Why do nurses fight so much with one another?

Nurses General Nursing

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I'm a new nurse and had some clinical rotations where nurses were just vicious to one another. It seemed like every time I came in, there were a few in a bad mood and giving another one the "evil eye" lol. As crazy as it sounds..this is the part of the job that will stress me the most. I don't like confrontation and I never go out of my way to start "drama", but so many nurses seem to be the exact opposite..and at the same time, I'm not going to be disrespected, but you also have to think about your license and making a bad impression with your boss, etc.

I realize that nursing is a team effort, but I'm wondering how hard it is to mind your own business and go about your job without "getting into it" with other nurses? I felt bad for the RNs I was working with..their patient care techs were lazy and gave them all kinds of attitude...the doctors and patients were barking at them...and then..for some reason..they were always fighting amongst each other.

I'm one of those people who is pleasant..In my perfect little world..everyone can be nice to each other, without being taken advantage of..but let's be real..that doesn't exist. I quickly discovered this in nursing school, as well. Some of the most disgusting people I have ever met in my life. I realize this doesn't speak for everyone's experience, but mine alone. So my idea..when I start working..is to get in and out. My nice attitude has always got me into trouble..seems people become too comfortable with me and mistake my kindness as my weakness..that's when the disrespect starts..little things here and there..not trying to deal with it. So when I first start working, I am going to be as quiet as possible...observant...and I don't plan on making any friends. The few people that I have seen who seem to do a little bit better than others are the ones who are quiet and/or shy and/or anti-social. You don't catch them in the break room chit-chatting...EVER. Bless them. haha

Are there any other tips? I can't see myself having an issue with the Docs or RNs that I will work under. I'm eager to help and don't take their indifference/stress too personally. I'm sure that will be challenged lol..at some point. Does anyone have any pointers?

BTW, as a LPN and/or RN..what exactly in your daily position do you have to do that requires/forces you to work with the other nurses? I realize there are reports at the change of shift...but what else and how do you minimize becoming a part of all that cattiness and abuse?

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Specializes in L & D; Postpartum.

In 34 years of nursing I have not experienced fighting among the nurses with whom I work. Now some of us do have a bad hair day from time to time, who doesn't, but usually that has to take the back burner as your work day begins.

And especially in a hospital setting, you will work "with" other nurses all day, every day. If you don't learn how to do that early on, or make it clear that you don't want to do that, you will have a very difficult time, even getting someone to cover you for a lunch break, or give a PRN med when you are elbow deep in a dressing change.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Cardiac.

I agree. I just keep my head down and do my job as best I can. I've only been on my floor 2 years so am not as accomplished as some of the other nurses and just plain don't have the time to gossip anyhow, not that I want to. I really don't know how the others have the time. On the other hand I've had lot's of patients tell me that they're glad they have me back.

I'm on a cardiac floor that does a lot of post cath etc. There isn't really all that much I do with other nurses unless somebody's bleeding or having some other problem. Usually the PCTs will help boost the patient's with me.

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I'm assuming other nurses will ask me to do stuff for them. I guess those are the same nurses I will ask to cover my shift, etc. It absolutely floors me that the lunch/break thing isn't written out...this isn't something nurses should have to worry about..there should be an assigned schedule with designated lunch times and who covers what.

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Specializes in L & D; Postpartum.
I'm assuming other nurses will ask me to do stuff for them. I guess those are the same nurses I will ask to cover my shift, etc. It absolutely floors me that the lunch/break thing isn't written out...this isn't something nurses should have to worry about..there should be an assigned schedule with designated lunch times and who covers what.

Yes, in many places lunch breaks and buddies are assigned, but there are times when both you and your buddy will be detained and it won't be possible for you to break each other. So you may have to actually interact with someone else and see if you can work it out.

One of my nursing instructors, waaaay back in the early 1970's, kept harping on how it was bad time management (on the part of the nurse) if he/she didn't get a lunch break. That was the FIRST thing I learned as a nurse: time management had nothing to do with it. You can't always just walk away from your patient with the excuse "it's my time for lunch."

There is so much interaction between and among the nurses who staff a floor. So again, my advice is to learn how to be a part of that and don't set yourself apart from it.

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

Be pleasant but not aloof. And there's nothing wrong with making friends where you work as long as you're not an exclusive clique. There's a group of us where I work who are all pretty tight, but it doesn't keep us from helping others out or even inviting them to go get a drink with us on the rare chances we get. Most of us who are really good friends have been working together for 4+ years...it's hard to not get along with someone when you have that much time invested with each other!

Honestly, the only "fights" I've seen have been from a handful of day nurses who either dumped on our more assertive night staff or else made idiotic mistakes that put patients in danger and then refused to acknowledge it or made lame excuses when it was brought to their attention. (Not trying to start a shift debate here, days just has more of that kind of nurse on my floor.) I'm not talking about little nit-picky stuff here, I'm talking about major issues like stat labs not getting drawn that were ordered hours earlier on a rule out MI, glucoses of over 500 not being addressed, IV access not being taken care of on a septic pt who is now circling the drain, etc.

Most places are not toxic environments, and if you happen to find yourself in one try to find a new place ASAP. My first job was so bad that I would drive to work crying...it's not worth it.

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Be professional, do your best work. Do not engage in the dysfunction.

If people have time for evil eye treatment, they need to review

why they have so much time to devote to staff personality

conflicts and not as much time for their patient.

Be polite with other staff, interact around helping with their specific

needs ,then depart to your own nursing assignment...

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I guess it's different where I'm at in NYC. Every place I go to you have the Jamaican/African cliques..the Asian cliques..etc. I've lived all over and I notice the attitude over here is somewhat brutal. What parts of the country are you guys in?

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In my experience, it's a unit culture thing. Different units in the same hospital can have totally different work atmospheres. Even the same unit on a different shift, or even a different night!

I've worked in the same unit for about 15 years. For a while I absolutely dreaded going in, seemed like all everyone did was complain--their assignment, your assignment, the dr, the aide, the supervisor.... It was actually about 3 people doing the complaining, they just sucked other people in; as those few people moved on, the atmosphere just got better.

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Because it's a female dominated profession? Lots of emotions and drama.

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Because it's a female dominated profession? Lots of emotions and drama.

So sad...but true. All other fields that I have been in that were male dominated were so much less drama!

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I can only speak for my unit.

On my unit its a new vs old thing. The nurses that have been there for awhile vs the new grads. There are so many new grads passing through the revolving door some of those that have been around longer treat us like doormats. They try to take total advantage and try to order you around and dump all the new admits on you.

It only took a couple of weeks for me to get a stonger backbone and make it clear that this wasnt going to happen. Some newbies are too nice and worry too much what other people think about them, and they get taken advantage of by the older clique on my unit. They run themselves ragged trying to do it all on their own whilst more gets dumped on them.

I go, do my job, and I help those who help me. Some people participate in teamwork and shift swaps, and some people dont. You learn quick who is on your team and who isn't. And that is who you work with. I am willing to help you out, but if the favor is never returned, I notice.

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