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- Dec 3, '12 by cp1024Hmm.. I have to agree with the others- you are being really unreasonable. You sound like you expect your poor roommate to live her life totally around you and your needs... Totally not OK. You want my advice? The next moment you see your roommate, apologize!! I'm sure you're just stressed about grades, and that I completely understand- I'm that way too- but demanding that your roommate not make even the slightest noise because YOU don't want her too, is insane. It's not YOUR room, it's both of your room. What kills me is that you can't stand being there and study with her, but a 10 minute walk is too much of an inconvenience to you??? That makes you sound like the selfish, inconsiderate one. You owe her an apology if you've been treating her like this all semester, and you are incredibly lucky she has tried this hard (agreeing to wear headphones to watch TV) to be considerate of you. I'm an auditory learner, so I understand how you can be distracted by sound, but you should try to learn other techniques other than complete silence. Try turning on the tv to a show you aren't really interested in (helps you not be drawn to it quite as much), and turn the tv down really low- like maybe a loud-ish whisper, and try doing some studying. You will get use to the noise and be able to better tolerate it. Gradually you can up the volume to talking level and if you can do that you'll be saving both yourself an your roommate a lot of stress. I have 3 kids, 2dogs and Im married to a sailor-there is no quiet in my house, but I've learned to adapt and so can you! I'm actually able to tune out a lot of the chatter now, and I can't tell you how nice that is!I wish you luck, and I suggest you try to take a day off studying and just go and have some fun! You need a break to destress!
- Dec 3, '12 by Enthused RNEar plugs! Seriously, they were a lifesaver for me. You can get them from the drugstore. They're squishy little things you just pop in your ear. Think about investing in eye covers for sleep and maybe some calming teas like peppermint and vanilla. Good luck
- Dec 3, '12 by KimynurseTry earplugs, my friend puts relaxation music in I pod To study with
The library is made to study in, remember a lot of people live at home, and have to study in a library.
I know it's tough, but you can do it.
I don't have an opinion as to moving to another roommate, can you interview/ talk to them about your habits?
- Dec 3, '12 by lianna88It is important for you to remember that it is a dorm room, it is not YOUR room in which you are allowing someone else to crash there. It is just as much her room as it is yours. From my experience as an undergrad, she seems to be EXTREMELY accommodating to your needs. I had a roommate that ate all of my food and brought strange boys/her friends back drunk at all hours of the night, so your roommate sounds like a gift from God I remember when I lived on campus/in a dorm years ago, it was rare that anyone ever studied in their rooms. There's hundreds of places on campus made for quiet study, whether it be in the library, rooms in the student center/computer labs, quiet rooms in the dorm buildings, etc. A lot of schools have 24 hour resources (after all, this is college!), so explore your options and don't feel limited to the library.
Maybe it would be good for you to NOT treat your room like a study room. It helped keep me sane to keep my studying OUTSIDE of the room, so that when I was in my room, I could relax, hang out with my roomie, and de-stress with the comfort of my tv and bed.
- Dec 3, '12 by jtboog2003I am a bit confused. You say it's so hard to study, but later said you have over a 100 in all your classes. So it can't be that much of a problem for you.
I agree with the others that said you are being a bit unreasonable and that your roommate is trying to accommodate you (no offense but I would have told you to go to he** by asking me to wear headphones while watching my tv in OUR room) I'm not making a bunch of noise I am by myself watching tv. for all you know she has complaints about YOU and feels like you are the annoying unreasonable roommate. Watching tv, snoring, and opening and closing drawers doesn't make someone a bad roommate.
Where did you used to study that it was total silence before besides a library? even if you have your own room, dorm buildings in general aren't completely silent. You hear people coming in and out, laughing, doors opening, shutting, etc.
It doesn't really sound as if she is doing anything major where you should be THAT irritated,(no loud music or friends over; and the snoring she can't help that so why do you say it as if she does it on purpose?) If you are that irritated why not just leave and go to the library. You're the one who wants to study so why do you feel she has to work around you? You should go to a quiet area, not be somewhere and expect everyone to get quiet around you. Like others have said, That's her room also, and she has the right to relax and be in her room.
Also you said one of the problems with the library besides a 10 minute walk is that it closes at midnight? How late do you study? And how often? Are you a bit obsessed with studying or something? (and no I'm not asking to be smart I just never heard someone say the library closes at midnight as if that was early and not enough study time)Last edit by jtboog2003 on Dec 3, '12 : Reason: Spacing
- Dec 3, '12 by PRICHARILLAisMISSEDHey Op, I just wanted to jump in here and say it's not that we're all teaming up against you. And even you admitted (pg 2) that you were being a bit unreasonable. Anyway, I've had buddies who had anxiety issues in college too, and they were just like you.
Here is a piece of advice that I gave them, I hope it helps.
Relax a bit. I understand that school is important to you, as it should be. But lets say hypothetically you failed a test for lack of proper study or whatever. What is the worse that will happen? You will simply just have to take the class over again. That's it! And once you do, the new grade replaces the old so your GPA will then be where you want it to be. It's really not as bad as I'm guessing you think it is
- Dec 3, '12 by RN12PTLI was JUST like you!! I seemed to always get paired with "the bad roommates". You know- the needy ones. The ones who wanted you to be there to hang out with them or go grab meals with them, or go and "do something fun". Yet, my nursing school put so much pressure on us to pass, and not just pass but make a B or higher in EVERY single class, that it was impossible to not worry. I had always made a's or high b's before nursing school and didn't think NS would be that hard, to be honest. But then I had one roommate in particular that almost caused me to fail out of school. I would obsess about how loud she was, or how loud she would breathe, or the fact that she always seemed to be in my space... even after I would try and lay the ground rules again. Yet, I was unable, or maybe unwilling to consider life from her perspective. I had to learn to love the library (except around finals time because it was overpacked), and had to learn to study with music on. I bought a fan/ air purifer, so even in the cold winter I could have some noise in the room to cover her sounds, and learned to wake up early/ get to studying earlier in the day.
It was unfair of me to wait until after 8 or 9pm to start my studying, and then tell her she couldn't be loud, or dry her hair or snore or whatever noise it was that was bugging me. I was projecting my anxiety about failing nursing school onto her. It wasn't her fault I couldn't focus- it was mine. Once I learned that my family would still love me if I failed, my boyfriend would still want to date me, and my school would still have me back- I was less anxious about tests and studying, and able to remain calm even in noisy situations.
with all that being said- yes it IS NORMAL TO GO TO THE LIBRARY EVERY NIGHT AS A NURSING MAJOR. It is possible to make flash cards even when someone is opening and slamming doors and drawers. It is possible to read when someone is snoring.
Like other posters said- take a study lamp with you to the lounge, use your earplugs. If people come in that are loud- you could kindly ask them to be quiet as you are preparing for a huge test. Maybe even make cookies/ cupcakes for your neighbors and try and be more amicable, rather than the self-centered roommate you could be perceived as if you don't.
Above all, take a deep breathe- you ARE going to make it!! God didn't bring you this far to have you fail out because of a bad roommate. Nursing is all about learning to work with difficult patients, co-workers, management, and diagnosis in life. If all else fails, at least you will have a GREAT answer to the interview question "name a time when you were in a challenging situation and how you handled it".
- Dec 3, '12 by sarahsatherThank you for all of your posts. Do not worry about seeming as though you are "ganging up" on me, it actually is beneficial for me to see people's thoughts on this from an outsider's perspective because I know very well that my thoughts right now are very skewed from reality. I appreciate all of the advice and words of wisdom, I have favored some of what you all said and am using it as inspiration to get myself out of this rut. I apologized to my roommate and we seem to be on a lot better terms. I told her how appreciative I am of her using her headphones to watch TV and she said it is not a big inconvenience to her so it is working out well. I am trying to make studying in my room work because this is where I recieved my 4.0 GPA last year, and I feel so much more comfortable here. When all else fails, I will resort to my study room on the floor above me and lock the door where no one else can interrupt or else take the walk to the library. Thank you all for reminding me of my options and my strengths which have gotten me into this program. I appreciate all of your advice.