Nursing students and immaturity

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Hi! I wanted to bring something up that really surprised me & I'm not sure what to do about it. First of all, let me say that we have a number of males in our nursing program, and they are top-notch, fantastic, helpful, compassionate, and mature - I really enjoy having them around. This is in no way a comment on male nursing students. But here's what's going on.

A couple of the young male nursing students in my Master's (!) program think it's funny when our instructor talks about problems involving genitalia. They giggle in class and basically don't act like I would imagine someone studying medicine would act. Okay, okay, it may be unusual to hear an instructor speak frankly about the vasalva maneuver or imperforate orificees on newborns if one is not used to hearing about such things. But COME ON, we're in nursing school!

What's bothering me is that a couple of the guys have apparently been talking about me - I've had a couple of comments shouted to me across the cafeteria, and just recently one of them walked up to me after a big test and said, "Hey, X tells me you have an imperforate orifice. Is this true?" Then he just stood there staring at me, I guess waiting for my response.

I'm just not sure how to respond to this kind of comment. I am a woman in my mid- to late- forties, and I guess I don't expect to be spoken to this way by a colleague. The two guys who are saying these things are younger than me, by the way - one is in his twenties, and one is in his thirties. As far as I know, I haven't said or done anything to make these guys mad, but I feel like I'm being picked on/harrassed. It's so immature and frankly embarrassing for me that I guess I've been too shocked to respond or do anything about it. How do you think I should handle this line of questioning? I want it to stop right now, and I certainly don't want to respond in a way that will just exacerbate this behavior. I feel like nursing school is stressful enough, and I just want to do my best, graduate, and become an awesome nurse.

Thanks!

OP, your feelings should dictate how to handle this. If you are feeling like a target for harassment seek the aid of someone in an authority position. You are in school to learn, not feel bullied or picked on.

With that being said, are they younger males? 20-30's? In my A&P classes a few semesters ago a LOT of orifice jokes /"You're from spermatagonia"/"He's such a fenustrated sinusoid" etc went on. It is true that that is how some people joke, and they may not mean it in a vicious way. Unless you feel like your safety is compromised I would just have a quick convo with the kids and simply say, "That is not my sense of humor and I don't appreciate it so please don't direct it at me." I'm in my early 20's and if I EVER made someone feel uncomfortable I know I would want to know from them immediately vs having a meeting with the board of the school a few weeks later. If you feel comfortable I think that would be a better route to go.

Good luck!

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Specializes in Forensic Psych.
OP your feelings should dictate how to handle this. If you are feeling like a target for harassment seek the aid of someone in an authority position. You are in school to learn, not feel bullied or picked on. With that being said, are they younger males? 20-30's? In my A&P classes a few semesters ago a LOT of orifice jokes /"You're from spermatagonia"/"He's such a fenustrated sinusoid" etc went on. It is true that that is how some people joke, and they may not mean it in a vicious way. Unless you feel like your safety is compromised I would just have a quick convo with the kids and simply say, "That is not my sense of humor and I don't appreciate it so please don't direct it at me." I'm in my early 20's and if I EVER made someone feel uncomfortable I know I would want to know from them immediately vs having a meeting with the board of the school a few weeks later. If you feel comfortable I think that would be a better route to go. Good luck![/quote']

I agree with all of this.

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Ignoring or not saying anything makes it acceptable. Learned that in Management 101 in my younger years. Lol. I haven't read all the replies but I'm sure someone has said this along the way. I would first make it know to them that "although you may find these remarks humorous, I don't. I'd appreciate it if you both would stop." End of discussion. If they probe, you can explain or not that it is uncomfortable and not professional. It's up to you as far as how friendly you want to be. IF IT doesn't stop then take the next step, but I would make an attempt to put an end to it yourself. My opinion. You sound educated and mature enough to be able to put this ridiculous banter to an end without causing yourself any undue aggravation.

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Yeah, me too - if I offended someone and didn't realize I was doing it, I'd want to be told and given the chance to never do it again. Especially if I was still pretty young and hadn't learned some limits. But I also think I should at least let these guys know how it's making me feel. I don't know if they will understand, but I imagine that if I call them on it, they'll stop doing it, or they'll at least hide it from me. Maybe I'm fun to pick on because I'm older - I'm different enough to draw attention, but I don't seem particularly vulnerable. Who knows. I just wish that people didn't have to be told to treat each other with respect. Ah well.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
"You're from spermatagonia"

HAH! I'm sorry, I know this is a serious topic but that made me giggle (because I am a *very mature adult* :specs:)

Idk OP, it's hard to tell if they're singling you out in a malicious way or if they just think they’re being generally hilarious for the benefit of all. If you're persona is ultra serious in class they may just be trying to get a rise out of you, but if it really bothers you it seems like the next logical step would be to spell it out to them nice and clearly that their comments are not appreciated (lorirn2b's "I hear you ARE an imperforate orifice" is the clear winner here). It may just be that they're dense enough to not even realize that they've offended you in a serious way.

As others have suggested you could then go up the disciplinary ladder; if you do, it would probably be wise to make your complaint in writing with documentation of each incident and citation of the portion of the school's Code of Conduct that you feel they're in violation of. For me personally this would be a last resort as it could very well make things a lot worse in a number of ways.

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I like OP's direct wording, use it.

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Remind them about the misconduct policies and what can and will get them expelled from school. This is your best bet. Inform them that such behavior will get them expelled.

jamie

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Which part is sexual harassment?

about her orifice? What part of that is not sexual harassment. If she felt sexually harassed then it is viewed as such. if someone intentionally touches you anywhere it can been looked at as sexual harassment.

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What about those comments were sexual? I didn't gather from the OP that she was feeling either discriminated against because of her gender nor was taking those comments in a sexual manner. If she was, then maybe that is appropriate.

Don't get me wrong. Sexual harassment should not be tolerated, by either sex. Nor should it be flung about casually to "win" an argument. I have seen several good male nurses have a professional disagreement and end up on the other end of a frivolous lawsuit that costs them their job.

several?

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one last thing. if they are in a masters level program they should be able to conduct themselves differently. By you doing or saying nothing means you are Ok with it in the eyes of these young men.

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Specializes in PACU, Oncology/hospice.

I would take it to my adviser, just because I wouldn't want to stir any more trouble than the boys have created. They are acting very immature. I am in my undergrad currently 2 more semesters to go until I graduate with my BSN and the boys in my class act more mature than this. I am sorry you are having to go through this. I would not want these boys that are in your class my nurse.

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Yeah, me too - if I offended someone and didn't realize I was doing it, I'd want to be told and given the chance to never do it again. Especially if I was still pretty young and hadn't learned some limits. But I also think I should at least let these guys know how it's making me feel. I don't know if they will understand, but I imagine that if I call them on it, they'll stop doing it, or they'll at least hide it from me. Maybe I'm fun to pick on because I'm older - I'm different enough to draw attention, but I don't seem particularly vulnerable. Who knows. I just wish that people didn't have to be told to treat each other with respect. Ah well.

What has struck me here, OP, is that you are making excuses for their behavior..."pretty young and hadn't learned" and "I don't know if they will understand". You've said these men are in their 20s and 30s and in a Masters Program no less. Kids in high school are already aware of rules of conduct. Please don't let them off because you think they don't know better....they are damn well old enough to know better. I'd go up the chain of command with this until you get satisfactory results.

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