What if you don't feel compassionate enough to be a nurse?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Nursing is something I have considered because I love learning about science and medicine. And of course with nursing all you hear about are all of the opportunities. Is there anyone out there that had doubts about being sensitive and caring enough to handle the patient needs? Is this something that is learned along the way or are people like me better off working in a lab where they can apply there interest in medicine?

Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.
The warm and fuzzy bs? wow. I hope you don't work in Peds. Or OB. Or ER. Or Oncology. Or hospice. Or....

:yeahthat:

Both should be required. Although no one is nice everyday, every one has their moments, I would not want to be remembered as "that mean nurse"

Specializes in Nursing assistant.

I am a non-nurse, and I would take competency every day over compassion in a nurse, but in no way do I think these things are mutually exclusive.

But, if you choose nursing as your career, I would encourage you to try to grow in this area. We are not all warm and fuzzy, but compassion is a character trait: essentially it is a choice to place someones well being ahead of your own in a given circumstance, and making the effort to understand their suffering at some level.

On the other hand, those of us who empathize too readily (I am one of those) sometimes need to learn objectivity.

I think that is the great thing about nursing. It stretches you beyond your natural traits, and potentially makes us better people.

Please forgive my spelling tonight, I am tired.

Specializes in Neuro, Acute, Geriatrics, Rehab, Oncology.

Some days I have not had one iota of compassion in me. All I could think was that "I am pregnant, hauling your #400 butt up in bed and fetching you drinks like a bar maid when I want to do is cry because I threw up all day and in the hospital parking lot, so stop whining at me , do as you are told and do not expect any more than the utmost necessary"

After I recharge for a few days and have some "me " time I am better able to put the compassion in my work. Although not an absolute, I do believe that the best nurses blend skill with compassion to produce the best patient outcomes.

Some thoughts relating to this subject that I wrote last year. It was in response to somene who was concerned about whether she was "cut out to be a nurse." Among other things, she was concerned that she wasn't "caring" enough.

"A couple of suggestions, if you want to decide if you're cut out to be a nurse.

1. Are you good with science? While nursing isn't pure science, it's an applied area, and if you're not good with dealing with scientific areas, nursing probably isn't for you.

2. Are you good with organization? Can you deal with simultaneous multiple demands? In other words, nursing requires shuffling demands on one's time from colleagues (other nurses, physicians, other caregivers), patients, as well as supervising others, and often dealing with family members.

3. Do you genuinely like working in close contact with people? If you are someone who prefers to work alone, you might want to reconsider.

4. Are you "quick"? By this, I don't mean intelligence, though that's needed. I mean, are you a quick learner, someone who's able to assess a situation and deal with it easily.

5. Some have recommended being a CNA to see if you like nursing. That's not a bad idea (I did it) but being a CNA is not being a nurse, and as a nurse, one deals with a whole different set of priorities and problems. I would especially encourage finding a nurse (local hospitals might help with this) who would let you shadow for a day, seeing how a nurse organizes a time schedule, deals with problems, and works through day-to-day practice issues.

6. If you don't have some of these skills, it's not the end of the world. All of them can be learned. But it's important to know that they are things nurses deal with on an everyday basis.

7. Notice that I said nothing about caring. That's because -- in the end -- nursing is not about caring. It's about doing your job. Caring comes and goes, and most days you will find that you genuinely care about your patients' well-being, and that's good. But there will be days when you honestly don't give a rip. That's OK, too. When those days come, you simply go on, doing your job, and being good at your career. "Caring" is sometimes overrated, as though a nurse who is professionally or technically incompetent can get by on "caring." Not at all. Caring is not having heart-felt emotion for your patient. Caring is being a top-notch professional who is skilled, competent, and able. That's what counts."

i find it important to mention that being compassionate is not synonymous with being a doormat.

often, patients require firm limit-setting, which doesn't accentuate our compassionate side.;)

but i think when a pt/family is in crisis, we know enough to allay fears, anxieties along w/a 'knowing' i feel for you.

it's all done in moderation, except for one's knowledge base; then it's 110%.

leslie

Specializes in Nursing assistant.
Some thoughts relating to this subject that I wrote last year. It was in response to somene who was concerned about whether she was "cut out to be a nurse." Among other things, she was concerned that she wasn't "caring" enough.

"A couple of suggestions, if you want to decide if you're cut out to be a nurse.

1. Are you good with science? While nursing isn't pure science, it's an applied area, and if you're not good with dealing with scientific areas, nursing probably isn't for you.

2. Are you good with organization? Can you deal with simultaneous multiple demands? In other words, nursing requires shuffling demands on one's time from colleagues (other nurses, physicians, other caregivers), patients, as well as supervising others, and often dealing with family members.

3. Do you genuinely like working in close contact with people? If you are someone who prefers to work alone, you might want to reconsider.

4. Are you "quick"? By this, I don't mean intelligence, though that's needed. I mean, are you a quick learner, someone who's able to assess a situation and deal with it easily.

5. Some have recommended being a CNA to see if you like nursing. That's not a bad idea (I did it) but being a CNA is not being a nurse, and as a nurse, one deals with a whole different set of priorities and problems. I would especially encourage finding a nurse (local hospitals might help with this) who would let you shadow for a day, seeing how a nurse organizes a time schedule, deals with problems, and works through day-to-day practice issues.

6. If you don't have some of these skills, it's not the end of the world. All of them can be learned. But it's important to know that they are things nurses deal with on an everyday basis.

7. Notice that I said nothing about caring. That's because -- in the end -- nursing is not about caring. It's about doing your job. Caring comes and goes, and most days you will find that you genuinely care about your patients' well-being, and that's good. But there will be days when you honestly don't give a rip. That's OK, too. When those days come, you simply go on, doing your job, and being good at your career. "Caring" is sometimes overrated, as though a nurse who is professionally or technically incompetent can get by on "caring." Not at all. Caring is not having heart-felt emotion for your patient. Caring is being a top-notch professional who is skilled, competent, and able. That's what counts."

Great post!

In fact, you brought out a couple good reasons that I am not a nurse. I am not a quick enough study, and would not be a great manager. Science, people, that stuff is great, but it is not enough. And yes, being a nursing assistant is not at all like nursing. Probably compassion is more of an issue for NAs. I can't imagine doing what I do without it. I would probably lose my cotton pickin' mind.

I have never met a good nurse that was not a caring person, but I do not think that is what made them a good nurse. Good nurses are really sharp thinkers.

Specializes in Adolescent Psych, PICU.

I think it's good to ask yourself this question before going into nursing.

If your not sure, why don't you shadow a nurse or do some volunteer work first to see what the day to day of an RN is like?

Only YOU really know if it's a good career match. I think are over reacting to your question.

I think it takes a combination of both intellect and compassion. But it also depends on what field of nursing you go into.....OB, ICU (might be a good choice for you there!), ER, trauma, Ped's, etc. I think if nursing is what you want to do there is something out there for you.

+ Add a Comment