurt if she politely declined. It would have been easy to say, "Dear OP, while I'm flattered to be ask, unfortunately I only give out 1 to 2 recommendations a class, and I am not able to give you one. Best of luck!" It is the only fair thing to do, actually. I hate asking for recommendations, but as numerous bosses and professors have assured me, THIS IS PART OF THEIR JOB. Professors should know this comes with the territory and know how to deal with it appropriately. Thank goodness I went to schools where faculty knew this was expected of them and handled it beautifully.

I'm hoping the instructor meant "uncomfortable with your clincal skills...." "....being at the level the scholarship expects." If she genuinely did mean that she thought you were unsafe or below average to a point where your career could be in jeopardy, she did you a disservice. No one improves if they don't know they need to.

I can understand that you feel blindsided-- someone told you you were doing well, and then they tell you after the fact that you weren't doing well at all. Not ok. Not professional. Not what school is about. That being said....this woman is not a professional, and she is incapable of giving you feedback that will help you. Asking her to clarify, writing her up, etc, won't do you any good, and will probably hurt you. IF she didn't tell you then, she certainly won't now, not in a way that will be constructive. Drop it. You are too angry and hurt, this won't be good for you.

Take heart that your current clinical instructor seems to be more realistic, tells you where you need to improve, and thinks your skills can get to where you want them to be. In the long run, a lousy experience, and confidence shaking, but not a major setback. Good luck! This is a stressful time, waiting on a scholarship. Don't let one immature professor get the best of you.

In the future, though-- good rule of thumb is that if they didn't love you, don't even raise it. Not ALWAYS possible-- sometimes you need a professor from a certain subject, etc, but for the most part, faculty makes it wordlessly clear when you have them in your corner. IF you find you don't have those sorts of relationships, start to seek them out! Ask questions, go to office hours, ask for advice, etc. I'm not saying it to be calculating, but because school is much richer, easier, and more fun when you have great, deep relationships with the people mentoring you. Bonus is that it really helps you get to the next step, because you have a better sense of what the next step looks like, solid advice on how to get there, and authority figures who are cheering you on.

[kgh31386, BSN, MSN, RN]

In regards to the meeting, so I even bother? I know she hates me, and would it be a waste of time? The woman didn't care to help me out before, and I'm pretty sure she definitely doesn't care to give me advice now.

Ok I read this whole thing...and call me Frank if you'd like.

Here's an analogy....you just passed your driving test and got a driver's license. You got by with an average score, you know kinda messed up here and there but overall passed. They felt comfortable enough to PASS YOU, but they do NOT feel comfortable enough to recommend you for a race car driver contract, or truck driving job, etc.....catch my drift? There's no misconception, lying, misleading, false hope, etc...that's something YOU are taking way too personally.

Ok you're an average student right? You will be passed for being average, no problem here. Not to be harsh, but it appears there are some confidence or insecurity issues based on a lot of your comments. A teacher will try to boost your confidence by saying good job, great job, keep trying, etc. So she passed you based on the competency level needed to move on.

NO matter what everyone else has said, you still are believing someone lied to you. She did NOT lie to you or lead you on. She led you to believe you were able to pass, which you did...nowhere did she say OH you are doing so well you can get a recommendation.

For future reference, in the jobplace especially, don't be so quick to tell someone in a position over you that what they did "is unaccetpable"....just an FYI.

And another FYI...if you have to ask "how much theory does a nurse use".......you obviously aren't using enough.

[barachi]

My accuchecks sucked too.. because my instructor kept screaming at me the first time ever in feont of my patient and the rn... funny my pt yelled right back at her.. she didn't mark me off because she said she had to ''coach" me through it even tho I did most of it right. Another thing that got me to know she truely hates me is she cancelled clinicals and called everyone but me! She has my number and has two email adresses of mine... I wasted gas money and I am in the negative in my checking account due to paying for this. ! Don't get me wrong I loveee nursing and pts. I don't like people bullying me tho which obviously comes with the package.