Has nursing school given you a backbone?

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I've never exactly been the quiet type but I had trouble standing up to "authority figures". Nursing school has sure changed that!

This weekend, I asked my 8 year old to get his math book. He went in to full panic mode when it wasn't where he left it (DH had moved it from kitchen table so it wouldn't get dirty during supper). He was crying and kept saying, "You don't understand. She's going to be so mad at me on Monday!" Got him calmed down, asked him why he was so upset. He tells me that his teacher yells at him whenever he makes her mad. Not to brag or anything but I am often told that my kids are the best-behaved that people have seen. My son doesn't get in trouble at school. Doesn't have any disciplinary problems at the sitter's. Nothing. So, I ask him about this. Turns out she yells at him any time he misplaces something. Let's remember he's 8 years old.

So, I ask around, other parents with kids in his class. Turns out this teacher had grade 8 students last year (this year grade 3), heads up four different committees in town and I already knew she was the vice principal. Three other kids have reported to their parents that she yells at them too, and these are also well-behaved children. Then, one mother tells me that "Grandma" went to school to bring one kid McDonald's for lunch and arrived just in time to hear the teacher yelling at her grandson.

I go in there bright and early this morning. I tell her about my son's panic attack and him telling me that she yells at him. She denied it, of course. I told her that I believe him, one hundred percent. She says that his disorganization is a problem. I reminded her that he's an 8 year old. She said that his disorganization is "not normal" for a kid in grade 8!!! I reminded her that she was teaching grade 3 this year. She stammered a bit and said that was what she had meant. She continued to deny it and try to turn it into my son being "not normal". I told her that my son is not the only student reporting the yelling to parents, that an adult overheard it also, and once again, that I believe my child. Then she backs up a bit and says that all 8 year olds are disorganized and that it's a problem she's working on with them! But, still insisted that she has never yelled at any child. I let her know that my child was not to be yelled at again... period.

I had purposely left a bag of buttons at home (my son needed them for art in the afternoon) so that I would have a reason to return to the school. She wasn't yelling, but she was definitely annoyed with my son because he couldn't find an assignment sheet from computer class. He kept trying to tell her something but she kept talking over him, telling him to look in his desk again, that all of the kids had handed it in but him and that he had lost it. He kept trying to tell her something, she kept talking over him. I finally stepped in the doorway so that she could see me and told my son to finish his sentence. He told her that he was absent on Friday and that was why he didn't have the assignment sheet - he wasn't there when they were given out. She was all red-faced and said, "Oh okay, then go to my desk and get one."

I'll tell you, it feels good to have the backbone to stand up for my child - but, I really have a problem with her being his teacher. Because she has been so over-worked, they decided that they should hire an afternoon teacher so she can attend to her "administrative duties". They have a daily agenda - the morning teacher (the yeller) writes something negative everyday about being disorganized and the afternoon teacher writes something positive everyday about what a wonderful kid he is! And it isn't just grade three that she's having trouble with - I've been hearing horror stories from parents whose kids were in her grade 8 class last year.

I suppose that teaching is no different than nursing - there are those who love it, and those who are just in it for the paycheck. But, my kid isn't going to suffer because she doesn't like her job. My husband and I have made it clear to our son that we believe him 100% and that as long as he is doing his best, we are proud of him. We have also told him that there is NO reason for this teacher to yell at him and that if she does it again, he is to tell one of us or his sitter as soon as he gets out of school. But, I still worry about sending him back to that hostile environment tomorrow. Any suggestions?

P.S. - sorry it was so long.

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Specializes in Gerontological, cardiac, med-surg, peds.

I think the teacher's behavior was horrible. Big question--does he need to REMAIN in this negative, potentially abusive environment? Hurray for you for standing up for your son!

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Unfortunately, yes... with over 50% of the parents wanting to transfer their kids to the other grade 3 classroom, there simply isn't room so the school isn't allowing even one transfer. If she yells at my kid even once more, I will be going to the school board with half a dozen other parents in tow.

As a student myself, I KNOW that I wouldn't be able to function if my instructor was yelling at me. I'd become so nervous and anxious that I would make mistakes instead of learning anything!

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Don't let up on this.... The kids at this age can have their self-esteem destroyed. It took me two years to un-do the damage one butthead teacher did to my daughter in 2nd grade. My daughter is severely hearing impaired...wears hearing aids, etc. The teacher insisted repeatedly that my daughter really could hear and just wasn't paying attention, needed to be psych tested, maybe she has ADHD...you name it. Three years ago and I still get furious thinking about it. For a full year afterward, my daughter cried all the time, responded often with "I can't do this because I'm stupid", etc.

