My worst fear come true.

[decembergrad2011]

I'm failing in my final semester of nursing school. 1 pass/fail course, and I'm failing it. (Decided to remove the details of why for protection.)

It's my fault, but it still hurts to be mere weeks from graduation and dealing with this situation. The embarrassment of having to explain to family members and friends. My obvious absence at graduation. Being stuck in my current job with the mediocre pay for another 6 months.

The positives:

- I will get a chance to repeat the course I am failing, and will still be a graduate nurse soon.

- Now I get to graduate in the spring with the warm weather.

- My really good friend, who failed in our third semester, will be with me in the spring class.

- I will have the chance to retake a couple of courses for grade replacement to improve my GPA.

- The material from this semester, which I did struggle with, will be reviewed for me.

- More time to get my life in order, plan my upcoming wedding, and get my anxiety under control.

- I get to enjoy Christmas and the holidays without the threat of NCLEX over my head.

- I get one last college Spring Break, and maybe it will be the best one yet.

This is an obstacle I must overcome to get to my end goal. But it will not be a failure; it's a delay.

Please do not attack me or give me a lecture. I love nursing. I got careless, but I have learned my lesson. I only wish that my preceptor had been more amenable to my learning styles, and one of the things I hope to come out of my experience next semester will be a better fit during my preceptorship.

If you made it this far, thank you for letting me organize my thoughts and gather my emotions before I go into this meeting with my instructor.

[decembergrad2011, BSN, RN]

I am betting that you did something you weren't supposed to do, hence the tragic failure of class; I am glad that you still can graduate at all, b/c I know some idiots from my program who did something utterly idiotic and were never seen again. Hope all the nursing students stay away from doing stupid things... well if they are actually that stupid and left with no common sense, then maybe it's good they don't graduate. Study hard

I gave a medication 15 minutes early. No patient was harmed. I don't wish to dwell or justify, but medication errors HAPPEN and we should *encourage* our nurses and nursing students to disclose them rather than hide them. My medication error is actually called a "near miss" in the real world. In my case, the issue was that the medication was pulled early by a clinical instructor and placed with a sophomore-level student. I assumed since the clinical instructor had pulled it along with the rest of the medications, it was to be given with the rest and did so for the student working under me (which should not have happened in the first place, but that's a whole other discussion). Horrible, horrible mistake on my part for not checking the MAR beforehand, but I will NEVER make that mistake again. When I met with my instructors about the issue to discuss my failure, I pointed out that from a systems point of view, that's a horrible way to do med passes with students. Whether they admit it or not, my situation changed the entire syllabus for the last course in our nursing program for the better. My MISTAKE probably will have helped an entire slew of senior nursing students go through their preceptorship with better support, clearer guidelines, and protective polices in place. That's how the good managers do it in the real world, IMHO.

Please do not call people idiots. As students we are often held to extremely high standards with very little experience and knowledge to support what we're supposed to do, and it's difficult to keep so many irons in the fire. I get the feeling that people who are very judgmental of their classmates are equally judgmental of their patients. I prefer to give both the benefit of the doubt. We're infallible and it's only when we admit that we are infallible, examine those failings, and brainstorm positive changes that we evolve as a species.

NAMASTE.

[decembergrad2011, BSN, RN]

oh and because i'm grinning from ear to ear and i feel like it's so important to let you guys know this...

i took nclex today! got to 138 questions and when i did the pearson vue trick, i got the good pop-up which means i most likely passed!!! i have an interview for an oncology floor on wednesday, which is where i have the most interest and experience when it comes to the med-surg world.

:yelclap:

so, my dear nursing students, i want you to know that i will always remember what it was like to be scared, anxious, lacking confidence, and hopeful that one of those big scary nurses would take me under their wing and give me a little push in the right direction with a little love. and i vow to be the kind of nurse that i looked for, and was lucky enough to encounter many times, in my clinicals. i really feel like our profession has got to change our view about eating our young and start treating our students with firm, but loving, gloves. i hope those of you in school who feel inspired by my story will make a similar promise to yourself in the future. to those in the profession who already are participating - thank you so much. you guide the future of nursing.

i leave you guys with a quote from one of my favorite artists, brian andreas, of story people:

[color=#333333]"this is a giant block of whatever is most difficult for you to carry & trust me on this, you'll carry it more times than you can count until you decide that's exactly what you want to do most & then it won't weigh a thing anymore." - weight training

[Stephalump]

OH and because I'm grinning from ear to ear and I feel like it's SO IMPORTANT to let you guys know this...

I took NCLEX today! Got to 138 questions and when I did the Pearson Vue Trick, I got the good pop-up which means I most likely PASSED!!! I have an interview for an oncology floor on Wednesday, which is where I have the most interest and experience when it comes to the med-surg world.

:yelclap:

So, my dear nursing students, I want you to know that I will always remember what it was like to be scared, anxious, lacking confidence, and hopeful that one of those big scary nurses would take me under their wing and give me a little push in the right direction with a little love. And I vow to be the kind of nurse that I looked for, and was lucky enough to encounter many times, in my clinicals. I really feel like our profession has got to change our view about eating our young and start treating our students with firm, but loving, gloves. I hope those of you in school who feel inspired by my story will make a similar promise to yourself in the future. To those in the profession who already are participating - thank you so much. You guide the future of nursing.

I leave you guys with a quote from one of my favorite artists, Brian Andreas, of Story People:

"This is a giant block of whatever is most difficult for you to carry & trust me on this, you'll carry it more times than you can count until you decide that's exactly what you want to do most & then it won't weigh a thing anymore." - Weight Training

A hopeful congrats to you!!! Beat of luck on your interview!

[decembergrad2011, BSN, RN]

Just wanted to update this thread again to let everyone know I was offered a position on an oncology unit working on their bone marrow transplant floor. I'm going to have lots of support, a great orientation, a BSN residency program for 1 year, benefits, and I don't have to work (most) weekends!

HANG IN THERE. If I can bounce back like this, anyone struggling with enough drive and positive thinking can do exactly the same thing.

[shay&lynn, ASN, RN]

Just wanted to update this thread again to let everyone know I was offered a position on an oncology unit working on their bone marrow transplant floor. I'm going to have lots of support, a great orientation, a BSN residency program for 1 year, benefits, and I don't have to work (most) weekends!

HANG IN THERE. If I can bounce back like this, anyone struggling with enough drive and positive thinking can do exactly the same thing.

Congrats!!!!

[nursel56]

[color=#003300]congratulations! sounds like a great job!

[veggie530]

This thread was really uplifting. I read the OP and was sad, then I skipped to the last page and I was touched. Congratulations on your accomplishment OP, I can't wait to join you as an RN in another 10 months!

[mangopeach]

Congratulations!! I am so happy for you!

[sbostonRN]

I was in the same situation as you in my second semester of nursing school. Second to last day of clinical and my lapse in judgement caused me to fail the course. Those extra clinical hours will come in handy when you start working as an RN! I'm glad to see that you bounced back and that you're doing so well. Errors happen and I think that's an important thing to learn and learn from while you're a student.

[decembergrad2011, BSN, RN]

4 years later and I have precepted several students and new nurses of my own.

I still come back and read this thread to remind myself of two things: 1. I am not and never will be perfect, and 2. I can persevere and overcome.

Love to you students.