Working five 12hr shifts a week - page 2

I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr... Read More

  1. by   barbie90210
    [font=book antiqua]since you haven't had kids yet perhaps you and your husband can use this time to come up with another plan. personally i don't really think it's safe. in nursing you aren't working with factory parts - you are responsible for people's lives and have to respond to emergencies. it isn't like a desk job and is demanding on many levels. if nurses do not take care of themselves they burn out physically and mentally. there is always another way if you look for it!
  2. by   Spidey's mom
    My husband grew up on a farm where they were up at 4:30 a.m. to milk to cows. He farmed as an adult and has worked as a logger too. He gets up at 3 a.m. and works until 6:30 p.m. 5 days a week. He has been doing this for over 30 years.

    He is not burned out. He had lots of time with the kids. Right now he is working a job that entails him living out of town about an hour and a half from here. We go over during the week and our 5 year old rides in the logging truck with him. He and our daughter and son spent the whole weekend together cutting wood. He and our daughter cooked dinner for me last night.

    I work part-time now, two days a week because my dh is a private contractor and medical insurance is too expensive to buy so I work simply for that.

    I was a stay-at-home mom when my older kids were young - I highly recommend it and it is doable.

    And I think there actually may be something to men being able to work longer hours . . . or maybe it is just men who grew up on farms.

    Good luck!!

    steph
  3. by   NaomieRN
    I would not want that for my husband. Working 5-12 hr shifts is insane for any human being. If he can do it once in a while, that would be better, but every week uh uh. Dont you want your husband to also help you at home? How is he going to do that when he is working 60 hours a week?
    I would seriously think about the longterm effect on his health, rather than conveniece.
  4. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from FutureNurse35
    I would not want that for my husband. Working 5-12 hr shifts is insane for any human being. If he can do it once in a while, that would be better, but every week uh uh. Dont you want your husband to also help you at home? How is he going to do that when he is working 60 hours a week?
    I would seriously think about the longterm effect on his health, rather than conveniece.

    To be fair - you have to individualize this. As I mentioned, my husband gets up very early and works long hours. He still manages to help around the house although I do the majority simply because I'm home more. He has so far cut 75% of the firewood we will need to get through the winter, which I consider helping around the house. We only have wood heat - no other backup. He does his own laundry and tosses in some for the rest of us too. He takes the garbage out each Sunday night. He built a new fence around our yard this last summer and while granted it took a long time, it is now complete.

    I give alot of credit to the op - she and her husband are trying to find a solution prior to having kids and getting alot of input is a great idea.

    steph
  5. by   mom23RN
    I have to say that it's for each individual as well. My dh LOVES his job. He actually gets up in the morning and LOVES to go to work. While he works about 12 hours a day, he doesn't really get home much later than most men I know (some of whom only work 8 or 10 hours a day). There are lots of other factors as well.

    How long does it take him to get to and from work. My dh is home 5 minutes after he leaves work. So no commute time. He gets home about 7 pm. He has time to have dinner with us, play with the kids, give them a bath, read them their story. He literally spends those 2 hours with them. There are some men who "work" far less and still don't spend that much time with their kids.

    Not everyone gets to work those nice 8 hour shifts either. Some people's jobs require longer hours. Oh.... did I mention that not only my dh works 12 hours but he's on call sometimes at night as well so he gets called out in the middle of the night also. And he still loves his job.

    He does help "minimally" around the house, but I can't see that changing a whole lot if he was home more. He mows the lawn and does most of the outside stuff. If he worked 15 hours a week he would be hard pressed to do some laundry or dishes. :chuckle
  6. by   augigi
    Not sure why you're asking for feedback and then dismissing it...? If you've already decided, go ahead and do it. I did it for a while and I was the walking dead the whole time. It is too much. In the corporate world, you get time to sit at a desk most of the time, do emails, have meetings. In nursing, you are putting your license on the line for a straight 12 hours every shift. Not to mention the risk to patients from trying to concentrate for that many hours per week.

    It is not doable for 5 years, and most responsible managers would not allow it. There is a reason for 3 x 12 hour work weeks, and it's due to research about the capacity to concentrate and the ill-effects on worker health.

    What if your husband drives into a tree on the way home from his 5th 12hr shift... definitely not worth it.
  7. by   Spidey's mom
    Not everyone working 5 12's a week is sitting at a desk however I would not ever say that sitting at a desk is not stressful or hard to do and less than nursing is.

    Driving a logging truck is also stressful, you have other people's lives in your hands, especially the nuts who think trucks can stop on a dime and so pull out in front of you. Farming and falling trees is hard physical labor and most farmers work from sunrise to sunset and then some. Fallers start at dawn and do hard physical labor until about 3 p.m. , about 9 or 10 hours a day. The drive to and from the woods adds a couple of hours.

    To the op - has your husband considered a free-standing surgery center? Usually very well paid, bonuses, weekends and holidays off? (at least here in CA).

    steph
  8. by   Tweety
    Anything can be done. Especially if he has you doing all the cooking, cleaning, chores, etc. It's not going to be easy for you either. You need to keep your expectations of what he does around the house to a minimum.

    I went through a period of about six months five years ago where I worked 4 12's a week and that was plenty. The problem comes that working 60 hours a week means time away from the kids, time away from himself i.e. private alone time, and exercise.

