What's the dumbest remark you've heard yourself make...

Nurses General Nursing

Published

OK, I'll go first----

It was a busy day in our pediatric office (what day isn't??) and I was running ragged, rooming patients, helping other staff, etc. and in between crises helping answer the phones-----I picked up a line that had been on hold for a while and chirped "Thank you for helping--can I hold you???" Needless to say, a good laugh was had by all....:uhoh3: :chuckle

Or the time I was working in the hospital and had walked in a patient's room. He was asleep; his phone rang and I answered it--it was his family, checking on how he was doing. My reply--"Oh, he's dead to the world..." (Southern for "He's sleeping peacefully").:eek: "WHAT???" "Uh (prying foot out of mouth), I mean, he's fast asleep....".

Yikes!!! PLEASE make me feel not so all alone by relating some goofy things YOU'VE said....

KidsRN

Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

I was reading an order back to a physician over the telephone, and I got tongue tied, I read it to him as "125ml/hr of Ractated Lingers"

When my son was in first grade, they had a health lesson on what to do if someone was choking. One night at dinner, my daughter was coughing, my son yelled "Quick Mom, do the heinie remover!" I laughed so hard, I nearly choked. Well, damned if that did come to bite me in my orifice a few years later. I had a patient choking, and I rectified it with the Heimlich Maneuver. I had to report the episode to the physician, and as I was telling him the story, yep, I said it, "I did the heinie remover on the patient with good results" :imbar

Specializes in LTC, Dementia/Alzheimer's.
I actually said "orgasm" instead of organism...I wanted to die.

Me too! Except I did this in the 5th grade. My science teacher had us stand up and read out of our textbook. I must've read "Orgasm" instead of organism 6 times before she corrected me.

LOL! I didn't even know what I was talking about.. Neither did anyone else in my class, the teacher was the only one squirming!!!

Specializes in Pain mgmt, PCU.
Just the other day, making early a.m. rounds before listening to report, went into a lady's room for a quick assessment. Wanted to check her legs for edema and asked her to straighten out her R leg. She was an amputee. Yikes. Spanish speaking only which I guess was a good thing. I was orienting with another nurse who slapped me...playfully of course.

Done that, pt laughed and said "if you can find a pulse you're better than most". OOPS

Specializes in Pain mgmt, PCU.
I was getting an appy ready to go to the OR and took his temp. He had a fever of 102.4. I told him we'd have to do a Tylenol suppository and gave him the option of doing it himself.

"Yeah, I'd rather do it myself."

It was hour of 11 of my shift and I was exhausted. Wanting to make sure he knew how to do it, and without thinking, I asked "have you ever stuck anything up there before?"

If only life had Pause and Rewind...

I can't stop laughing......................................:chuckle

Specializes in School Nursing.

I have a habit of using the phrase "just a sec", short for second of course. A while back I had a couple of kids in my office and I was trying to shuffle them back to class when another one comes in and I tell her to give me "a couple of secs". This 10 yr old's face immediately brightens and her eyes widen and with a huge grin she asks me "sex?" Horrified, I assused her that I meant SECONDS. I never heard anything about it, so I assume she did not tell her parents that the school nurse told her to give her sex. :trout: I will never make that mistake again!

By far, the dumbest happened to me while I was at work. I was looking for some normal saline and I picked up a bottle of 0.9% sodium chloride. I turned to the doctor and said,"We don't have any normal saline only this 0.9% sodium chloride." He looked at me and turned beet red. By the time I realized what I had said he was trying not to laugh in my face. Needless to say, he won't let it die and I have to live with the shame to this day!!! LOLOLOLOL!!:smokin:

The worst one I can think of (and believe me there are plenty!), is when I was a new grad, and a CNA was helping me change the attends of a dementia pt. I ended up putting it on upside down, with the sticky tabs on top, and I told the CNA, "Sorry I'm not so good at this... I don't have kids." She shot me this "WTH" look, and I realized what I'd said. I was sooo embarrassed. First and last time that I ever compared an adult pt to an infant :uhoh21:

Specializes in Emergency/ Critical Care.

Me to pt sitting in triage: "Have you had any surguries?"

Pt: "Yes, I had a hysterectomy 5 years ago"

Me: OK. "So when was your last period?"

Pt: "Oh about 5 years ago"

lol

I'm still in nursing school for LVN and will graduate in August. I'm off to a wonderful start in the dumb comments department but I think the best/worst was last week. I've done my CNA and both semester clinicals at the same nursing home so I know the residents pretty well. Last week though they had a new woman and I was having a great day and chirped to her "How are you doing today?" she replied,"I'm doing pretty good.....but...I don't know where I am." Me, being the wonderful, empathetic, helpful "nurse-to-be" leans down, pats her arm and sweetly informs her that she is in the nursing home. She looks at me like I've lost my mind and says, "Well, dear I KNOW that, I meant I didn't know which hall I was on since they all look alike!" Talk about foot in mouth...I wanted to hide in a corner!!

Specializes in PACU, ED.

I had an intubated patient who opened her eyes and looked at me. I said, "How are you feeling?" :smackingf She just looked at me, watching my face turn red. :imbarThen I said, "I guess you've been better." She nodded and smiled slightly.

Specializes in Peds.

Wow, many I've heard...pretty much lacking common sense remarks.Not one I made myself but another nurse said...one that jumps out at me is with my own daughter from a nurse with 30+ years experience....we were taking my daughter to a medical appointment and the nurse actually said to me " so, do you just ambu her and put her back on the vent when you get home?" Now mind you.....we were going to a medical appointment that was 80 miles away..........I just looked at the nurse with that "you're joking me, right?" kind of look.........lol :banghead:

Specializes in Peds.

Oh MY...I just remembered a funny one I said years ago...it's nothing nursing related but is still laughed about to this day by my friends....

We were at the wake of one of my best friends grandmother. So me and one of my other friends were sitting together and we are in the funeral home sitting, you know how all the chairs are set up in rows.....full room pretty much and so quiet you could hear a pin drop, so I very casually lean over and whisper in my friends ear "God it's dead in here" well she turned bright red and very quietly got up and nearly ran out the door into the ladies room...so I got up and when I got out in the lobby I could hear her hitting the wall and stomping her foot because she was laughing so hard..she had tears she laughed so hard........it was so funny. Even my friend who was the granddaughter laughs about it......this was like 15 years ago this happened....I till chuckle about it when I think of it even now.....lol :lol2:

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