So...bottom line, don't let the same thing happen to your son. There is nothing that makes people pay attention faster than a red-hot, pissed-off mother. Hell hath no fury.... unleash it!

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LOL - yes, hell hath no fury... and I am a mama grizzly bear!

I do know what you mean. One bad teacher in the third grade ruined my brother's entire elementary and secondary school experiences. My mother didn't stand up to the teacher at first - teacher said he was misbehaving, mother believed it (which is understandable). After months of this nonsense, the school board hired a private, unbiased investigator. She sat in the back of the classroom for a week. At the end of the investigation it was revealed that the teacher was "nit-picking". But, it was too late, the damage had been done. I do not wish for the same thing to happen to my son. I WILL be keeping an eye on this woman. The principal already thinks I am an overprotective mother - know what I think, I wouldn't be a mother if I wasn't overprotective! It's my JOB, my DUTY, my OBLIGATION, and my PLEASURE to ensure that my children are safe in every environment they are exposed to, not just my own home.

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It's great that you're an effective and involved advocate for your child. As a parent myself, I can't imagine being any other way. Overprotective? No. Kids and adults are *not* on a level playing field, especially in a situation where it's a teacher or other authority figure. Good for you for letting them know what time it is.

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I APPLAUD you for your actions! I was sitting here getting angrier and angrier reading of your child's treatment. If I ever heard my twins were being yelled at......GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr:(

Bestest of luck to you in going to the school board. I hope yours is more caring than the one in our district but I do think you are doing the right thing.

{CLAP, CLAP}

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Specializes in Adult Med-Surg, Rehab, and Ambulatory Care.

I got really upset reading your post, because it made me think of my own daughter, who is also 8 in third grade. These poor kids can't defend themselves against people like this, and it royally ticks me off that there are teachers like that out there. Go to the school board. Type up a nice long letter describing everything that has happened. Talk to other parents that have the same complaint, and convince them to speak out as well. Then FOLLOW UP ON IT.

Good luck, I hope you can get your son out of this situation or else have the situation (teacher's attitude) ADJUSTED. Stick to your guns, girl.

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Originally posted by LydiaGreen

It's my JOB, my DUTY, my OBLIGATION, and my PLEASURE to ensure that my children are safe in every environment they are exposed to, not just my own home.

I love the way you stated this!! :)

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Why have you not already gone to the principal or the board??? This teacher obviously should not be in that environment! Why should the students leave?? The teacher should go!

Good for you for standing up to her, but I think you (and the other parents) should be filing complaints. This is not a one time thing.

Good luck!

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I think you did the right thing and if this issue doesn't satisfactorly clear up I think you should take it to the school board or whomever.

Reading your story made me think of myself in grade school. I was a shy, quiet kid, never got into trouble and always did well in school, but man, I don't know where my head was, I was always forgetting to take assignments home, loosing stuff - literally minutes after receiving it.

I guess most grade schoolers and even middle schoolers are like that.

I agree, a teacher like this can really hurt children's self esteem.

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Good for you for getting right in there!! I've been amazed myself at how broad my shoulders get when it comes to my kids. I'm a quiet and reserved person, but right is right and wrong is wrong. My kids are teenagers now, but a similar situation happened to my son when he was in second grade. The teacher was obviously working toward retirement to collect her pension and was burned out from teaching. She had run out of patience for young children and was very short tempered with them - the same thing, yelling, belittling, pulling the girls' pony tails and yanking their arm in back of them when they got out of line in single file down the hall. It got to the point where my son was petrified to go to school, literally clinging to the door jam, never mind getting on the bus, I had to drive him to school and even that was a major challenge. Anyway, we finally got all what was going on out of him, assuring him countless times that he would not get in trouble for telling us and nothing bad would happen. The kid was petrified as a result of the fear she was instilling in these kids. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I went to the principal and told him what was going on in this woman's class. I assured him that if something was not done to correct the way she handles her students, that I would go straight to the school board with my problem. The principal was very gracious and and nice about the whole thing, but guess what - within a week, she could have received a gold star in behavior, turned her attitude right around, and the rest of the school year went fine. What I'm trying to get at is, these teachers are not God, they have plenty of superiors over them who can give them the boot in a heart beat, and such treatment of our children should not, and will not, be tolerated! Go to the authorities you need to go to, they will listen and help is out thre. Good luck with everything, stay strong!:)

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