is nursing right for me?

[uncertain]

I am a student in a four year BSN program at a top ten program in the U.S. I am currently about to finish my second semester but I have a lot of reservations if nursing is the right major/field for me.

I applied to nursing school fresh out of high school on a whim because my parents wanted me to, and also they had stressed the medical field to me since the day I was born. I initially wanted to study business, communications, or go into teaching, but my parents who are in each field respectively, discouraged this as I was "too nice for business" or "teaching isn't enough income".

Fast forward and I have contemplated dropping out of nursing school for the past four semesters. I have clinical experience with my program, but I find that I absolutely dread clinical shifts, want to go home every second of the day, and find myself reluctant to do bed-side care. Furthermore, I find myself uninterested in my actual nursing lectures and classes, I don't have the drive to learn but only to memorize quickly to pass, and move on. I have passed my classes with Bs or higher, but this semester, no matter how much I study the material nothing sticks and I am in jeopardy of academic probation.

At this point, I am only driven to stay in nursing as it has cost me close to $30K and two years and I am halfway done. I doubt I can pass the NCLEX which my school requires, and my only shred of hope is that I like my pediatrics rotation, which is my absolute last semester, but if I do not then its 4 years and $60K wasted.

I have only really stayed at the insistence of my family as I am being lazy and dramatic about my uncertainty and drive and a part of me wonders if this is true and I have not dropped out yet as I do not want to be a failure, disappointment, or embarrassment to my parents. I am also 100% dependent on my parents and I am afraid of the repercussions of even approaching the subject again.

Can any nurses or even students give their absolute honest opinion or advice on this?

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

If you are that unhappy, you need to STOP being dependent upon your parents. Because that dependence gives them control over you and your future.

You are allowing this.

Have you ever had a job? Earning your own money is the only way to stop this dependency and start living YOUR life.

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

It sounds like you know what you want and you just want confirmation. I would not presume to tell someone else what the course of their life should be, however, you are allowing your parents to make decisions for you at this point, and that's also not their job. You will be working in your career for 40-50 years. Does being $30K in debt stink? Sure does, but at least some of your credits could probably transfer over into a different program. Does being $60K in debt with 40+ years of a job you hate stink? Even more than option #1, I would think. Best of luck in deciding what YOUR life/career path should be.

[StrwbryblndRN]

I completely agree with MeanMaryJean.

There are many people who live simple and happy with very little income. It's your life. That also means becoming independent. You may need to live extremely frugal for a bit, but at least you are living the way you want. That is what matters.

[Davey Do]

Hey uncertain!

I admire the honesty and directness in your post. With someone who processes these qualities, plus a pretty dang good amount of intelligence, it's too bad you can't find something in nursing that attracts you.

What is it that causes you to dread clinical shifts? I mean, you're in a top ten program and have history of carrying a high B average without any interest in the subjects! Albeit you're in jeopardy of academic probation, the abilities are clearly there, as nursing classes are not an easy ride.

You, uncertain, are one interesting study. I sure would like to process this whole thing with you, for I think that might help you to get a handle on your feelings enabling you to be more comfortable with whatever decision you wish to make.

Whatever you decide, the best to you, uncertain!

[amhubert]

I've been in that trap of trying to please my parents with my career choice. I say- it's your life. At the end of the day, you are the one that has to live with your choices, so if nursing is not for you (I think you've had enough semesters to know), get out now! Don't worry about they think because it really doesn't affect them (aside from the financial aspect). Find something you are passionate about, and invest in that, never mind the debt as long as your parents are willing to support you. Ideally it would be something that will help you to pay off your debt. Or plan b would be just to find something to be independent for the moment until you've decided what to do. This at least will prevent you from digging yourself deeper.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I am on the fence about your question. If you had something else that you were passionate about, I would advise you to switch majors and follow your heart. However, you seem to be simply drifting.

I would advise you to take a year's "leave of absence" from school and get a job. It might be possible. See what your school says about the possibility. Use the time to get some experience with supporting yourself -- which will develop your sense of self-worth. You need a little self-respect right now. Decide what type of work appeals to you enough to want to do it for a long-term career. Maybe you'll decide to return to nursing -- maybe not. But you will have kept both options open.

For the record -- I hated almost every moment of nursing school -- dreaded going to clinicals -- did not get along with some of my instructors. But I liked being a nurse. It was nursing school I hate, not being a NICU nurse. The two worlds were very different.