USA Land of Opportunity?? YEAH RIGHT!

blondebritbrat · Feb 3, 2005

Thunderwolf, thank you for that kind reply. FYI for all those kind people out there, I have decided to take the loans and get a part time janitoral/housekeeping job at nights.

blondebritbrat · Feb 3, 2005

MryRose, I thank god everyday that I do not have a child and am not single. I have a wonderful husband that supports me in every single way. I can totally understand how you feel because my mom was single too and tried to go back to school while working a full time job that paid less than 25 thousand a year and she still had me under her roof. Best of luck getting through school. You guys are the stuff that I aspire to be!

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Feb 3, 2005

Congrats on your decision, blondebritbrat (or BBB).

You see Fallonrn...kindness goes a long way. She knew what she needed to do for herself...but, she just had to get some of the steam out of her first.

No hard feelings, Fallonrn. :)

Maybe, you just needed to let out some steam too. :flamesonb

Wish you all the best.

medsurgnurse, RN · Feb 3, 2005

I am steaming mad right now!!! I have been trying to go back to school but need loans and grants. But guess what I don't qualify because my husband makes too much! He works two jobs and is a full time student himself. We barely pay the bills with the two jobs that he has and the allowance that I get from my trust fund from my dad when he died. I know what you guys are thinking oh trust fund she should be able to get money from that to go to school. WRONG!! I can't get ahold of my money til I am 25 and right now my uncle is in charge of my trust fund. My uncle is soo tight fisted because my father told him that was to be for school and after school it was to be for a house if there was any money left over. My uncle thinks that we should be able to make it on my husband's two jobs and the allowance that he gives me monthly and still have plenty left over for school and emergencies. One month we had 2 pennies left in our checking account after paying the bills and we still needed to buy groceries. We don't even make enough to save any money so if you are thinking oh well get the money from your savings account. We don't have one. Plus we are newlyweds. We are supposed to be out and having fun and enjoying each other right?? Yeah right! My husband is having to quit one of his jobs because he has been working so much that he's making himself sick. My husband drives 70 miles one way each morning just to go to school. We pay AT LEAST 500 dollars per month in gas. And right now we live in one of the cheapest areas in the suburbs of the DFW metroplex without living in the country. And we have the cheapest gas prices too! I hardly go anywhere since right now I am a stay at home wife. My husband wanted it that way so that when he would get off work/school I would be home and not off somewhere working. Because if I worked we would never see each other! We have both been really sick this month and we can't even afford basic medical insurance so on top of that we have hospital bills to pay.I hate driving right now because we are liability only and my luck I would get hit by someone and then they would claim it was my fault so I would have to pay for the damage to their car but my car wouldn't be fixed. OH how I miss full coverage!!! I qualify for loans but since I have a trust fund its ridiculous that I have to get a loan. My uncle thinks that I can work full time and go to school full time since he does it too and has two kids to boot and coaches all of their teams. But he is constantly stressed out all the time and I don't wish to live that way since I have a depression problem which gets worse when stressed. Plus I can't afford to go to a pyschiatrist to get medication for my depression however mild it is at times. I know I am gonna have to go back on medication if I ever go back to school. But the problem is actually getting there! We live in a country where things are promised and everybody has a equal chance at getting a good education. YEAH RIGHT!! Not to mention tuition prices go up every year in my state! Not to mention the wait list for nursing schools gets longer and longer every year!!! *SIGH* Plus we owe my father in law more than 30 thousand dollars because of my husband's school loan and truck and motorcycle and we owe my mom at least 5 thousand. I needed to vent. Sorry guys about the multiple upper caps words. I know it's yelling in the world of being online.... I feel a little better now LOL but now I feel like crying

Reality check. You may be frustrated but I know people in far far worse circumsatnces who made it through college. Let examine the situation. Let's see, you have a place to live so you're not homeless. Apparently you and your husband are both healthy. Your husband must love and adore you, otherwisw I dont' know why he would work two full-time jobs and go to school to make a better life for you both, while it seems you work no jobs. Have you considered taking a job, so that your husband can finish school. And when he graduates, he can work while you go to school. Clarify something, you guys are broke, but your husband has a motorcycle and a truck, which apparently your husband borrowed from his parents to buy. If anybody thinks I'm being mean, that's ok. sometimes we all need a reality check. Also, you didn't mention children so i guess you don't have any. I know many in my nursing school class had children, worked full-time, and went to school full-time. And when I went back for BSN the ratio of full-time work/ fulltime student was 100%.

I read more of your post and now have a clearer picture of your situation. Your didn't mention you hearing loss. But you can still get a job, maybe even a s a nurse assistant. Its actually really good experience for going to nursing school. Tell the nurses you work with that you are going to nursing school and they will be glad to let you in on good nursing experiences such as watching procedures. And if school loans are the only way to go to school then do it. Be rersonsible with your money. keep a budget so that you uncle does not try to freeze your trust fund.

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Feb 3, 2005

Medsurgnurse, you gave a very well balanced post to BBB.

No, you were not mean.

Your post was informative and supportive.

There is nothing wrong in reality checks.

