Why apologize to doctor when calling?

[Florence NightinFAIL]

Hi,

I'm a new graduate. I just wanted your thoughts/opinions on this. When calling doctors at night, I noticed that a lot of the nurses start the call with 'I'm sorry to bother you doctor, but....."

Don't they realize that the doctor is not on call out of the goodness of his heart? He/she is getting paid. That's his/her JOB.

I'm not heartless and can sympathesize with someone being woken up/sleep deprived/etc. but I'm not calling to talk about the weather or chit-chat about a game - so it's definitely not a BOTHER.

I feel like everytime a nurse apologizes for calling the doctor to do his job - they get this entitled feeling and that's why most act so nasty and bothered and start yelling at nurses for calling them. Some nurses just dread calling certain doctors and always make apologizes and it just annoys me.

Why do you think they do that?

And do you do it?

[AOx1]

Why wouldn't you say it? I am close friends with many of them. In a lot of ways, we've grown up together. I've worked with a few since they were PGY2. I know their families and they know mine. I AM sorry to wake them and their family, just as I dislike being woken up when I take call. I do the same when I must wake another nurse on call.

You mention that this just feeds entitlement. I don't see it that way. Every person I work with IS entitled to courtesy: docs, fellow nurses, dietary, CNAs, etc. It's time we stop acting rudely in a preemptive strike against the chance that someone MIGHT be rude to us. Bad attitudes breed more bad attitudes. I enjoy 99% of my coworkers and handle the rare incidences of rude behavior as they come and with assertiveness.

[shiccy]

This is kind of random, but this is the reason *I* do it. When I talk on the phone, I talk fast. I don't call to bullsh*t with anybody (unless they're already up). This is for multiple reasons, but one of many is a lot of docs don't WANT to listen to you ramble / talk slowly, but another is that I've had a few docs fall asleep, so by talking quicker gets your point across when they're still "with it".

Since I talk quickly, I give them that "sorry" because it orients them to MY voice and MY way of speaking. Every person is different, but those few extra words will get them into the 'know' of how you speak (accent/no accent/pronunciations of certain things, etc.)

Finally, if you were to wake ME up at 2am because your patient hasn't moved his bowels, I'd be FURIOUS, but perhaps a little less than that if you said, "I know, I'm sorry, they insisted".

[NPinWCH]

Someone mentioned PCTs in this discussion. I have been in the middle of something, the PCT comes up to and says "Sorry to bother you, but Mr. So-and-so would like...." Are they truly sorry? Probably not, but they are just trying to show some courtesy.

I've even had doctors pull me away from something (for instance, to help them find a chart) and they start out by saying sorry. Again, probably not sorry, but defnitely not showing that they feel subserviant to me...

Yeah that.

Docs and other RNs say, "Sorry to bother you...Sorry to interrupt you but..." So it's no different than saying, "Sorry to wake you..." It's really the equivalent of saying, excuse me, or pardon the interruption. It's polite and it means that you understand the other person is in the middle of something, but something else needs their attention.

I don't think it makes docs or anyone feel superior. It just makes life more pleasant.

[Poi Dog]

It's just pleasant and social....kind of like asking someone, "How are you?" when you really don't care. It also gives them at least a few seconds to get oriented to what's going on. No one wakes up from a deep sleep at 3AM ready to have a question thrown at them like a brick being thrown through a window.

Yeah, to the bolded.

[CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN]

I do it too. If you don't like that then how about "I wouldn't have woken you but......"

[Forever Sunshine, ASN, RN]

If its an hour I would be ****** to receive a phone call at home (between 9pm and 7am).. then I say "I'm sorry to bother you at this hour but... "

[ErinS, BSN, RN]

I do not have to call docs during the night, but I work with only 1 doc during the day, and I apologize to him if I call him more than was really needed (like I called him 1 minute ago, but forgot something important and have to call back). We have a great working relationship and I feel this is just a professional courtesy, and he will often apologize to me if HE has to call ME a lot or after hours. When I worked in the hospital I apologized when it was in the middle of the night. Although they get paid more and all that, it still sucks to be awoken at 3 am.

[NurseSnarky]

I HATE when nurses begin a phone call with an apology. Absolutely HATE it. I don't see it as courtesy at all. It gives the doc the upper hand and makes you look weak. What the heck are you sorry for?!?! It's their job. I hate that many nurses don't stand up for themselves. Ugh.

The upper hand in what? This isn't a game...it's not about winning or losing. It's about getting the best care for the patient. If I CHOOSE to be polite/courteous/whatever because I am sorry to have "bothered" the doc at 3am, well that doesn't make me a weak person. That's be compassionate. I'm just as sorry for bothering a PCT who's been running his/her behind off and I need some help. Nothing I hate more than someone just walking up to me and saying, "hey, you need to get this done and that done asap" and walking off. Being kind doesn't show you're weak, it shows you have character.

[mazy]

Being on call is part of the job but it is a part of the job that sucks. There are plenty of things that come up in my job that really mess up my day, and I feel a lot better about handling it when someone acknowledges that. It makes me feel like we're in this together.

Just common courtesy, and acknowledgement that you recognize the inconvenience. Doctors are only human, like the rest of us.

[sevensonnets]

Courtesy, politeness and good manners appear to have gone by the wayside these days. Since when does a simple "sorry to have disturbed you doctor" make an MD "entitled"? New nurses seem to expect that doctors will be rude and yell at them. I've worked with literally hundreds of doctors in 32 years of nursing. I am unfailingly polite and helpful to them and you know what? They return the favor! Doctors often seek me out when they need assistance with a procedure or just to ask a question because they know from experience that I am never rude and will always help them. Doctors know that good nurses are like gold to them in their practices and the reverse is true for nurses. It takes time to develop good working relationships with doctors but you won't be able to do that with an attitude of entitlement yourself.

[KJStarling]

I don't think of this as an apology... I don't usually say "I'm sorry..." I usually say something like "Thanks for returning my call/page... I hope you hadn't hit REM sleep yet, because I've got a situation here..."

When it's normal business hours, I usually say something like "Hi, Dr. Smith, thanks for getting back to me so soon... Do you know patient XXXX?"

Keep in mind, I know these people, we have (gasp) respect for each other! I think coming from a military background, where rank supersedes role, helps me manage this type of drama...

Of course, when I'm introduced to anyone new in any role, I shake their hand, and welcome them to the team... I assume we are all in this together with a common goal...

Are some people jerks? Sure! Are they all Doctors? NOPE!

When anyone is being a jack@$$ I tend to be very pointed and say "I realize this is stressful, can we focus on the issue that needs to be addressed?"

If the lunacy continues, I will often ask who they report to... hasn't happened often, but expecting people to behave well, and THANKING them for helping, No matter the job they do really does make a difference!

Yep... Please and Thank you.. they're called the magic words...

[hopefulwhoop]

The upper hand in what? This isn't a game...it's not about winning or losing. It's about getting the best care for the patient. If I CHOOSE to be polite/courteous/whatever because I am sorry to have "bothered" the doc at 3am, well that doesn't make me a weak person. That's be compassionate. I'm just as sorry for bothering a PCT who's been running his/her behind off and I need some help. Nothing I hate more than someone just walking up to me and saying, "hey, you need to get this done and that done asap" and walking off. Being kind doesn't show you're weak, it shows you have character.

In my experience (the people I've witnessed doing this), the nurses weren't saying it to be courteous or "kind." I never said being kind made you weak. What irritates me are the ones who call at 3pm in the afternoon scared to call the doctor and automatically start apologizing because they think they might get yelled at. That, in my opinion, is weak.