Mentally done

  1. Hi all, it's been awhile since I posted but all is well I guess. I'm in my third semester and doing very well. It's just that now I DON'T think I want to be a nurse. This started after I got the Extern position at a local hospital. And I'm not sure if it's just the hospital environment I do not like. Despite doing well, I barely want to study. I just wish I could just stop going to class/clinicals. When I was doing my prerequisites and semesters 1-2 I was over the moon but now I'm just miserable. I believe if we had clinicals at the hospital vs skill labs on campus the first semester and I was exposed earlier to the environment I probably would have not came back my second semester. I thought it was just physical tiredness at first but I just feel over the whole situation. And I can't imagine if I feel like this now what I'll feel like when I actually graduate. I guess I'm just here to vent lols.
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  2. Poll: Should I stay in or find something else to do?

    • Stay in and graduate

      91.67% 11
    • Find something else before it's too late

      8.33% 1
    12 Votes / Multiple Choice
  3. 7 Comments

  4. by   verene
    Is it the nurse extern job that is making your doubt nursing or your current course work? The hospital environment is not for everyone. Have you had any exposure to long-term care or community based nursing in your course work? You may find those are areas of nursing you enjoy more. If you have a populations/community based term it may be worth while to stick it out in the program until that point to see if you like that kind of nursing better.

    Are there other changes in your life that may be impacting your enjoyment of nursing school? (e.g. Increased family or job stress? Recent death of family or friend?) This is ambivalence towards nursing only focused on nursing and dislike of the hospital environment or are you finding increased ambivalence and dissatisfaction in other activities as well? In the latter, perhaps it would be to your benefit to see your PCP or student health center for a mental & physical health screening.
  5. by   NursingstudentT2018
    I believe the Extern position is definitely a major factor. Honestly, I just don't feel motivated and it's not that the coursework is really hard. It's just a lot at one time. No, I haven't had any experience with LTC or Community Care. I'm not sure if we're offered that in our courses. If you count not liking the extern position and working the bare minimum to get by because I don't want to work there at all. I guess it's things like that, being broke, not being able to "enjoy" my life. For example I didn't use to be a homebody even when I was working two jobs. Now I am because I always feel exhausted, literally, I'm still tired when I wake up. It's feels like it's too much energy to go out. Plus the usual growing pains, losing friends, etc. Oh, and my older sister with her four kids moved back in with us and hasn't left yet to my dismay. She's a huge source of stress. Perhaps, I should find out more about the health screening.
  6. by   NurseDisneyPrincess
    Quote from NursingstudentT2018
    I believe the Extern position is definitely a major factor. Honestly, I just don't feel motivated and it's not that the coursework is really hard. It's just a lot at one time. No, I haven't had any experience with LTC or Community Care. I'm not sure if we're offered that in our courses. If you count not liking the extern position and working the bare minimum to get by because I don't want to work there at all. I guess it's things like that, being broke, not being able to "enjoy" my life. For example I didn't use to be a homebody even when I was working two jobs. Now I am because I always feel exhausted, literally, I'm still tired when I wake up. It's feels like it's too much energy to go out. Plus the usual growing pains, losing friends, etc. Oh, and my older sister with her four kids moved back in with us and hasn't left yet to my dismay. She's a huge source of stress. Perhaps, I should find out more about the health screening.
    Nursing school is a lot. It's so much thrown at you at once and there's a lot of pressure coming at you from so many different directions. The coursework, clinicals, classes, work, etc. It requires you to balance everything and to excel at it. I've always said that nursing school is like being on stage juggling in front of a huge crowd of people. Throughout the show people keep throwing more things at you for you to juggle, to the point where you feel like if even one more thing is added into the mix that you're going to drop everything and mess up. I know how awful and overbearing that can feel.

    Honesty, I think you have to shift your perspective. Being broke sucks; it's not fun to never having any extra money and none to spare. Feeling like you're losing out on time with friends is pretty awful too. The parties and events come and go and you're not there. I won't lie, it really freaking sucks. But- it's temporary, and that's what you have to keep telling yourself. It's not forever, it's not for the rest of your life... actually, with where you're at in terms of finishing school, it's not even for the next two years; it's all temporary and when that period is over, it's going be WORTH it. You have to remind yourself of this constantly.

    You need to figure out what made you love nursing enough to study it. You don't like Extern and that's perfectly okay! (I personally hate ICU and med/surg, and I'm doing just fine) But what areas are you interested in? Where do you see yourself ending up? What setting do you see yourself thriving in? There was recently a thread on here that was titled, "What's your nursing superpower?" I encourage you to read it. Ask yourself what you're good at it and what your nursing "super power is". Close your eyes and imagine all of this and ask yourself these questions. There must be something about nursing that you're still interested or excited about. Find it, then start from there. Make lists, make goals etc. Even if some of them are far-fetched or borderline fantasy, it's a fun and productive thing to do because it's allowing yourself to think about the long-term and to set goals.