Good post.

blondebritbrat · Feb 3, 2005

LOL I did get a reality check so thank you! I just decided to suck it up and get a job and take the loans. Maybe you should have read the entire thread and all the posts, Medsurgnurse.

blondebritbrat · Feb 3, 2005

Thanks EVERYBODY for their great advice and I know it is not as bad as it could be. I know some people who were actually homeless and going to high school with me but would not take any kind of "charity" because at one point I thought about offering them my couch to sleep on they were kicked out by their mom because their mom's boyfriend didn't like them, but was told by another person that they would be really insulted if I did that so I didn't. The same situation happened to me when my parents divorced and my mom got a live in boyfriend. He did everything he could to make my life miserable. He even would lock me out even though I had my own key and sometimes I would have to wait in my car or drive back to my dad's house and wake them up in the process in getting in the house. At one point I thought I was going to be homeless too because my home situation was so bad and I didn't want to live with my dad. But here in the state of Texas you have to live with a parent or legal guardian otherwise if you get picked up you get thrown in jail, I know somebody who that happened to and were returned to their parents only for the parent to tell the cop I don't want them here and I kicked them out which is also against the law as long as the kid is in high school no matter if they are 18 and still in high school. Sorry I have gone off topic. SO I do know it is not as bad as it could be.... BACK TO TOPIC lol... I just am extremely cautious in getting anything that has a interest rate attached to it besides a savings account. I don't even have a credit card right now. My parents raised me in extreme debt because they didn't know anything about credit cards when they got married so they just charged everything on it from food to whole vacations.They were in debt basically up til I was in my last years of high school. So I am just really leery of credit cards, loans and all of that. SO thank you for putting up with my ranting. I knew what I had to do I just didn't like the option lol.

Nurse Ratched, RN · Feb 3, 2005

(Edited to add: I missed the later posts before writing this.)

Land of opportunity does not mean you will have an opportunity to vault into a high paying job with no education or experience. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working as a custodian (my dear grandmother did until she died at age 74.) My first job was a housekeeper in a nursing home and during nursing school one of my three jobs was cleaning a church. Where there is a will, there is a way.

We all have issues in our lives. We have the right to pursue happiness, not to have it handed to us. I know your road is going to be hard, but take the loans, get the "low paying crappy job" even if it's scrubbing other people's toilets, and go after what you want. Good luck :).

blondebritbrat · Feb 3, 2005

UPDATE: It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to worse then from there to just AMAZING!! I went to the mail box at my hubby's insistence since he was expecting some news from his family's lawyer since they were pursuing a lawsuit against a general surgeon that performed a gastric bypass on my husband's mother and she died because basically the surgeon left a hole in her stomach. The surgeon led my husband's family to believe from what I understand that he was a specialist in the field and had done this type of procedure thousands of times. I don't know how you can believe that when you can ask to see their credentials and certificates and degrees and call the board and see if the doctor is certified and allof that crap. But anyways I got the mail and I saw the letter from the family's lawyer and my husband opened it because it was pretty thick and we were curious to what it said. Basically the doctor settled the lawsuit and has agreed to pay 200 thousand. My husband's part will be at least 50 thousand. This is gonna be enough to pay 30 thousand that we owe my father in law and enough to pay for my husband's school loan and pay my mom back for the money she has loaned us too. Plus we are gonna be able to p ay off our credit card which we have cut up. Then if things couldn't get any better, I checked my email and I got an email from my uncle who is in charge of my trust fund. He basically apologized for some of the comments he said and said that he would not try to take legal action if I decided to take the loans and use the trust fund to pay back the loans when I am eligible for my trust fund. And then said that he took it upon himself to research some of the loans that I actually qualified for and said he thought that the interest rates were too high and proceeded to tell me NOT to get the loans and that he will pay for everything in regards to going back to school even a private college because the wait list for all nursing programs are so long. And including books and lab fees and parking fees if there are any and that when I finally reach my goal of being a nursing student not to worry about the required student insurance and that he would also spring for malpractice insurance if need be and if I couldn't afford it while I was a student. Apparently he told his wife my aunt about my situation and what I was wanting to do and she just reamed him over some of the comments he said. And reminded him that my trust fund was for exactly to help me go to college, not just for a house. LOL I am so happy that the situation just seemed to resolve itself that I am just literally walking on air. Thanks everybody for their advice and just listening in general.

blondebritbrat · Feb 3, 2005

Oops I accidentally hit the send button. I also meant to mention that my uncle has also offered to pay my hospital bills from this month if I can't get any assistance in doing so. My husband was soo happy when we figured all this out that he cried. Mainly he was just glad he wasn't going to have to testify in court about what his mom went thru, but was really relieved about basically coming out of this debt free in the end. I cried too so LOL

Tweety, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2005

Glad to hear that things have turned around. Good luck. Be careful with your money. Be careful with your trust fund. Best wishes.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2005

(Edited to add: I missed the later posts before writing this.)
Land of opportunity does not mean you will have an opportunity to vault into a high paying job with no education or experience. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working as a custodian (my dear grandmother did until she died at age 74.) My first job was a housekeeper in a nursing home and during nursing school one of my three jobs was cleaning a church. Where there is a will, there is a way.
We all have issues in our lives. We have the right to pursue happiness, not to have it handed to us. I know your road is going to be hard, but take the loans, get the "low paying crappy job" even if it's scrubbing other people's toilets, and go after what you want. Good luck :).

I've flipped burgers, mopped floors, picked up trash, did what I had to do to make ends meet once upon a time. I didn't have a trust fund coming to me at age 25, nor any settlements, nor a rich uncle. It's a good thing, because I'd probably be broke now anyway. :rotfl: