Condom Teaching Plan for Middle Schoolers?

luvmy3kids · Sep 29, 2007

I'm probably in my own little boat on this one but... I think we need to look at the big picture here. Teens are having sex. They all may not be having sex in middle school, but many of them will be having it soon after. (And as we well know, some of them do have sex in middle school). We also know that A LOT of teens think that oral sex is not a form of sex and therefore is safe to do.

I agree, I do not want anyone else teaching my child about how to put on a condom. But... I also know my children, and I know my relationship with them. I know what kind of mother I am and what kind of mother I intend to be. I have already spoken (in general non-invasive terms) to my dd about how babies are made and born. She is 8. I explained this to her at the age of 7 when she started asking me questions. I would much rather her know it now before someone else starts to tell her something she shouldn't know....

So... putting that aside, anything she finds out from someone else, hopefully she will either already have learned from me, or will feel comfortable enough to come to me and ask any questions she may have.

However, not all parents are like most of us here. Some don't care about their children, some are too embarrassed to explain the basics, and some are too naive to accept the fact that kids are having sex at very young ages these days.

I'm all for the facts. I think you should tell it like it is and show them what they need to know. I also think you should explain abstinence and how important it is to understand what abstinence can mean to a person at such a young age. I like the idea of having them ask questions on a piece of paper (and throwing in some of yours too).

It's just sad that it has come to this. I hope that the parents do know what is being taught in their school, and I hope that they are at least trying to get ahead of the game by having a close relationship with their children and talking (and listening) to them.

Good luck to you. Let us know how it goes and what you decide to do.

Jolie, BSN · Sep 29, 2007

I promise, I am not trying to piss anyone off here.
This school district is not in my city..I have to commute an hour, its a little town on the border of TX and NM and this area has INCREDIBLY high teen pregnancy rates (including 13 yr olds, etc). This is the first semester they are handing out free condoms and anyone who recieves one has to watch a video about it (they gave me access to these materials).
I am NOT wanting to do anything such as putting a condom on a banana or anything like that. I am hoping to get away with doing "respect yourself" activities and maybe just play the little condom video at the end (I havent watched it yet, so I'll have to see).

Sorry. Didn't mean to sound like I was jumping on you. I'm incensed about the situation you are being put in to. Any school that has an active sex ed program for middle school darn well better have an approved curriculum, which they should be making available to you as the basis for your lesson plan. The teacher is the one who knows the students, their level of knowledge and maturity, their education needs, and what the school board has approved in terms of curriculum.

I can't help but wonder if the condom lesson is new this year due to the distribution program, and the teacher is trying to scum out of having to teach it him/herself. If so, that is just wrong, and you are being taken advantage of. That way when angry parents come in and confront the teacher over an inappropriate lesson, s/he can claim that it was all the doing of the student nurse. Without written guidelines, including the district's policy on condom education, I wouldn't touch this with a 10 foot pole.

Respect for self and others, yes. Waiting until marriage, yes. The mechanics of condoms, no.

Alternator81 · Sep 29, 2007

You know, I'm a pretty liberal person, but I think those kids are too young to be learning about condoms.

luvmy3kids · Sep 29, 2007

Sorry. Didn't mean to sound like I was jumping on you. I'm incensed about the situation you are being put in to. Any school that has an active sex ed program for middle school darn well better have an approved curriculum, which they should be making available to you as the basis for yur lesson plan. The teacher is the one who knows the students, their level of knowledge and maturity, their education needs, and what the school board has approved in terms of curriculum.
I can't help but wonder if the condom lesson is new this year due to the distribution program, and the teacher is trying to scum out of having to teach it him/herself. If so, that is just wrong, and you are being taken advantage of. That way when angry parents come in and confront the teacher over an inappropriate lesson, s/he can claim that it was all the doing of the student nurse. Without written guidelines, including the district's policy on condom education, I wouldn't touch this with a 10 foot pole.
Respect for self and others, yes. Waiting until marriage, yes. The mechanics of condoms, no.

I agree.

Jolie, BSN · Sep 29, 2007

Teaching abstinence is NOT SMART.

I respectfully disagree. If abstinence is never presented, then you are not giving the children the full range of options. I agree that contraception education is important also, but not as a substitute for abstinence, and only in the proper setting. Teaching the application of a condom to a mixed-sex group of sixth graders is simply not appropriate.

smk1, LPN · Sep 29, 2007

Send out a permission slip with a basic explanation of what will be in the presentation. Anyone who doesn't want their kid to attend can keep them home. Problem solved.

P.S I have to agree with whoever said that the school teaching abstinence isn't smart. That is the kind of teaching that should come from home. The kids that need to be targeted with this info are probably NOT the ones who have that teaching coming from home, so a nurse briefly telling them not to have sex when everything else in the world around them says otherwise isn't going to amount to much. Ideally ALL of this type of teaching should come from home, but obviously this is not happening in many homes so I don't see a problem with the school addressing a safety, health issue with students who may need this reminder and information. Again those who don't want their kids exposed can keep them home. (although most of the kids have already been exposed to this info and just have chosen not to tell their parents who think they are still watching Nickelodean lol).

cjulian214 · Sep 30, 2007

OK everyone, tell me what you think...

