You and I
Nurse to patient, two humans so alike, but with views so different we sometimes feel like we are each from a different universe. But You and I, Nurse to patient, we have similar struggles, hopes, dreams and fears. We both have feelings and thoughts we want to share, and voices to be heard. But, because we are both human, we can attempt to hear and understand one another; You and I.
You feel hurt from a bruise, or an infection, and maybe it is your cancer.
You feel alone in your world of illness, no matter how much support you have.
You feel uncomfortable in the narrow stretcher caging you from world outside.
You yearn for some real food, not the hard sandwiches we serve you.
You wait as we tend to the sicker
You long for the comfort of your own bed and warmth of you loving family.
You lust after the world where you breath with comfort and with ease, wear your own clothes and walk where you please.
You feel like an object on a person in uniform's to do list.
You sometimes hear their laughter from across the room.
You think they have forgotten of your sick sorry state behind the curtain, chained to an IV pole, lying in a narrow stretcher.
You yearn to share in some laughter, and ponder at how they can do so in such an environment.
You wonder if they care or even remember you are there.
You sometimes don’t see your provider for a while.
You see them all focused another patient, giving them so much time of day. As,
You remain lying, an object under the white sheets, yearning for the freedom of beyond the curtain separating,
You from others and from the exciting sunny world out out there.
You ponder whether I hear the loud thoughts in your head, or if i hear your feelings talking through your emotions.
You wait for me to answer your calling and doubt whether I even heard.
I hear your call.
I am, but in another room pumping the chest of one who has no beat to feed a brain to wonder or feel..
I want to heed to you call.
I want to listen to your thoughts
I am only one person, and you are but one many under my care.
I wish to be able to tackle all of your needs at once, but,
I am but one person with only 2 arm and 2 legs, limited to the abilities of a human being.
I sometimes think, I am super human, but to attend to your need I must admit I am but only human.
I too yearn for someone to hear me. My family, my friends, my partner, and those that
I have left for the night to tend to your needs.
I sometimes wish that they too hear my call from behind the bags under my eyes.
I wish they knew that I would love to spend all my time with them each night. But,
I have a responsibility to you; to be there when you call, when you cry, or when your heart stops beating and you cannot breath.
I leave my own bed to care for you in your stretcher.
I leave others to feed my family as I offer food to yours.
I sometimes run out of breath excusing my absence to those in my own life as I leave them to rush some breath into you.
I hope they too can understand my calling to reach out and hold on to your life, whilst,
I attempt to balance my loved ones within my own life at the same time.
I laugh from behind the nurse station so I can stay awake and keep going to care for you so you can laugh again too.
I admire your strength through your illness and it makes me want do all I can for you.
I like you, yearn for a life beyond the call bells and ringing alarms
I like you, wish my desires can be heard by those at home who I leave to care for you.
I like you, fear and anguish over the threat of death looming across the room.
I like you, wish for more laughter but understanding too.
I like you, hope you can hear my calling to help you, as you call for me for help you too.
I like you, must balance a struggle, to keep you alive and to keep my life alive.
I like you, am hungry for the sunny world outside the hospital doors.
I am not like you, because I can breath on my own, feed myself and walk outside at the end of a shift to see my loved ones. But I do hear you, I attempt to feel your pain and heed to your needs. I have hopes just like you, to get better. I too, yearn for others to understand the world that runs within the doors of the place that we spend our days; with the monitors, the meds, the pain and the struggle between life and death.
I am like you, because just like you, my heart beats too; my body feels pain and hopes for cures and yearns for the understanding of others.
I may not be everything you are; you brave fighter. But we are similar you and I. We both have feelings, dreams and fears. We both struggle with our own world and with the world outside the one that encloses those that are ill. You may wear a gown and I may wear scrubs, but inside we both have the heart and a soul of a human; who yearns for life and fears for death. So you and I, hearts and souls, let's grapple the fight of life, conquer the threat of death, and win the struggles of illness together.
You and I.
About dpgRN, BSN, MSN, RN
Devorah Goldberg, BS, RN, is an Emergency Room nurse in NYC . Ms. Goldberg is a graduate student in the Adult Nurse Practitioner program at Hunter-Bellevue College of Nursing and received her baccalaureate degree in nursing from Adelphi University in 2013. Devorah has been blogging about some of her nursing adventures since she began her career in 2013. Instagram: @strivingnovice Blog:StrivingNovice.blogspot.com
Joined: May '14; Posts: 13; Likes: 89