Quote from NursingstudentT2018
I believe the Extern position is definitely a major factor. Honestly, I just don't feel motivated and it's not that the coursework is really hard. It's just a lot at one time. No, I haven't had any experience with LTC or Community Care. I'm not sure if we're offered that in our courses. If you count not liking the extern position and working the bare minimum to get by because I don't want to work there at all. I guess it's things like that, being broke, not being able to "enjoy" my life. For example I didn't use to be a homebody even when I was working two jobs. Now I am because I always feel exhausted, literally, I'm still tired when I wake up. It's feels like it's too much energy to go out. Plus the usual growing pains, losing friends, etc. Oh, and my older sister with her four kids moved back in with us and hasn't left yet to my dismay. She's a huge source of stress. Perhaps, I should find out more about the health screening.
Nursing school is a lot. It's so much thrown at you at once and there's a lot of pressure coming at you from so many different directions. The coursework, clinicals, classes, work, etc. It requires you to balance everything and to excel at it. I've always said that nursing school is like being on stage juggling in front of a huge crowd of people. Throughout the show people keep throwing more things at you for you to juggle, to the point where you feel like if even one more thing is added into the mix that you're going to drop everything and mess up. I know how awful and overbearing that can feel.
Honesty, I think you have to shift your perspective. Being broke sucks; it's not fun to never having any extra money and none to spare. Feeling like you're losing out on time with friends is pretty awful too. The parties and events come and go and you're not there. I won't lie, it really freaking sucks. But- it's temporary, and that's what you have to keep telling yourself. It's not forever, it's not for the rest of your life... actually, with where you're at in terms of finishing school, it's not even for the next two years; it's all temporary and when that period is over, it's going be WORTH it. You have to remind yourself of this constantly.
You need to figure out what made you love nursing enough to study it. You don't like Extern and that's perfectly okay! (I personally hate ICU and med/surg, and I'm doing just fine) But what areas are you interested in? Where do you see yourself ending up? What setting do you see yourself thriving in? There was recently a thread on here that was titled, "What's your nursing superpower?" I encourage you to read it. Ask yourself what you're good at it and what your nursing "super power is". Close your eyes and imagine all of this and ask yourself these questions. There must be something about nursing that you're still interested or excited about. Find it, then start from there. Make lists, make goals etc. Even if some of them are far-fetched or borderline fantasy, it's a fun and productive thing to do because it's allowing yourself to think about the long-term and to set goals.
If your sister and her kiddos are stressful, BLOCK THEM OUT. I know blocking out drama isn't easy, but I'm guessing you have your own room? Do you have a desk or a comfortable place in your bedroom to study? Sometimes that makes the difference, a place to go, sit and study. Lock your door, put in your headphones and ignore outside influences. Do you have a local library or a Starbucks? You could go there to get out of the house and away from your sister.
This may be a stretch or it may sound lame (and I understand you're not the same as me) but whenever I got bored with studying, I used to go and get cute school supplies. I'm serious. Then I would rearrange my desk, decorate it and make it nice that way I would want to study. I know that a cute desk area doesn't motivate everyone, but if stationary and new pens are appealing to you, it's a small price to pay for a fresh perspective and motivation to get yourself studying again.
Overall, I'll tell you the same thing I've told friends in your situation: Baby, PLEASE get some sleep. I honestly think that's a big part of your attitude. You need to get on some sort of sleeping schedule. The more tired you are, the more you're going to feel "lazy" and like you can't get anything done. So take a freaking nap. PLEASE, lol. Light a candle, drink some hot tea, make yourself go to bed when you need to. You're no good to anyone cranky or tired. To be any sort of productive you need to be alert and rested, not lazy and groggy.
I think you got this. I really do. And you're so close. Please just do some soul searching before you drop out. I think it's possible that you're tired and haven't found your niche yet and it's a combination of those things that are causing you to question nursing.