I am trying to incorporate the following ideas into a teaching plan, so help!

First, I want to have a segment where I split up the kids into a few small groups and have them fill out a short hand out that asks what age they think its appropriate to do things, such as hold hands, french kiss, date, have sex... and then do a short little comparison, discussion...

And I also like the idea of having the kids split into small groups and write a short script (like, they have 10-15 min) like a teen movie where two people are in a relationship and talking about sex, and then as a group talk a little bit about if the teens talked about sex history, birth control options, etc...and who either started the conversation or pressured the other to have sex...

I think these two things sort of engage the students attention, and then I can incorporate teaching measures into it. The nurse said I can do the teaching plan over two days or something if I wanted to.

What do you think and how should I organize it???

Thanks

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Sep 30, 2007

The timing of this discussion is rather interesting..........just last night, my 16-year-old son told me that the local police were handing out condoms at the varsity football game! I'm no prude, but I have to admit I was shocked and more than a little disturbed by this---I KNOW a lot of kids his age and younger are having sex, and I know not all parents are as open about these matters as my husband and I were. I'm just not sure I agree with the idea of cops standing around a high-school stadium giving out condoms........it's like we adults are saying, "You're not supposed to be having sex, but we know you're going to do it anyway so here's something to keep you out of trouble".

I feel very fortunate that my four kids have been, for the most part, responsible about these things. My now-25-year-old waited till she'd been in a committed relationship for over a year (she was 20 when she lost her virginity to the man she is still with); the 22-year-old asked me for birth control when she was 16 and was preparing to make love with a boy she'd been dating for six months; the 19-year-old didn't have sex until he was 17, and he is very conscientious about condom use; and the youngest has been "going out" with the same girl since their freshman year, and they're committed to abstinence till they're out of school.

No, it's not the picture of virginal perfection, but at least they were taught right from wrong, and despite plenty of peer pressure each of them waited until they'd been in a relationship for some time. So when one of our city's finest hands a high-school junior a condom, it sends a conflicting message..........but MIDDLE SCHOOL?! I think I'd have burst a blood vessel if a teacher had showed my kids how to put on a rubber at an age when they were still building forts in the back yard. I'm sorry you are stuck with this assignment, and wouldn't wish it on anyone; I wish you luck and think that someday when you are a parent, you may very well question why you were made to do this.

indigo girl · Sep 30, 2007

Hey all! I am having to prepare a teaching plan involving condom use/safe sex for MIDDLE SCHOOLERS next week during my pediatric school nurse clinicals. I'm a little nervous about this, because back when I was in middle school, we giggled when someone said "member", and at this middle school, they are handing out free condoms and want teaching plans done. Any suggestions on how to present this material to such a giggly, take-nothing-seriously age group? Its a combination male/female group...
Thanks!

At first, I was shocked that it was middle schoolers you were talking about.

But, the more I think about it...

Reality check, yes, some of them are already engaging in sexual behaviors without benefit of any kind of guidance about safety or pregnancy prevention.

So, do we ignore this fact?

In a perfect world, all parents would be responsible for teaching this

information. But, it is not happening, and statistics prove it.

Allow parents to opt out, but notify them of what is going to be taught.

I wish you luck, and bless you for trying to make a difference.

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Sep 30, 2007

stats: the sexual behavior of young adolescents

look at this website:

how do you score? – think you know all there is to know about teen pregnancy? take the quiz and find out!

has great info with video test and questions to ease into discussion about condom use. demonstration of condom can be done with application over 2 fingers---memory i dreged up from health ed clsss.

vashtee, RN · Sep 30, 2007

OK everyone, tell me what you think...
I am trying to incorporate the following ideas into a teaching plan, so help!
First, I want to have a segment where I split up the kids into a few small groups and have them fill out a short hand out that asks what age they think its appropriate to do things, such as hold hands, french kiss, date, have sex... and then do a short little comparison, discussion...
And I also like the idea of having the kids split into small groups and write a short script (like, they have 10-15 min) like a teen movie where two people are in a relationship and talking about sex, and then as a group talk a little bit about if the teens talked about sex history, birth control options, etc...and who either started the conversation or pressured the other to have sex...
I think these two things sort of engage the students attention, and then I can incorporate teaching measures into it. The nurse said I can do the teaching plan over two days or something if I wanted to.
What do you think and how should I organize it???
Thanks

I approve of teaching middle schoolers about safer sex practices. I have always been very open with my kids about sex - in fact the only thing I will NOT discuss is specifics of my own sex life.