    If your sister and her kiddos are stressful, BLOCK THEM OUT. I know blocking out drama isn't easy, but I'm guessing you have your own room? Do you have a desk or a comfortable place in your bedroom to study? Sometimes that makes the difference, a place to go, sit and study. Lock your door, put in your headphones and ignore outside influences. Do you have a local library or a Starbucks? You could go there to get out of the house and away from your sister.

    This may be a stretch or it may sound lame (and I understand you're not the same as me) but whenever I got bored with studying, I used to go and get cute school supplies. I'm serious. Then I would rearrange my desk, decorate it and make it nice that way I would want to study. I know that a cute desk area doesn't motivate everyone, but if stationary and new pens are appealing to you, it's a small price to pay for a fresh perspective and motivation to get yourself studying again.

    Overall, I'll tell you the same thing I've told friends in your situation: Baby, PLEASE get some sleep. I honestly think that's a big part of your attitude. You need to get on some sort of sleeping schedule. The more tired you are, the more you're going to feel "lazy" and like you can't get anything done. So take a freaking nap. PLEASE, lol. Light a candle, drink some hot tea, make yourself go to bed when you need to. You're no good to anyone cranky or tired. To be any sort of productive you need to be alert and rested, not lazy and groggy.

    I think you got this. I really do. And you're so close. Please just do some soul searching before you drop out. I think it's possible that you're tired and haven't found your niche yet and it's a combination of those things that are causing you to question nursing.
    Last edit by NurseDisneyPrincess on Oct 30
  7. by   NursingstudentT2018
    Thank you for the response. And you hit the nail on the head with the juggling example. Lols my door lock is broken so I'll have to get a new one. Also, I probably should invest in a desk. I normally study on my bed and end up falling sleep. I've started this thing when I get bored with studying during the day I take my dog for a brief walk around the neighborhood. I was thinking maybe the exercise would help. Also it's not the kids as much as the mother. She lets them do whatever, such as break things and make a huge mess. And recently she began expecting me to pick up her slack. So I have to take them to school Monday thru Friday so she can work third shift. The problem is that she should send them where they are zoned for. Then they could catch the bus not too far from our house. Also, I'm the weirdo who likes to have complete quiet when I study for some reason. For some reason music seems to distract me, as I start focusing on the lyrics. And the sleep is a huge problem. But it seems I need more than necessary. For example sleeping on the weekends for more than 12 hours. When I finally get up I'm counting down when I can get back into the bed. During the week I try making myself sleep eight hours, but sometimes it just takes forever to fall asleep or either I don't stay asleep. I agree with you about the soul searching. I'll give it to January to see if I still want to continue. I just think there is something else I want to do. I don't want to spend too much time on something that I don't want to do in the long-run.
    Last edit by NursingstudentT2018 on Nov 1 : Reason: Phone is stupid
  8. by   Julius Seizure
    I never liked nursing school or clinicals. I thought about changing my major EVERY semester.

    But I've liked being a nurse.

    If it was up to me, I would say to stick it out at this point. Good luck!
  9. by   verene
    It sounds like you've got a lot going on in your life right now! No wonder you feel exhausted and unmotivated.


    It may help to prioritize self-care, it sucks being broke and not having the time to go out and have fun. Unfortunately limited money and limited time are sacrifices for attending school. Even if you aren't able to do you usual activities to unwind are their inexpensive or free activities tha tyou can do to take care of yourself and unwind? Personally I like going for a walk and finding a quiet park bench to just sit and watch the world go by for a bit, but whatever works for you.

    Caring for yourself may also involve setting boundaries with your sister. She probably expects that since you are "just a student" and the younger sibling that you are available to be her free baby-sitter. However between school and work you are likely pulling more than a full-time schedule already. You may need to have a very frank conversation with her about the demands she is putting on you and the limitations of your time and energy. Perhaps her kids can carpool to school with the parents of other children? Before/After school clubs that would allow her to pick them up or drop them off, or maybe they really need to be placed in district so they can take the bus. Perhaps there is another relative or friend that can pick up some of the slack in caring for them so you are not her primary back-up plan?

    Also take a hard look at the extern position. Is the stress of the job worth the money you are making and the experience you are gaining from it? It may look good on a resume but that is worthless of the stress of it has you wanting to drop out of school. If you need money there are always other jobs, and it may be worth looking into other work options if this one really isn't working for you.

    Finally, see if your school offers free counseling or student support services. It can really help to talk to some one when under a lot of stress to sort through your own emotions. They may also be a good resource for coping mechanisms and for finding resources in your community that may help with your situation (everything from low-cost daycare to direct your sister to, to scholarships for you to ease the financial burden of school).
  10. by   fibroblast
    Same here, in third semester and hate it. The nursing instructors are mean and rude, and most of the nurses I work with are so nice. They make is so miserable for students. They make what nursing isn't.

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