I am a senior in accelerated nursing school
. I will graduate on May of 2014, if every thing goes smoothly. Here's my issue. I have a bachelors degree previously however, due to the unavailability of jobs in my field i did a career switch. When I did my previous degree i was always interested in health and diseases. I used to read a lot about disease prevention and such so i figured out I should go into nursing. I greatly admire nurses for the profession itself...Fast forward to present day, I am starting to have doubts on myself regarding my career choice as a nurse.
Ever since I started nursing school I always had some kind of physical issues, I started developing acid reflex , feeling fainted, something is wrong with me feeling etc. I kept on ignoring my signs and symptoms. However last semester was the breaking point for me. It was extremely hard semester and my stress level was off the chart. I missed my monthly cycle and developed bad cyst(acne like in face) etc. After the day the semester was over I had a terrible anxiety attack. My heart was pounding while I was cooking. It might not have been that bad but, I felt like something bad was happening to my heart as if I was getting heart attack or smth(which was obviously not the cause). I lost my mind that day I cried and panicked more which lead to fight or flight situation for about 1 hr. After that i was so scared of even my regular heart beat. I went to doctor and my bp was 125/86 with pulse 90. Normally it used to be 100/60 and pulse in 60s. It made my fear even worst. i was sacred to step out of my house and would look for ways to control anxiety over internet. I did several things over a month started exercising, yoga, eating right and so forth. I did EKG with cardiologist nth significant.
However after that incident of panic attack I have never fully recovered. i take every day as it comes try to be positive and so forth. I feel like i might not be able to be competent nurse although I passed med surge class and so far I am still in dean's list.
I look at the post where nurses complain about their job and regretting their choices of being nurse. This makes me worried more.I know my fear is not rational but, i cannot help thinking about my panic attack and if i will be able to handle the stress of nursing. Even though i try not to take any stress It appears in front of me in some way. All the symptoms I had before acid re flux nervousness, feeling faint were sign of anxiety which I did not know before. This semester they took us to cardiac floor I felt so at unease . Since panic attack and heart palpitation episode I do not like reading or dealing with telemetry floor. If i read about diseases I will think about what it happens to me or what if i have it and so forth..my biggest fear is after I start working as a nurse what if I have panic attack again instead of taking care of patient what if I start having issues and faint..does anyone else feel like this or had similar experience? I feel like I wont be able to handle the stress and blow it out of proportion. I am a good student and my clinical instructor thinks highly of me. I have never failed a class however, the confidence in myself has gone. I am almost always anxious and nervous these days although I think I am working on it ..some days are better than others.. Any word of advice?