Are You Being Bullied in the Classroom

[Jayfa]

Hi guys

I had a situation in class yesterday where i was the victim of bullying by a number of other students. Briefly, they were making fun of my level of class participation. It was not in fun - it was nasty!

I have a class presentation due next week and am considering making class bullying my subject. The tutor has been advised.

So, all you students and new graduates out there, I'm doing a survey on whether you've been bullied in class and, if so, how did you deal with it?

I'm hoping that I can get my message accross to these people without having to involve the Institute and without confrontation.

I would appreciate your input. Thanks.

[linzz]

I hope that one day someone does some valid research on how bullying affects the care that patients receive. How can the bullied nurse provide good care if she is watching her back all the time. I think that all this bullying just plays right into the hands of lousy managers. How can we stand up to them with all the chaos bullies cause.

[amybethf]

Bullying, I think is a defense mechanism, a way to lower a person's anxiety (the definition). We all use them, and only one, suppression is conscious. I think these 4 women feel inferior and so they bully as a way to make themselves feel better. When and if they graduate, how are these ppl going deal with the stresses of being a nurse and all that it entails or just life in general?! We all come across situations where we feel inadequate but to become angry and direct it at a person is just wrong (it is displacement). The best thing to do is ignore (unless it becomes personal) because that is what the offender wants: a reaction. They are seeking out attention whether positive or negative. I mean you can't really change a person's behavior, but you can decide how you are going to react or not react. And I do believe in karma. Somewhere down the line, a situation will come about that will force ppl like this to face their problem (hopefully an authority figure) and perhaps they will change. And if not, oh well, it's not your problem anyhow.

Just keep your nose to the grindstone and do not allow ppl like this to suck away your positive energy. In nursing school, you really only have time to worry about yourself and performance, so pay them no mind. Soon enough, you will never see these ppl again and you'll be glad you didn't allow yourself to be wrapped up in their wicked game. And it's also a tool you can use in future similar situations.

Please keep us posted on your presentation - I think it's ingenious way to beat them at their own game! Good Luck!

[squeakykitty]

I was bullied some 20+ years ago in high school. Last January, one of them was in the checkout line behind me, and he openly admitted to having been an exit-only orifice during high school. There was another toxic little sociopath that made my life miserable. I don't know where he is today, but somehow I doubt he changed.

I never ran into any during nursing school.

[mrs.captain.kangaroo]

I was bullied in clinicals last semester by a fellow clinical classmate. Both she and I are older students, the younger students were great and a lot more mature. She was always full of put downs for my clinical performance but actually she wasn't any better.

I confronted this person and told her how her comments made me feel, she said sorry, the next day she came back with some more put downs.

I avoid this person whenever possible but it isn't easy as we have a small program.

I'm no expert of course but don't see how a bully would be a good nurse. Aren't we supposed to care for our fellow human beings as nurses (and I believe that would include classmates as well) - pretty basic for a nurse IMO.

Know you are not alone in being bullied and that bullies have emotional problems.

[suziesunshine]

I was bulled as an older student when I went back to school for my MSN and was bullied by a nurse practitioner in a VA clinic. It started when she began rolling her eyes when introducing me to her patients, next she began making rude comments, next she blamed me because somebody was taking their antihypertensive drug 2 tabs at a time instead of one tab b.i.d. I reminded her that this was the first time I met the patient so she should have caught this long ago.

The last straw was that she began yelling at me. I left clinical, called the school and told them that I was refusing to go back there. I advised them to find me another clinical site or I would bring suit against the school. The next week, another preceptor was found for me who made the rest of my stay a joy at that clinic.

The bullying nurse dressed as if she was cleaning her house. On one occasion she came to work with paint adhering to her nails because she was "working on her house" over the weekend. The Monday after Halloween, she came in with red hands and said it was from the paint from the Halloween party she attended over the weekend. The lady was 43 at the time and interestingly, painted herself for a Halloween party.

In conclusion, I would strongly encourage people to stand up for themselves. Please don't tolerate inappropriate behavior for one minute. Talk to the school and the facility and point out inappropriate behavior and advise them that you will not tolerate it.

We are in the era of evidence based practice which should also translate into zero tolerance for bullying behavior because it was traditional at one time.

[Eirene, ASN, RN]

Oh man, posts like this fire me up.

In my class we have a clique who I secretly call (in my own head, of course), "the blondes." They are all what people would think of as gorgeous-- tall, never-ending hair, slim, beautiful big eyes.

They ridicule all different people; call them names in class, make fun of their questions, etc.

One day I finally told them to stop being such bi*ches. I think they were shocked. They've mellowed out, but not much. I don't know why, but they've never messed with me.

It's amazing how such pretty people can become ugly just through their personalities.

I was bullied by a clinical instructor last quarter. It was awful. I felt so helpless. I don't think I've ever been so miserable in my life.

It amazes me how I've grown as a person. 15 or so years ago I would have laid them out without thinking twice about it.

Hang in there girlie.

xoxo

[BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN]

I recently found out that someone in of my classes is being bullied. I was waiting for it to come up in clinical, and it did. No one seems to know who the victim is, and no one seems to see it happening in class. One of the professors brought it up to the group and made a general statement about it. I am not lecturing this group this semester, so I have not witnessed it first hand. We have a lot of young and silly students in that class. And I say that not to insult them in any way, they'd be great to hang out with, they are fun kids. But they need to learn to contain it in the classroom, and need to know when a joke turns into something hurtful.

As a student, admittedly, my friends and I had certain people we secretly made fun of. But the key was 'secretly'. I was a kid in nursing school (went straight out of HS), but my frineds were not. Who did we make fun of? The know it alls. And the ones who ask a lot of questions. I see it while i'm up there lecturing, the eye rolling and the whispering when certain people speak....ones who seem to dominate the class.

In our society, is seems to be a part of what we do. We love to point out the shortcomings of others. It makes us feel better about ouselves. I'm not saying it's right, but it is what it is.

[Ruffles 1]

All of you are correct in the way bullies act, but remember they have low self esteem. It really does not help the nursing profession when people act that way.

[Chixie]

I was bullied by my original group so badly that i asked to be put back to the next group-Ive had to wait for 3 months and then repeat 8 weeks of class- The people in my first group were a lot older than me 35+ yet they were acting like small children. It saddens me that people bully others, nursing staff need to support each other.

[Jules A, MSN]

I haven't read all the posts but wanted to add that unless it is an instructor doing the bullying, in which case my heart goes out to you, at our mature ages I would hope that we are independent and self-assured enough to ignore them and focus on our school work.

I've been in two nursing programs now with a over 200 students of all ages/backgrounds and while there were plenty of negative people who liked to make snarky comments I can't say any of us were actually bullied in the sense I think of like a school child who is terrified to go to school because of mean classmates. I'm a grown woman and if someone tried making me feel bad about myself I'd have to tell them to **** off. Maybe I'm missing something.

[moncj66]

yes, especially in clinical...one of my classmates have reported me to the clinical instructor because i supposedly don't interact with patients.and always pointing out things wrong with my care plan.like who made you boss..im not even communicating with her..she just takes my stuff and starts looking through it. ..i can understand important mistakes like med errors or so, but making up lies b/c u dont like me, is low.....I was told that nurses are catty and jealous alot, but this is ridiculous..we should struggle and fight together...not try to bring ppl down...well, my strength has surely been tested this semester..thats all i can say..

[moncj66]

nurse educator: agreed..im pretty sure im one of those too..that every1 always whispering when i talk...its soo sad that we have to put others down to make urself feel good...