Is this Junior High again?

  1. Ok I need some advice here!

    I am in an ADN program and right now I'm on my Peds rotation. I was really looking forward to Peds and Maternity for the change from Med/Surg, but now my fellow students have decided ot act like this is Jr. High again. We had to team up two students to one patient this week, and I got left out of all the team work. My "partner" asked for help from the other teams rather than me. Many conversations stopped dead when I walked into a room. So many snide comments were made about what and how I did on the floor. I could go on but you all get the point!

    Most of this, I know, originates from one fellow student who has always been ticked off that I get 'A's in classes, am confident, strong-willed, and have a happy marriage and life, etc. She gets everyone else going and I get excluded.

    I know just to rise above the pettiness, but I have been so well excluded that I got "spoken to" by the instructor--who seems a bit naive-- about not working as a team.

    I went home yesterday and cried! I was so excited about Peds and now I'm looking at having to do battle every time I go to clinicals!

    What should I do? HELP!!!!



    :stone
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   JennyRN2B
    Missionnurse,
    I am so sorry to hear about the problems with the other students at school.

    IMHO, I find that being extra nice to those who may be "mean" works wonders! They are totally taken aback at this! They do not understand because they truly know how mean they are being! Try it and see!

    Hang in there!
    Jen
  4. by   babynursewannab
    Missionnurse-
    You need to have another talk with your clinical instructor. And, if that doesn't work, you need to go straight to the chair of the nursing department at your school. Unfortunately, these people are going to affect your passing the class if this keeps up...and that's wrong. At this point, don't worry about them...they're not worried about you. Do whatever you have to to make sure you are seen for the good student you are.
    -alyssa
  5. by   Agnus
    We are taught to confront the person we have a problem with first. Then take it furthur.

    You might want to have a faculty member present when you do this. You might tell the faculty member that you want to resove this and ask how you can tactfully and respectfully address your concerns to this other person.

    Reguardless of how this goes you will have demonstrated to the faculty that you at least are trying to resolve this and trying to do so in a professional way.
  6. by   renerian
    Just be honest and tell her what you have experienced. Maybe she will change you to a new group. Although sometimes this is what it is like in nursing I can say that. At the hospital I used to work in there were many clicks.....

    renerian
  7. by   farmmom
    oh dear I am so sorry to hear that you had that kind of problem but life from here on out you can compare to junior high because life is status quo!!!!!!!
    I have been ignored and excluded alot and I realized that that is life .
    Women are cats and if you are not the alfa cat or close too or the spawn of one you are an outsider.
    I am sorry that it happen to you and I am not trying to be mean but I am the BLACK SHEEP inside and out
    You look in the mirror and say I am good and I am a better person than their games
    then you ace those tests and show who is the alpha female
  8. by   ntigrad
    Apparently they are making things up about you. My only advise is to make sure you do nothing what so ever that could even possible be misconstrude as something negative. In other words, make it your business to be squeaky clean at all times. It may be stressful, but if your instructors know you and see you as clean, nobody else can hurt you. If theyare smart they will smell the rat(s).
  9. by   Mkue
    Sounds like some of your classmates may be jealous of your grades and happy life, therefore are trying to find a way to make you look inept in the clinical area. Yah, it does sound like a Jr. high thing.

    If your clinical instructor is not wise to their antics I would certainly talk with someone else and try to get into another "group".

    They might be trying to shine in the clinical area but they also need to be able to pass the boards without their clicks.

    Good Luck, I hope things get better for you !
  10. by   ST_NURSE_MLD
    missionnurse,

    I agree with the comments made on these posts... Ultimately, it will be who/whom knows what.... I would like to add that generally, I personally wouldn't put up with that.... Any type of continued mistreatment from other classmates can be termed Harrisment (sp).

    Also, when you walked into the room and it got quite. I would have look straight into their eyes and said... Humm, finally you guys have found something interesting to talk about...

    I guess that is mean but, I'm not the type to put up with petty people. And, I assure you, I am the type to document everything.

    Also, if you were in my class, I assure you I'd do everything I could to shut that one person up... Especially, if it is a "TEAM" environment. There would be no room for that on a Team that I'm envolved with....

    When you start working... Don't let anyone treat you with disrespect. With every job there is a certain about of respect that goes with the job. I don't care if you become a janitor.

    Sorry for being frank.... But, people mistreatmenting one another really gets my goat....
  11. by   allthingsbright
    I don't agree that you should have to be "squeaky clean" at all times...you should be able to learn in a good enviornment and make your share of mistakes-otherwise all the pressure is on you, and YOU are not the problem here. My mother (yes) always says, "Don't own the problem." You need to sit down with your instructor and tell her exactly what you told us here. If she isn't supportive and doesn't help you work things out, go to the Supervisor of the nursing division. This is YOUR education, YOUR buck, and you are a consumer as well as a student. You deserve to be treated with respect, no matter if people like you or not, and you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells throughout your education!

    Definitely do something now before the problem gets worse!

    Good luck,
    Amy
  12. by   futurern1028
    It is unfortunate that you are experiencing junior high again. Approach your instructor privately and professionally and ask her why she made the assessment she did regarding your lack of team effort. Due to the responsibilities and pace of most clinicals, she may be missing the big picture. Whatever the outcome of this discussion, she will see you as far more professional than your co-horts.
    As far as your fellow students are concerned, apparently some people always need to bully. The thought process of these individuals that are entering the profession amaze me. As a student, I have been led to believe that the reason I will earn the title R.N. is that I am an educated, independent thinker expected to use critical thinking to arrive at my elected treatment/behavior. Apparently your fellow students missed out on the fact that following the crowd is not an ANA standard of practice.
    The reality is that women are their own worst enemies. As a general rule, we treat one another with disdain and cruelty and lack respect for one another as individuals. Grudges are held, alliances are expected, and to what end? I have yet to work at any company, any type of business that has this same scenario has not played out. Needless to say, I always sought companies with a small female population. Guess that is over after graduation.
  13. by   missionnurse
    I can't tell you guys how much I appreciate feeling like I have someone out there on my side!

    I went to the instructor and seh told me that after she spoke to me, she started realizing what was going on! She noticed that it was not me who was the problem!

    She even complimented me on how I handled the situation. She asked if with her watching out for me, could I get throught he next couple of weeks in that clinical area, and then in L&D she will make sure I am not assigned to the same area with the other student.

    She also told me not to worry, that she would watch my back for me, and won't let me get stabbed professionally by this other student!

    Now the challenge is how to continue to deal with this other student and make sure the instructors see me as professional!!

    Again thank you guys so much! I was feeling SOOOO alone in this, and y'all just jumped in and gave me the encouragement I needed!

    Misty
  14. by   Mkue
    That is certainly GOOD NEWS !!!

    I'm glad she is working with you and understands the situation!

    Unfortunately that student is only hurting herself by her actions.

    Continued success Misty

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