    But it can be done. Is he as determined as you for you to be a SAHM? Next year after working these hours is he still going to be supportive? Good luck in whatever you guys decide to do.
  9. by   BSNtobe2009
    Quote from aggieamy5
    I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr shifts, as well. Therefore, he would be working 5 12 hr shifts in a week (preferably in a row, nights). This seems like a lot to me, but he swears it will be no problem, as he has never had problems in the past with sleep or feeling tired. I'd love to hear any thoughts on this. Has anyone ever tried anything even remotely similar?
    I think it's a great idea, but the success of it will depend on what your agreements are as far as what needs to be done at home.

    I'm a traditionalist, I think if a wife stays at home full time (but ONLY if she stays home full-time), then he shouldn't have to worry about dishes, cooking meals, cleaning, doing his laundry, etc. Especially if he is putting in significant overtime in order to make it possible.

    I believe that is what makes it bearable, because when you are working 12 hours a day, it's all you can do to eat and sleep.
  10. by   aggieamy5
    Yes. If I did stay at home I would be doing all the cooking, cleaning, etc. Normally, he does most of the chores and household tasks, but if I stayed at home full-time, I would take on most of these tasks. I know my idea is pretty crazy, as most of you seem to think too! The main reason I have really considered it is because my husband thinks it will be no problem at all and he knows himself better than I do. We are trying to explore other options too. In my ideal world, I would work part-time and then he would not have to work so much, but part-time jobs are not readily available in my field. Like I said, I do appreciate the feedback and it does make me think twice about it! I guess all we can do is try it out for a while before the kids.
    I just came up with the idea based on my father's work schedule at a plant. He normally works 5 twelve hour shifts in a row, then he has a long change (several days off) then his shift rotates to 5 12 hour nights, etc. He often works overtime which means working 6 or sometimes even 7 12 hr shifts in a row. (This is commom at plants). I would never advise this (especially with nursing or medical care), but he will often come home, sleep for about 2-3 hrs and then spend the day with our family (shopping, eating out, etc). His job can be highly technical and he has to do very crucial tasks adhereing to safety precautions at all times. He does his job very well and is still doing it at 60 yrs. old! I know nursing is VERY different and I know my plan may not work in reality, but this is how I came up with it.

    One thing though I would like to address is just because you have a corporate job at a desk does not mean you are not stressed and tired after coming home from work. These "desk jobs" can be extremely stressful and demanding. At my job, I have days with tons of free time to read, sit at the computer, etc. I'm actually more tired from doing this (absolutely nothing) all day than the days I am constantly busy, running around everywhere. So, I know for me the more I keep busy, the less tired I actually am. I guess I tend to get tired from being bored.
  11. by   suehp
    Quote from aggieamy5
    I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr shifts, as well. Therefore, he would be working 5 12 hr shifts in a week (preferably in a row, nights). This seems like a lot to me, but he swears it will be no problem, as he has never had problems in the past with sleep or feeling tired. I'd love to hear any thoughts on this. Has anyone ever tried anything even remotely similar?
    How will you keep the children quiet at home when your Hubby is sleeping?DOes he awaken easily? I only ask because I do 3 x 12 hour nights and I only sleep about 5 or 6 hours during the day whereas at night I easlily sleep 8 hours. My Hubby is a SAHD (for reasons I dont wish to go into here)...anyway he has trouble with the kids when they start fighting and scremaing (as children do from time to time). We cant afford for him to take them out all the time either. Thankfully one is in full time school and the other is in part-time school now so the issues we had arent the same.... just something worth thinking of....now if it was days 12 hour shifts then I think that is easier to handle...

    The other issue is will he sleep ok on his days off - what if he gets split nights off - I have worked 4 x8 hour nights then only got one off then had to work another 4 nigths - not good for the body clock and this can increase the stress....and I felt like a zombie all the time - did this for 5 months and then had to swap jobs to 3 x 12 hours nights.

    What about time with the kids? WHat about time for himself? What about time with you? If you go ahead with this, have a plan or an idea in your minds of when this isnt working for any of you and decide to quit when it gets too much for any one of you....you dont want to get to the point of being so stressed out and that it HAS to work becasue there is no alternative....

    I admire you wanting to stay at home with your kids...so good luck with your decision.
  12. by   RNSacht
    [quote=aggieamy5;1922012]I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr shifts, as well. Therefore, he would be working 5 12 hr shifts in a week (preferably in a row, nights). This seems like a lot to me, but he swears it will be no problem, as he has never had problems in the past with sleep or feeling tired. I'd love to hear any thoughts on this. Has anyone ever tried anything even remotely similar?[/quot

    I would NEVER expect my husband to work such insanity. Do you still want a husband or just someone to pay the bills???? I work 12 hour shifts and 5 a week will burn him out in less than a year. I suggest you get a job on the days he is home. You can still be a GOOD mom while being a GOOD wife and not burning your husband out.
  13. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from RNSacht
    [quot

    I would NEVER expect my husband to work such insanity. Do you still want a husband or just someone to pay the bills???? I work 12 hour shifts and 5 a week will burn him out in less than a year. I suggest you get a job on the days he is home. You can still be a GOOD mom while being a GOOD wife and not burning your husband out.
    Now please, this is the second time my husband's schedule has been called "insane". He is not insane and neither am I.

    steph

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