Have you considered role playing to empower girls to say no? I think most girls having sex in Junior High are doing it to please their boyfriends, and not necessarily because they really want to have sex.

queenjean · Sep 30, 2007

OK everyone, tell me what you think...
I am trying to incorporate the following ideas into a teaching plan, so help!
First, I want to have a segment where I split up the kids into a few small groups and have them fill out a short hand out that asks what age they think its appropriate to do things, such as hold hands, french kiss, date, have sex... and then do a short little comparison, discussion...
And I also like the idea of having the kids split into small groups and write a short script (like, they have 10-15 min) like a teen movie where two people are in a relationship and talking about sex, and then as a group talk a little bit about if the teens talked about sex history, birth control options, etc...and who either started the conversation or pressured the other to have sex...
I think these two things sort of engage the students attention, and then I can incorporate teaching measures into it. The nurse said I can do the teaching plan over two days or something if I wanted to.
What do you think and how should I organize it???
Thanks

I think you are trying to do way tooo much in your teaching plan. I also wonder how prepared you are to get responses that are vulgar or off base. How will you handle it when someone says on a first date they like the girl to perform oral sex? And you know they aren't going to say it like that--are you prepared to deal with base and explicit language out of the mouths of kids? Are you going to address that or move on? Either way you handle it, if you don't handle it just right, you are going to lose them for the rest of the presentation.

Kids also mess around a lot, it takes them forever to get organized. 10-15minutes to write a short script--they won't even have the names of the characters decided yet.

I really think you need to keep it short and simple.

I have a middle schooler, and here is what I would want her to get out of such a presentation.

Where to buy/obtain condoms.

What do the different types mean.

What condoms protect against.

What they don't protect against.

What happens when someone says the condom is uncomfortable (I think this one is a genuine concern. When my dh and I used condoms, I HATED them. I would mention that they come in different sizes and textures, and that you can add lube -- mention appropriate lubes that won't break down the latex -- to make it more comfortable. Encourage them to find a brand or type that they are comfortable with).

Who should carry the condoms. (Boys and girls--both are responsible for sexual activity)

How to carry condoms (not in the wallet or in the glove box of the car--heat breaks them down over time and makes them less effective).

Why condoms have such a high failure rate--addressing these issues may decrease the failure rate.

How to use them properly (your video might cover this, pun intended)

Why do I need a condom if I am on the pill.

What if I'm allergic to latex.

Remember, your teaching plan is not about birth control, sexual activity, etc. It sounds like your teaching plan is about condom usage. Keep your objectives simple and narrow.

Here is personally how I would go about it. Instead of lecturing, I would create a true/false quiz that would hit most of the points I wanted to address. I'd hand them out, give the kids five minutes to answer, and then go over them. I'd ask for volunteers to answer the questions, but I wouldn't force anyone to answer. Use each question to illustrate a point. Frequently ask "any questions? Any comments?"

You might also give them some statistics. General statistics like chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, and HIV infection rates among sexually active teens, and how effective condoms are against those infections. Teen pregnancy rates and how effective condoms are. Compare "ideal use" vs "real use" effectiveness rates of condoms.

After that, I show them several different types of condoms. I'd open them in front of them to show them they weren't used (you know they'll joke about it anyhow). I'd pass around the condoms and the packages so that they know what the packages look like, and what the different kinds look and feel like. Expect lots of giggles and comments at this part. I wouldn't let it get too out of hand, but I wouldn't clamp down on it too hard, either.

If you want to do a script of sorts, how about putting them in small groups and then assigning them different scenarios that they have to role play. Different scenarios can be: how to tell someone to put on a condom (as in, stopping making out long enough to tell them, hey, you have a condom?); how to handle your partner pressuring you to have sex without a condom; how to convince your best friend he needs to use a condom. Depending on the age and maturity level of the students, though, this type of exercise might be pretty uncomfortable for some students.

Another idea, instead of doing the roll playing, would be to have them as a large group brainstorm excuses people might use to not use condoms, and then they can break into small groups for a very specific time period (like, 10 minutes or less) and come up with ideas on things to say or do to counter those excuses.

Finally, I'd end by giving them some written pieces of information. Where to get free condoms. Where to buy condoms and lube, and how much those items might cost. Where to get more information about birth control, including abstinence, hormonal, and barrier methods. Where to get additional information about STDs.

Go to your local health department and ask for broshures/handouts on STDs in teens. You can also ask for written information regarding other forms of contraception. The education nurse there should have some pointers on how to teach this subject to this age group, and if she has time she may be able to help you out a bit.

Give everyone a handout packet--if they don't want it, they can toss it. But maybe some of them will take it home and learn something about avoiding pregnancy and STDs, and how to avoid sexual intercourse when they feel they aren't ready. Every packet should include a number to a local domestic abuse/rape hot line, as well as the contact information for the local health department, and what services they provide (including cost and confidentiality).

I also just wanted to throw out there that you will probably have some gay students in the class, so are you going to address safe sex among lesbians and gays? My middle schooler identifies as lesbian, though she's not out to everyone--how would your presentation look to her? Would it seem like a complete waste of her time, or would you address barrier methods among same sex partners, too?

Anyway, I hope my comments are helpful to you. I think that is a pretty big and serious assignment for a nursing student; I'm a little surprised that the school nurse, the administration, and your instructors think this is a good idea. I'm glad to see this sort of teaching done, though, and I hope you enjoy it!

A couple more thoughts-- you might collaborate with the school nurse, maybe give her a run down of your presentation, to see if she thinks it is appropriate and if she has any suggestions. Also, it sounds like you need to provide all your materials in English and Spanish, if possible.