Torn between continuing my education and my family :(

Nurses General Nursing

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I could really use some advice and I figure there are more people on this site that will understand my dilemma than just about anywhere else. I graduated from my LPN program last August at the top of my class, passed boards in late September, and found employment at a GREAT SNF in mid October. From what I have read here I am one of the lucky ones and am eternally grateful.

I returned to community college to begin the pre reqs for the fast track program (to RN) in January. I'm overwhelmed with personal responsibilities and work. My Mom became ill the week after I started back to school and we unexpectedly took in an extra child. I have also had some marital difficulties (not the norm for us).

My dream was/is to get the letters RN after my name. More money and opportunity are sure to come with that title. I think I'm very capable of doing it I just wonder if now is the time. Then again if I quit after this semester and return later will my license as a practical nurse be enough to support my family in the mean time? Is my future as an LPN secure in LTC/Rehabilitation? My oldest child is about to go to high school. I'm considering waiting until she graduates.

Your advice and opinions are greatly appreciated.

Specializes in Critical care.

I'm in graduate school, work full-time and have a preschooler and an infant at home. I certainly do not ignore my children and I am very involved in raising them. Does it make me a tiny bit sad to drop them off at daycare when I go to work or class? Of course! That feeling reminds me that when I am with my children, it is about the quality of the interaction and cherishing our time.

I won't lie, it is very difficult. I am usually tired and the house is messy. I sometimes sacrifice day trips to the beach or a cookout because of needing to finish a project or having to work. However, there is always clean laundry (somewhere!), food in the fridge and diapers in the nursery. I do find time to take my kids to the park or visit with friends and I appreciate it that much more when I find the free time. I am so very lucky to have a supportive husband who isn't above helping out.

I've talked to several NPs who went through their programs with small children. All of them felt it was the right decision for them because their children needed more attention when they were school age. Yes, they are only little once....but at this age, there isn't homework, soccer, piano, etc. The kids are in bed by 7:30 and I can study a few hours before going to bed. I know when the kids are school age I will want to get away from 12 hr shifts and rotating weekends to be there for those activities. Being an NP will allow me to do so.

School, work and family is difficult to balance but feasible under the right circumstances. Caring for an ill parent or martial problems seems more important and it might not be the right time for you. School will always be there, in a variety of options--online classes or part-time might work for you. Your home life sounds like a priority right now. Good luck!

Specializes in being a Credible Source.

I'm of the opinion that there's never a good time for an established person to go back to school. In my case, it came with enormous sacrifices (as have the first 16 months of my nursing career).

It's hard to say for certain if it will turn out to have been worth it or not. I certainly mourn the significant loss of time with my kid that I will never get back. OTOH, I am working and earning a living (of sorts).

All in all, though, I think it's best to take decisive action in the present rather than waiting in the hopes that circumstances will be more favorable in the future.

You can have it all, just not at the same time. Yes your children SEEM to need more time when they are older to shuttle them around to the activities and relationships that replace the time they used to spend with you. The truth is they needed you just as much then to build the foundation for the relationship you will have with them forever. You just notice it less because you are not on a "soccer mom schedule". They will miss you and you cannot get that time back. I believe in fulfilling your dreams but not by treating your children like a chore that you pay someone else to do while you put something else first. You seem to really love your family and putting them first for a time is never a mistake. They aren't gonna care about your title or paycheck. They will care if you are/are not around. Parenting is not a job you can be good at with very bad attendance. Society seems to think so. I wish you all the best. God bless.

Specializes in LTC.

Thank you all for your input. I still don't know what to do. I'm thinking that I might just cut my number of courses. I wonder if I'm struggling this much with the pre reqs if I'll ever be able to cut it in the nursing program and work full time. The course work isn't that difficult, just time consuming. One day at a time is the best answer for now I guess.

Thanks for so many heartfelt responses!

Specializes in FNP.

Why not slow down? Take one less course, work one less shift? My biggest regret is that I waited 18 years to go to NP school. I wasted too much time. :-(

Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, LTC.

School will always be there when you are ready... Your family may not. :crying2: Things are stressful for you right now. I say put off school if your mom isn't well, your marriage is rocky, and kids need you. Being an LPN is very honorable. You can still be an RN, I just feel this is one of those things that would be best to put off a year or two in your situation.

Family first. School is always there. You don't want to miss those precious high school moments with your child.

Specializes in Emergency.

That is a very personal decision that you'll have to make.

but since you're asking for outside opinion . . . imho, it would be in your best interest to:

1) First, work things out with your husband (if things are hard now, it will most likely be harder if you separate . . . and need to take care of your family responsibilities/school/work . . . )

2) In the meantime, you may need to lower either your number of hours worked/prereqs that you're taking or both.

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