Would you feel betrayed???

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in ER, Teaching, HH, CM, QC, OB, LTC.

my dept just posted a supervisor position. my friend told me that she has applied for this position. at that time she asked me if i was going to apply. i told her i needed more time to study the job discription. i am interested in the job, but hesitate to apply. i fear that she will feel betrayed. just a little back ground: i have more experience in this type of position, plus a higher level of education.

i'm not sure a job is somthing worth losing a friend over.

just wondering what others would think/feel?????

thanks in advance for your advise!

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

Since she asked you, and you didn't immediately say no, I don't see how she would feel "betrayed". I doubt she is the only one who applied, so it wouldn't automatically be her job anyway.

If you want it, go for it. What if someone neither of you like ends up being over both of you? Would you be able to treat her fairly as her supervisor, would she treat you well if she gets it?

If the friendship can't stand up to amicable competition, and feeling glad for the other's good fortune, it isn't a very deep relationship.

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my dept just posted a supervisor position. my friend told me that she has applied for this position. at that time she asked me if i was going to apply. i told her i needed more time to study the job discription. i am interested in the job, but hesitate to apply. i fear that she will feel betrayed. just a little back ground: i have more experience in this type of position, plus a higher level of education.

i'm not sure a job is somthing worth losing a friend over.

just wondering what others would think/feel?????

thanks in advance for your advise!

all's fair in love and war. i would apply, but i would tell my friend that i applied, and that if she gets the job, i would respect her and be honored to work for her. let the best man or woman win!

oldiebutgoodie

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Specializes in Med/Surg, ER and ICU!!!.

I just went thru a similar situation at work. Asst. Director position became open and 3 of our finest RNs applied for the position. We are a VERY team oriented floor. It is amazing. Anyway, I was on the peer committee and all 3 would have made wonderful AD's. When one was chosen, the other 2 gave her a big hug, and fully supported her the entire way. One of the questions in the peer committee was would they leave the floor if not picked, and why would they leave. Every single on of them stated they would be proud to work under one another, and there would be some hurt feelings.

But I think there would have been even if an "outsider" had been placed. No one likes rejection, and in some ways, not becoming AD is rejection.

Good luck. And just because you have more experience and higher education does not mean you will automatically get the job. Out of the 5 candadites, the new AD had the least amount of experience, and the lowest education requirement. We apply attitude, not skills. Skills can be learned. Attitude usually cant.

Good luck.

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Specializes in 2 years as CNA.

I too agree with everyone else. Especially since she asked you if were going to apply and you didn't say no.

I personally have not had to go up against a friend yet, but my DH has. He did not get the promotion and neither did his friend but they supported eachother. And I know if his friend would have gotten it that my DH would have been truly happy for him.

I say if you really are interested in the position then go for it. Your friend should understand. You can not let things just pass you by because you are afraid you will hurt someone's feelings. In life it is very rare that everyone will be happy at the same time. You have been very respectful of your friend in this situation and you seem to be very caring but do not be a push over either. You can't be overbearing but you can't let people get their way all the time. I say go for it!!!:lol2:

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Specializes in LTC , SDC and MDS certified (3.0).

My husdand ALWAYS says"Don't make friends at work" which is really hard not too but a trure friend would understand. I had a friend who was my aide (I was LPN) who later became my ADON . We ALWAYS had a unspoken line. I was great!! Never did the two interact. WE never discussed the two we just had i guess un unspoken understanding! I now have my RN and no longer work with her and I miss her. I wish you luck it is very hard to work with friends or it can be the best thing in the world. Let us know what happens

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I would not apply. There are to many nursing jobs out there to go after one that your friend has applied to. You didn't mention how good of a friend she is though. Is it just a working relationship or do you socialize outside of work. If it is just a working relationship I would say to go for it. :trout:

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

Yes, you should definately apply. You already told her that you needed time to decide. You need to do what's right for you and shouldn't feel impeded by a friendship, as this is business. Friendships can be fleeting, and you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells, if you do you will keep having to. You might end up very resentful down the road by being this submissive to your friend. If the friendship can't survive you applying for the job, then it would definately fall apart in the future. I've learned this from experience.

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Specializes in SICU.

I would apply for it, but be sure to let her know that you did. Tell her you will support her 100% if she gets the job, and that you hope to get the same from her if you get the job.

Good luck to you, and let us know how it turns out!

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Specializes in OB, NP, Nurse Educator.

Is a job worth losing a friend over? Yes, if it is a job you really wanted. And if you lost this person over this were they really your friend?

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Specializes in ER/EHR Trainer.

If you are qualified, and interested you should apply. I agree with other posters, there are probably several people applying. If you would be happy for your friend if she was chosen for the position, I would hope she would be happy for you.

I would definately let her know you are considering applying and wish her well.

Good luck to you

Maisy

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