USA Land of Opportunity?? YEAH RIGHT!

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I am steaming mad right now!!! I have been trying to go back to school but need loans and grants. But guess what I don't qualify because my husband makes too much! He works two jobs and is a full time student himself. We barely pay the bills with the two jobs that he has and the allowance that I get from my trust fund from my dad when he died. I know what you guys are thinking oh trust fund she should be able to get money from that to go to school. WRONG!! I can't get ahold of my money til I am 25 and right now my uncle is in charge of my trust fund. My uncle is soo tight fisted because my father told him that was to be for school and after school it was to be for a house if there was any money left over. My uncle thinks that we should be able to make it on my husband's two jobs and the allowance that he gives me monthly and still have plenty left over for school and emergencies. One month we had 2 pennies left in our checking account after paying the bills and we still needed to buy groceries. We don't even make enough to save any money so if you are thinking oh well get the money from your savings account. We don't have one. Plus we are newlyweds. We are supposed to be out and having fun and enjoying each other right?? Yeah right! My husband is having to quit one of his jobs because he has been working so much that he's making himself sick. My husband drives 70 miles one way each morning just to go to school. We pay AT LEAST 500 dollars per month in gas. And right now we live in one of the cheapest areas in the suburbs of the DFW metroplex without living in the country. And we have the cheapest gas prices too! I hardly go anywhere since right now I am a stay at home wife. My husband wanted it that way so that when he would get off work/school I would be home and not off somewhere working. Because if I worked we would never see each other! We have both been really sick this month and we can't even afford basic medical insurance so on top of that we have hospital bills to pay.I hate driving right now because we are liability only and my luck I would get hit by someone and then they would claim it was my fault so I would have to pay for the damage to their car but my car wouldn't be fixed. OH how I miss full coverage!!! I qualify for loans but since I have a trust fund its ridiculous that I have to get a loan. My uncle thinks that I can work full time and go to school full time since he does it too and has two kids to boot and coaches all of their teams. But he is constantly stressed out all the time and I don't wish to live that way since I have a depression problem which gets worse when stressed. Plus I can't afford to go to a pyschiatrist to get medication for my depression however mild it is at times. I know I am gonna have to go back on medication if I ever go back to school. But the problem is actually getting there! We live in a country where things are promised and everybody has a equal chance at getting a good education. YEAH RIGHT!! Not to mention tuition prices go up every year in my state! Not to mention the wait list for nursing schools gets longer and longer every year!!! *SIGH* Plus we owe my father in law more than 30 thousand dollars because of my husband's school loan and truck and motorcycle and we owe my mom at least 5 thousand. I needed to vent. Sorry guys about the multiple upper caps words. I know it's yelling in the world of being online.... I feel a little better now LOL but now I feel like crying :crying2:

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Take a deep breath.... now another.... and another.....:)

I know you are really frustrated right now, but trust me, if nursing is your goal this need not be the end of the world for you. If you have to wait till you're 25 to go to school or if you have to get loans or if you have to get a job, in the long run it will not matter too much. Try not to give up hope.

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OK....you're broke BUT you do not work. You want to go to school AND you qualify for loans BUT you think that is ridiculous. You don't want to work because you would never see your husband...well I'm sure there are a lot of people in that situation... what good is a lot of time together broke and stressing when you could work and actually enjoy the time you do have together? Speaking from experience (I won't go into my story) GO TO WORK, get some loans, go to school, get a good job, live happily and let your trust fund help pay off your debt.

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Uhh to the above poster Maybe you misundstood what I was saying. I never see my husband already. Some days he leaves at 5 30 in the morning and isn't back til 1 o' clock at night. I already talked to my uncle about just getting the loans and then when I am out of school let the trust fund pay my loan debt. My uncle informed me that he would not allow me to do that because after I get out of college I should be concentrating on investing in a house. I was like well if I am 25 by that time you can't do anything about it. And he just kind of made a comment that lead me to believe he would take legal action meaning he would file a petition with the bank not to let me have the money because I would be wasting the money on fruitless things. I don't know if he can actually do that but if I die or something happened to me he would get the money basically I think. I know I know I don't think paying back debt is fruitless but thats what he said!

