What is the dumbest order you ever read? - page 9

I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold ... Read More

  1. by   GeminiTwinRN
    I just had to post a freetext order that a resident ordered on a pt with End stage AIDS and encephalopathy.

    We are taking temp rectally, and he has a bear hugger for warming. (this just background info). We have a parameter for calling the MD for rectal temp < or = 95 degrees.

    Resident order reads:

    "Please correlate rectal temp with oral temp."

    Holy Mother! Can they not SUBTRACT AND/OR ADD?! WTH!

    I laughed out loud when I saw the order!! I had to show it to all who were nearby.

    We are not taking this man's temp orally. The resident simply wanted us to do the math for them!

  2. by   leslymill
    Appareently not.
    So you have to chart you took it rectally at 99F
    For him now we all have to do what 99 rectally=98 oral.
    sigh.
    To just put 98 oral is inappropriate documentation.
  3. by   GeminiTwinRN
    Quote from leslymill
    Appareently not.
    So you have to chart you took it rectally at 99F
    For him now we all have to do what 99 rectally=98 oral.
    sigh.
    To just put 98 oral is inappropriate documentation.


    I just wanted to clarify that our original order is for us to take the temp rectally. period.

    Now this new order for the correllation. All our recorded temps have been __ R. I just can't comprehend why the need to also record the -1 degree for oral.

    btw, this pt. temp (rectally) ranges from 93-96. yes, I said 93!!
  4. by   2shihtzus
    "Pt must have Blue Bell icecream TID."
  5. by   lawrence1.rice
    I wanna play too!

    When I worked cardiovascular surgery years ago:
    "Instruct patient not to watch ShowTime After-Dark" (late night cable porn that stressed his 1 day post-op CABG... The resident got upset about a little run of VTac at 2AM...

    "Please provide privacy for patient" - the intern had just been called to pronounce a DNR who expired... in a private room.

    "Please provide conjugal visits for patient" - just this last week... I still can not figure out how to present this to the insurance company as an approved treatment plan! I didn't know that we offered that service...

    "Inform family of inpatient admission" - By an attending physician on his own wife's chart! Order written after 9PM; when he finally answered his pages after 1AM we reminded him his wife was in the hospital! And yes, we had attempted to clarify this with him at the time...

    "Arrange for someone to walk patient's dog while in hospital" - sure, I'll run right over after being on my feet the last 13+ hours...

    And of course you gotta love those flimsy hall racks. A resident dropped a chart which promptly popped open and sent papers scattered about for 20 feet. His fishes out an order sheet and writes "Please put chart back in time for morning rounds". No problem buddy, right after I get down sticking these pins in a voodoo doll with your name on it!

    Gotta love it!


  6. by   nurse grace RN
    Patient may have 2 chocolate milks with each meal( if not premixed, nurses to make with hershey syrup) sure, like we have that on the floor

    Testosterone gel -apply as needed (for a patient that constantly masturbates)

    Nurses to wash patients hair---patient could easily do it himself

    Nurse must feed patient at each meal---the patient could eat with no problem

    Fleets enema TID daily ???? with no stop order
  7. by   Cherybaby
    "pt to be aroused q4h with painful stimuli"



    I think the doc was into bondage...:uhoh21:
  8. by   RNcDreams
    "Snickers Mini PO x1 now"
  9. by   KarafromPhilly
    "Foley to penis."
    On another patient, "Insert Foley sterilely."
    "Triamcinolone inhaler, 2 puffs bilaterally, BID." Um, as opposed to left or right lung only?
  10. by   EmmaG
    Quote from Cherybaby
    "pt to be aroused q4h with painful stimuli"



    I think the doc was into bondage...:uhoh21:
    :roll :roll
  11. by   DebRN06
    "Kindly feed pt, as he is now hungry."

    Could not believe doc wrote this as an order!! Thank goodness it was a doc I like alot and get along with well. So, I told him to please not ever write an order like that again as it makes us look like idiots that are starving our pts... and I also pointed out we don't write in the progress notes how long it sometimes takes YOU to return a phone call. He laughed and agreed and still we joke about it.
  12. by   Sabby_NC
    Hmmm this was many years ago...

    I was attending to a Doctor one evening after rounds etc yadda yadda yadda... He was writing a prescription out and he handed to me as he left. We were both younger and I think had a 'thing' for each other

    The prescription read... WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH ME 1X..

    No I did not go out with him because I was nervous and was not sure where it would lead!!! I was a very good girl back then!!!
  13. by   wayunderpaid
    Quote from Sabby_NC
    Hmmm this was many years ago...

    I was attending to a Doctor one evening after rounds etc yadda yadda yadda... He was writing a prescription out and he handed to me as he left. We were both younger and I think had a 'thing' for each other

    The prescription read... WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH ME 1X..

    No I did not go out with him because I was nervous and was not sure where it would lead!!! I was a very good girl back then!!!

    Smart pick up line!

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