I had an epiphany of sorts last night whilst at work.
For the last few months I have been struggling with working full time and trying to get my requirements done so that I can get into nursing grad studies. I was convinced that this is what I wanted to do with my life. I am not content being a general duty nurse. The longer I work on the floor, the worse I'm going to be, I think. Shift work is getting to me. I am becoming too frustrated with everybody else who doesn't share the same drive as I do. This impatience always rears its ugly head when I am dissatisfied with life.
I feel like I'm at a crossroad. The application for grad school is due in February and I need to make a decision about my life.
Sure, I think I'm a good nurse. There are areas of being a nurse that I just love and I don't regret being a nurse. I'm just really dissilusioned right now with nursing. I thought my life would be better if I challenged myself more or if I picked a more independent aspect of nursing such as being a CNS. I'm also afraid that if I choose to study gerontology, it will be too limiting. I have seen that having such a position just gets you that much closer to the politics. I'm wondering if I need to get out of health care altogether. It's just bringing me down and I don't see it getting any better. I'm afraid I'm headed for burnout.
Psychology is another love of mine. I "minored" in it while I was a nursing student in university. I have a lot of classes under my belt already. Would it be crazy to abandon my ambitions to be a CNS and pursue this instead? I think I'm a gifted counsellor already. I could definately apply what I know about working with dementia towards psychology. The thought just opens up a whole new world for me. To study dementia from the cognative psychology point of view would be facinating. Imagine doing so, without having to put up with all the Bull**** of nursing along the way. :)
In a way, I think it would be a relief to focus on something different then nursing for once. Oh what to do, what to do??!!
Can you help me decide?