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And BTW I actually want to work even if it would be a dead end job with crappy pay. Sometimes I am so bored because I don't see my husband that much already I feel like I am waiting around on him all the time to show up lol But I have other health problems and plus my mom was in a really bad wreck almost two years ago and nearly died and nearly lost her leg. She still has to have a lot of assistance. My mom helps us out as much as she can but she's on government aid herself til she can find a job that would actually accomdate her disability now. She can barely walk and uses a cane and some days she has to use a walker. She still uses a wheelchair at times when we go to a public place like a mall or whatever.

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Thanks Fergus for your post. I did exactly that when I read your post breathing one breath after another . LOL

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My two cents: take the loans and go to school. If you get to pay them back with a trust fund at the end, great. If you don't, who cares? You'll just be like most of the rest of us. I graduated in debt. Getting the education I needed to start a career was well worth every penny. If you look at it that way, you might find your situation isn't as bad as it feels right now.

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Begalli I am now considering a part time job. The problem is that the only skills I have are secretary skills, but since I am totally deaf most offices would not hire me because they want a secretary that can answer phones. I communicate really well I have excellent vocal skills to the point where people think I am joking or lying about being deaf. And then I have to show them my hearing device that I have in order for them to believe me. I tried being a cashier at Walmart but the overhead announcements were so loud that I couldn't hear the customers if they had a question to ask me and not to mention that the service phone that I had at my cashier post rang constantly and if I didn't answer I got yelled at even though the managers knew I was deaf. They all thought that I could still answer a phone. I guess they just didn't realize how DEAF I was. So I quit after a month and it was the month before I got married in May of 2004. So I have tried to work and it wasn't successful.That comment was directed to the posters that said I should get a job. But I am actually considering janitoral or housekeeping work. LOL Some of the hospitals around here pay pretty good and I was raised with a mother that was practically OCD about cleanliness.I have heard that they give pretty good benefits too so that would solve my problem of not having health insurance for right now. LOL I know my husband would not like me doing that type of work because if my family found out that I was doing that kind of work they would just freak and say oh thats so degrading or comments like that. But they all work dead end jobs and struggle to make ends met even though they are all in their mid thirties and on up. So I guess its all in the eye of the beholder huh? LOL

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Fallonrn, I was extremely hurt when I read what you said. How exactly have I brought all these problems upon myself? Is it my fault that my mother was hit by a 16 year old girl in a car while she was on vacation? Is it my fault that my dad got cancer and died?? Then I got depressed about it?? Is that all my fault? BTW I am off all medications except for birth control. Maybe you need to re read my post. I consider myself very lucky since I do qualify for loans and after listening to all these other wonderful people I am going to take the loans. I came to this board for support not to be told to shut up. It's still a free country to be able to talk among people on the internet. I don't consider myself a victim or anything. The only time I have ever been a victim was when I was raped. And even then I didn't have the victim mentality. The guy who did that to me TRIED to make me a victim that way but was unsuccessful. BTW I was never on prozac but maybe you need to be on something since you replied in this manner.

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BTW Fallonrn, I am sorry you feel that I am a "nutjob" and hope that nobody else gets the response that I got from you when all I wanted was some advice on whether I should take the loans or not. Maybe I should have made my original post clearer. For that I apologize too.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.

Fallonrn, I am kinda shocked at your outburst. What gives? Let the gal rant or vent if she needs to...what does it hurt? She asked to vent, possibly get feedback, and maybe some direction...but, not a slap in the face. Hey, we all have our moments. I've bet you've had yours too. I'm not asking you to be her big bro/sis...just not a bully, ok? Hey, I would have treated you kinder in YOUR moment.

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Sorry, but there are plenty of people out there without a trust fund or husband that need the freebies. Be glad you are not a single Mom receiving no child support with mouths to feed too!

Get some counseling (for depression), get a job and try and realize that you have time on your side. I'm back in school and in my 40's! It's never too late to pursue your dreams if you truly want to.

You might want to consider doing some volunteer work while you are getting things in perspective. There are a heck of a lot of people who are in worse situations.

If you still think Nursing is for you, get the loans and jump in the boat with the rest of us. It's not cheap to follow your dream, but personally I think it will be worth every penny I spend.

Best Wishes,

MaryRose

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