Should I continue with school?
- 1Jun 23, '13 by BeAwesomeI do not know if I should continue. I have been asking myself this since December. I just started the nursing program in January, but it is very hard to do it with being a mom. In December, my husband and I found out that some one in our family (lets called em' Devin) had molested another family member. We were devastated to say the least. I use to leave my daughter with the child molester's mother and Devin lived there too at the time. Thankfully, nothing happened to my daughter, but it could have. I am being vague about the whole story, but that is the gist of it. This last semester I left my daughter with my mother, but she will no longer be able to take care of her because of her health. Next semester, I have it planned to take my daughter to a daycare. I will not have a strong support system set up for my daughter when I am in school and that kills me. My husband helps a lot, but he works a lot. I would like to leave nursing school, have 2 more kids, and come back in about 10 years. I plan on moving to where I have more family support. I am 26-years-old. My other family members think that that that is a reckless idea because the "what ifs" of my husband losing his job and not being able to find another one. My husband and I are not worried about that because he is in the computer field and he has a lot of skills. But, then again, I am afraid of not being financially secure because I do not have a career. Any advice?
- 1Jun 24, '13 by twinmommy+2Stay in school and get the degree. I had three babies in diapers when I started school and fortunatly was able to get help from the government for child care. My daughter was also molested while I was in Nursing School, by a teenage family member living in the house, and talk about throwing your entire family into turmoil. I'm glad thats behind us now.
Also, I would love to be able to stay home with all of them (we have four now), homeschool them, and bake all day long. I really would love that. I got my degree incase something happened to my husbands job, and it did happen. He's been unemployed for a while now, but since I have my nursing degree I can support the family with some cuts along the way to wants so we can have our needs.
You never know what will happen to a spouses job. Get the degree, you'll make it though.
- 2Jun 24, '13 by jeepgirl68Finish!!! I dropped out of school and now I'm back at 44. Even if you don't use your degree you will be a better mom if you have more education not to mention the what if factor. I have always felt like I wasn't the best I could be because I dropped out.
- 0Jun 25, '13 by HM-8404Finish school. You never know where your husband or his job will be in a few years. Returning to school with 3 kids will be harder than with one. Even if they are teenagers.
Also, how does your husband feel about your decision for him to be the sole supporter for you and three kids for the next ten years?
- 0Jun 25, '13 by 1feistymamaOnly you will know what's right for you and from your post, it sounds as though you already know the answer. Your kids will only be little once and your child-bearing years are numbered. Your school and career days are almost limitless.
When I was 28, we wanted to buy a house but we also wanted one more child (we had 2 already). We used the same logic as above (child-bearing years are more limited than home ownership years) so we opted to rent longer and buy later. Best choice we ever made.
Our youngest is now 5. All daycare expenses are behind us (we paid daycare for 14 years since we spread our kids out). I started nursing pre-reqs at age 33. I was able to attend school part time, work full time, and have time with my family. When my middle son was diagnosed with a learning disability, I was able to take off a semester to devote to him and getting him the help he needed. We've been paying off bills (extra credit cards and both car loans).
I'm now 36. Our kids are 14, 9 and 5 and fairly self-sufficient. I can trust my 14 year old to care for his younger brothers for a few hours if I need to leave before Dad gets home. They know how to cook and how to clean so they can take care of the house while I attend classes. During school years, we study together at the dinner table and it's actually a bonding moment. Right now, I work full time Mon-Fri and attend CNA school on Sat and Sun. My 14 year old says "that sucks" because I don't have any days off but I have every evening off and we make the most of those hours every day. I also tell him to finish college before getting married and starting a family. That really is the easiest way....it isn't the only way, tho.
My parents moved to our neighborhood 6 months ago so they're now 5 minutes from my door. My Dad is retired and he doesn't do babies, but my kids aren't babies anymore. If my kids are home and need something, grandparents are literally 5 minutes away.
For me, waiting was "in the cards". My support group has grown greatly over these last 5 years. I will work as a CNA while in Nursing School because I still have a mortgage to help pay for, but the kids (the most important things in my life) will be fine. My kids are very proud to say their Mom is gonna be a Nurse. I'm proud that they see me working so hard and they're learning that we can do anything we want to do if we are willing to work for it.
You do what's best for your family...whatever that may be.