What are your methods for keeping your cool at work? - page 2

First of all I have to say that things are going a little more decent in the workplace, but as always, there is something else. I have been having a problem keeping my cool at work. Whether its... Read More

  1. by   zambezi
    Also remember that you can't change others opinions/remarks/feelings...you are only in charge of you. You can decide how you want to respond, what you want to react to, etc. If you have truly examined yourself and what you can change about you without compromising who you are, then mabaye it is time to find another environment that is supportive and makes you happier to be there. Some people never find the right environment but most people can find somewhere where they are happy and work with those whom they respect and that respect them. I wish you luck...Mabye next time you start feeling like this you can remind yourself to take note- what are the triggers, is it a certain person/remark/attitude, are you adding fuel to the fire by responding with rudeness/what are your nonverbal actions saying? What can you do to change how you react, what you feel. Have you tried to talk with your coworkers about your feelings? Patients are a little bit of a different story (though they should still respect you...). I know that I am making this sound like it is your fault, and since I don't know you or your situtaiton I don't mean to come off like that. However, I am a firm believer that it does take at least two to make these feeling/actions continue...and if this is happening frequently, I think that it will do you a world of good to take a look at yourself and how you handle stress, etc. That and mabye you need to find coworkers that can support you, respect you, and most of all that you enjoy working with.
  2. by   leslie :-D
    when i first started out as a nurse, i found myself being quite abrupt with the nsg. assistants if they weren't doing their jobs up to par. i was extremely vocal with mds who gave me a hard time, you get the picture. i ultimately learned that it IS up to YOU on how you handle the situation. this has been such a learning process for me and has taken years. when you remain in control of yourself, then you remain in control of the situation at hand. you won't change overnight, but realizing that it begins with you is a major first step. there is more than one way to skin a cat or as another nurse says "you'll get more flies with honey than with vinegar."
  3. by   Tweety
    Great advice. Whenever I get like that usually there's a lot more going on the someone whom I'm allowing to control how I feel. I have to dig deep within when times allows, am I hungry, and I tired (a big one for me, if I'm tired, my grumpiness factor goes way up), am I feeling powerless over something, am I displaying self-anger at others (a big one, if my self-esteem is low I'm not as pleasant to be around, and when someone is criticizing me I get like this), am I fearful of something (being lonely, rejected, not a good nurse, etc.), is there something within me that I need to let go and work on?

    Good luck. Glad to hear works a little better and good to hear from you!
  4. by   Krissy NY
    Hi there

    No it is not you! I consider myself a very even tempered empathetic and caring person...but I too have a resident who could catapult me into a raging b*tch without some strength

    She is a tiny little thing who constantly insists that either she is dirty or she is wet. The RN knows of this yet makes CNA's take her to the bathroom several times a shift to check her. She is usually clean...and this resident feels she is not washed properly...she also thinks Carter is still President.

    So...what can we do...come here for support
  5. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from Krissy NY
    Hi there

    No it is not you! I consider myself a very even tempered empathetic and caring person...but I too have a resident who could catapult me into a raging b*tch without some strength

    She is a tiny little thing who constantly insists that either she is dirty or she is wet. The RN knows of this yet makes CNA's take her to the bathroom several times a shift to check her. She is usually clean...and this resident feels she is not washed properly...she also thinks Carter is still President.

    So...what can we do...come here for support
    :chuckle krissy, i laugh because i'm reminded of a pt. who also had dementia and insisted she wasn't clean 'down there'; that she had to go to the bathroom, even after we had toileted her; she insisted we did NOT toilet her. this would go on for hours... there was absolutely nothing we could do to appease her. there are just some patients that are impossible to help. but i certainly did not have the cna's toilet her every time she demanded it but she was toileted q2h even though she was totally incontinent and wore an attends- something else she denied....oy.
  6. by   smileystudent
    Quote from jaimealmostRN
    Hi Mandi! I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm also young, but have found that presenting yourself professionally and slightly seriously can help you seem more "mature." I can't tell you how to deal with toxic co-workers, but I have GREAT advice on how to deal with those problem patients. I work in an ER so we are allowed to be a little more pissy at times than perhaps on a floor :angryfire heheh. (No I'm not advocating it, Just my observations). But my friend taught me how to raise just ONE eyebrow and give this kinda "wow you're a loser look" without saying a word. It's not overtly mean and it doesn't come across as angry. AFter I do this the patient/family member usually gets embarassed and backtracks and sometimes even apologizes! You have to practice the eyebrow thing in the mirror a lot, but I swear by this!!! And if the person is still angry at you/service, what are they going to say to your manager..."She looked at me weird and I could tell she didn't like me!" Manager to self: Hmmm, lets get a psych. consult... Good Luck!!!

    jaimealmostRN I love that advice about the look. I'm going to start practicing that. I believe that could actually work.
  7. by   jaimealmostRN
    Quote from smileystudent
    jaimealmostRN I love that advice about the look. I'm going to start practicing that. I believe that could actually work.
    I swear, it works! Last night I used it on a rude bartender (at a formal event)and he started mubbling after that and I ended up with a free drink!
  8. by   Rapheal
    Here's some of my methods to reduce stress from work:

    When you leave work, really leave it. If work related thoughts or anxieties come into my head I force myself to think of something else.

    I will take a short trip for a couple of days with friends or family. Get's me out of my environment and makes me realize the world is bigger than it appears.

    I accept that I will not be appreciated for all I have done and remind myself that I probally don't appreciate everything another nurse or staff member has done.

    Apply for other jobs. I know this can red flag human resources when they check your job status (so I implore recruiters to keep my application confidential) but it is refreshing to realize there are other options. And when I have turned down other offers I realize the benefits of being where I am right now.

    Hope this helps. I am sorry that you are so stressed out at work. I hope things improve soon.
  9. by   tattooednursie
    I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your advice. Lady_Jezebel, for your advice of puting myself in the patients shoes, and I may be considering another positin. Thank you Nursebedlam for reminding me about beer o'clock, the best time of the day . Thank you Teacher sue for reminding me to step back and assess myself. Bellehill, Ty for your advice, i wish i get time for more of them ciggy breaks . Thank you Jamie! i have been practicing the look all day! Ty Ambhee04, that is a great place to put my focus on, and zambezi for reminding me that I cannot change people, and 3rdshiftguy for the grumpiness factor advice, and earle for reminding me that this situation is up to me. Ty Krissy, Your post made me chuckle. I had a patient like that as well, actually many . Thank you smiley for your reply, I think we could defeat all the idjiots of the world with the LOOK . And that You Rapheal for your tips, I have a major problem with leaving work thoughts at work, and I think that it one of the problems thatI I need to put alot of thought into.

    Thanks again,
    Mandi
  10. by   tattooednursie
    Wow I must be in a better mood today. I was so weepy and emotional yesterday. Check out all those smileys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Mandi
  11. by   jaimealmostRN
    Good luck Mandi!
  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    My method is NEVER ever becoming defensive in my dealings with people. I tell them straight-up when they are abusing me, that I won't tolerate it. It works well. Also, I leave work at work when home. It really does make all the difference to me.
  13. by   Benton
    Quote from FutureRN_Mandi
    First of all I have to say that things are going a little more decent in the workplace, but as always, there is something else.

    I have been having a problem keeping my cool at work. Whether its another staff member, or a super demanding patient, they find a way to shorten my fuse. I am not mean about it, but I am a complete grump for the rest of the day, I end up in verbal conflicts with staff memebers because I feel so edgy after some one says something that offends me. I'm not happy, and other people are unhappy around me. Do you feel like this often? How do you get rid of the feeling of resentment? I have tried counting to 10, I have tried not to think about it, but still I end up leaving work thinking that I don't want to come back.

    Thanks in advance,
    Mandi
    Hi, Mandi! As a former hospital nursing supervisor I learned more than I wanted to know about the conflicts that go on within a hospital. There can be units that seem to be magnets for toxic, unhappy people. It seems unhappy people are attracted to each other because they speak the same language. If you are unhappy in general, seek help. If you are in a toxic unit, get out! Remember, though, you will find unhappy people who want to make you unhappy in any given unit or for that matter, in any area of life. Make a game out of this conundrum by keeping notes on what upsets you and how you respond/feel. When a similiar situation happens again, try responding to it in a different manner and see what happens. In time, you will start to notice a pattern with people and situations. For instance, when I sense that I'm being set-up by a certain question I'll look the person asking the question in the eye and say, "Why do you ask?" I don't look-off and I stay silent while waiting for their response. They may have a ligitimate reason to ask. If my gut is right about a person having a hidden motive for a question, the person asking the question will probably say something like, "Well, I...I was just wondering." There is nothing that says you have to respond to a "I was just wondering" question, especially when it comes to your personal life. Make a game out of it and even laugh to yourself at how foolish some people can be. You can do it, Mandi! Benton

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